


When Cupid's Away

by adelagia



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 21:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 81,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12117945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelagia/pseuds/adelagia
Summary: Despite being a little bit in love with his friendly neighborhood barista, Kibum's life of office work and hanging out with his friends is quite uneventful. What causes it to take a turn for the extraordinary is an administrative blunder -- the kind that puts other people's love lives into his hands. That, and the unfortunate side-effect of shooting down his own chances at love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to [chenrise](http://www.chenrise.tumblr.com) for her incredibly insightful and thorough beta job, as well as for her guidance and suggestions about the title and summary. Many hearts also to [kimjongkey](http://www.kimjongkey.tumblr.com), who made fabulous graphics for me! ♥

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155098857@N08/37143081411/in/album-72157685276511872/)

 

Vortices to Hell surely were not as unassuming as this, a quiet coffee house with mismatched seating and vintage movie posters stamping what bits of wall weren't behind stuffed bookshelves.

But throw in their caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream and the cute guy behind the counter, and what that gave Kibum was a direct line to gluttony and lust all at once. He imagined himself suspended somewhere between the second and third circles of Hell for his transgressions, corpulent and unfulfilled at the end of it all, but remained in line anyway.

Stealthily, he peered around the heads of the two customers ahead of him for a quick glimpse of the manned counter, more for the man than the counter.

He'd found Blue Night about three months ago, after missing his usual bus to work and having to take an alternate route that dropped him off a little further away, and in that time had managed to upgrade himself to regular status with a handful of the employees, including, and most importantly, Jonghyun.

It wasn't his big, toothy smile or his striking jawline – though they certainly helped; it was the way Jonghyun focused the whole of his attention on you, as though he had no other interest in the world than your answer to "what can I get for you today?" As if he found Kibum's coffee habits absolutely compelling.

Kibum wasn't so delusional as to suppose that he _was_ fascinating. Despite what his grandmother had insisted during his early years, he wasn't anything very special. If he was good at anything, it was in things that didn't particularly count – remembering birthdays, a fastidious commitment to returning borrowed items in a timely manner, waking up just before the bus rolled into his stop. Fascinating was something that happened to other people, even if, once a week, Jonghyun made him feel differently.

But he noticed that ( _not_ scrutinized, whatever unhelpful friends might suggest) Jonghyun did that with every customer, made them all feel special in turn – yet even while ruminating on this, he still couldn't help the swoop of pleasure in his stomach when it became his turn in line and Jonghyun smiled his way.

"Good morning!" said Jonghyun, brighter than anyone had a right to be before eight. He was also prettier than anyone had a right to be, with soft, brown eyes and a smile so dazzling it should have been zoned as a neighborhood health hazard. This morning he had hidden his hair underneath a grey cap, which saved Kibum the trouble of fantasizing about running his fingers through it.

"Hello. Hi," said Kibum in an attempt at breezy. "How are you?"

"Great. Always good to see you," Jonghyun said, leaning his palms against the counter. "What can I get you?"

Later, when he got home from work, Kibum would discuss in painstaking detail with his roommate and perennial enabler Taemin about just how much stock he could put in _always good to see you_ , but for now, he tamped down the flush of gratification and said, "Large caramel macchiato—"

"With extra caramel sauce and whipped cream?" Jonghyun finished, grinning. "I don't know why I ask anymore. We should just name it after you and put it on the menu. The Kim Kibum Special. What do you think?" If Jonghyun hadn't already managed to endear himself to Kibum by this point, the twinkle in his eye would have been the clincher.

"I definitely wouldn't complain," said Kibum. He fought the horrifying urge to giggle and covered the twitch to his face by rubbing his nose.

Jonghyun tapped the counter. "One Kibum Special coming right up." As he typed the order into his computer, he added, "So, Thursdays must be your special treat day."

It was, of course, too much to ask of Kibum's brain to handle extended and unexpected small talk with the cute boy across the counter, and so the best it did for him on short notice was, "What?"

"Well, I only ever see you on Thursdays, so I figure, Thursday must be the day you treat yourself to this amazingly healthy drink," Jonghyun explained. "Unless, of course, you're cheating on me with other coffee shops the rest of the week."

"No!" Kibum said, and forcibly swallowed the rest of his protestations once it dawned on him that the twinkle in Jonghyun's eye meant that he was joking. He tried again, gathering reserves of suaveness that must reside in him somewhere, lurking in a hard-to-reach corner. "No, you're all the coffee I need."

It did the trick, as Jonghyun beamed at him. "I'm glad to hear it."

Kibum swiped his card through the iPad tilted toward him, using it as an excuse to duck his head and hide the flush that was surely creeping up his cheeks. Warring factions in his mind began to make noise; a cheering section celebrated the idea of _oh my god he's flirting with you_ , while the pragmatic part of Kibum that usually told him not to be stupid about things told him not to be stupid about this either.

 He collected his macchiato, taking the voices in his head to be crazy elsewhere, and said to Jonghyun, "Thanks. Have a nice day."

"You too," Jonghyun said with an easy smile. "See you next week."

Kibum nodded and moved away to a small wooden island where carafes of milk and myriad sugar packets held court. The customer behind him in line took his place and was greeted with a loud, cheerful hello and the start of a conversation that made it clear that whatever treatment Kibum thought he'd gotten from Jonghyun was nothing out of the ordinary. _See?_ said the wet blanket part of his brain. _Told you not to be stupid about it_.

Despite, or perhaps specifically _to_ spite, its complacent tones, Kibum chose instead to nurse the warmth he'd felt when Jonghyun had smiled at him as he walked the rest of the way to work.

The commute on foot wasn't what one would consider entirely pleasant— an ever-evolving obstacle course of other morning commuters, construction scaffolding, and the occasional smack of heat from a passing car. What was nice about it, though, Kibum thought as he dodged between two men frowning into their phones, was that everyone else was too focused on their own treks to work to notice how insane he must look, smiling at nothing.

He wouldn't call it love at first sight; in all honesty he knew no more about Jonghyun than his name and place of employment, but he'd heard on a radio show once that a band of psychologists had determined that it takes four months for a crush to turn into love. It had sounded preposterous at the time, just as it did now, but he was coming up on four months since he'd first set eyes on Jonghyun, and his feelings showed no signs of abating.

It was, frankly, of heroic proportions that Kibum had managed to keep his visits to Blue Night down to just once a week, in the interest of not looking like a lunatic stalker. Were that not a barrier, he was almost certain he'd be there daily, ruining himself financially and physically on caramel macchiatos and googly-eyed mooning. But as it was, Thursdays _were_ his special treat day. Thursdays were the day he got to see Jonghyun.

Well aware of how mawkish he sounded, Kibum told his brain to shut up and carried on toward his own workplace, a luxury high-rise that speared into the sky and upon which glass surface countless birds had probably met their reflected deaths. Kibum slipped through the gilded revolving doors, waving his badge at the lone security guard idling near the elevator bank.

"Hello," Kibum said, and received a tacit nod.

He'd worked at his agency for well over a year now, administratively assisting, and it still struck him how odd it was that the business made its home here, tucked in among high-profile medical specialists, an embassy of a tiny country he'd only vaguely heard of, and a travel agency that somehow hadn't yet closed down. Compared to how staid the others were, Heartwood stood out like a sore thumb.

As far as dream job fulfillment went, Kibum had a long way to go. But he got a steady paycheck and a boss who, if slightly aloof, seemed to like him just fine and understood that administrative assistants were not synonymous with indentured servants. All in all, it balanced out all right.  

Kibum turned on the lights and settled in at the reception desk, adjusting the flower arrangement on the counter a half-inch to the left. His inbox greeted him with notifications of six new applications to vet; skimming over the first he could already tell this one was going to get a gentle but unwavering _We regret to inform you_ in response.

Heartwood's client list was essentially a who's who of Seoul's wealthiest singletons too busy, too inept, or otherwise too suspicious of the general populace to seek romance on their own; standard membership guaranteed discretion and results, as well as exclusivity that mandated stringent appraisal from the outset, to the tune of an annual fee of several million won.

It might have nettled him that these people had the equivalent of the cost of a mid-range car to wantonly toss around on a matchmaking agency, but it also paid his not unreasonable salary, so he supposed things could be worse – like the amount required for their premier level of membership, which was not advertised anywhere on the basis that if you had to ask, you couldn't afford it. Kibum himself had only found out about that membership tier’s existence a year into his job.

At precisely eight-thirty, his boss, and only other regular occupant of the office suite, swanned in. Today, just as every other day, Jun Hyunmoo reeked of expense and self-confidence. Dressed in a bespoke suit, he appeared at once personable and imperturbable.

"Good morning, Secretary Kim," said Hyunmoo.  

Kibum nodded, smiling. "Good morning, President Jun."

"What do we have on the docket today?" Hyunmoo asked, leaning one arm against the reception counter. With a critical squint, he shifted the vase slightly to the right, and then back again.

"Well," said Kibum, consulting the color-coded calendar on his screen, "there's that new intake first thing this morning, personal shopping with Director Lee from COEX–" The name failing to register in Hyunmoo's memory banks, Kibum added, "He's the one with the—" and gestured in the general direction of his head.

"Ah, yes, the shiny head. Of course. Go on," said Hyunmoo.

"There are a handful of new applicants in the system this morning; I'll have the relevant ones to you by lunchtime. And then at four, the initial meeting between Miss Joo Yeonyi and Mr. Kim Dongyoung."

Hyunmoo hummed a note of satisfaction. "Yes, they'll like each other."

The track record of Heartwood – and more specifically, Jun Hyunmoo, who personally machinated all the matches himself, was such that, near as Kibum could tell, at least eighty percent of the couplings made went on to develop into long-term relationships (as was modestly boasted on the company website in elegant font and endorsed by the sundry wedding invitations addressed to Hyunmoo). The man had more than a knack for it and required of his assistant not much more than the tedious business of putting the paperwork together; Kibum had no idea how he did it, but the stature the agency had come to hold with its target demographic spoke for itself.

It had started as a one-man operation, and when Kibum had come in a couple of years ago, it had been as a temp to manage the administrative overflow borne of a rush of success and celebrity from word of mouth of satisfied clients. Somehow it had turned into a permanent position, though for all the time he had spent here, Kibum still had very little clue as to what magic happened behind the closed doors to Hyunmoo's office, nor was he invited to find out. 

The rest of the morning ran in perfect step to the details of Kibum' appointment calendar, until the clock struck twelve, and a human-shaped storm cloud thundered in.

He had seen her once before, the CEO of the Jang Group, accompanying her twenty-something daughter to a previous meeting. Kibum had nearly been blinded by the scads of diamonds on every surface on which a diamond could be slapped on; she was difficult to forget. It was even more difficult now that she had stamped into the offices in something purple and no doubt designer that early Gaga would have deemed a little too much.

Kibum stood immediately, his hand edging towards the phone and one eye on speed dial 1 – building security; he didn't make a habit of calling in the uniforms on mothers of premier members, but her face, which must have funded her plastic surgeon's early retirement and was now tomato red and clashing with the rest of her, intimated a fervent wish for inflicting violence.

"CEO Jang," he said, which was the only thing she let him get out.

"Where is he? In there?" she demanded, stalking towards the closed double doors of Hyunmoo's office.

"Ma'am, President Jun is indisp—" It was worth a shot, though of course as useful as a wet noodle as CEO Jang carried on past him, flapping a curt, dismissive hand in his direction as if he was the most minor of nuisances. 

He scurried out of his seat, for all the good it would do, just in time to fail to prevent her from throwing Hyunmoo's doors open, with an imperious, "I want my money back. You didn't shoot him."

Kibum stopped in his tracks, certain he had grossly misheard something. He caught Hyunmoo's eye for a brief second, and in the next, Hyunmoo, unruffled, directed his placid gaze toward his accuser instead, and said, "Of course I shot him."

As if the first statement wasn't bizarre enough on its own, the corroboration on Hyunmoo's end sent Kibum's brain into temporary static, unable to fully register what either of them were saying. Hyunmoo took the opportunity of Kibum's statue stillness to rise from his chair and come to shut the doors so the conversation could continue in private. The conversation about shooting someone. Kibum stared at the smooth oak in front of him and blinked.

"It didn't take! Shoot him again," came CEO Jang's stentorian reply, closed doors notwithstanding.

Kibum's desk phone sounded, snapping him out of his stupor. He picked up the handset. "Yes, President?"

"Please bring in a pot of soothing herbal tea for our esteemed visitor," said his boss, as equanimous as ever, while in the background he heard CEO Jang's indignant refusal of any such thing.

Mixed in with the inkling that CEO Jang might whack a steaming cup of tea out of his hands was the mounting curiosity of what she was even here for. Kibum wasn't sure that getting boiling water splashed on his person would be worth finding out what her business was, but he didn't have much choice in the matter.

Kibum riffled through their tea caddy and found one with the word "calming" in the description, fixed a pot, and brought it in on a lacquer tray, along with matching porcelain cups. Heartwood was that sort of place, above the trendiest of cappuccino makers, nestled in with the idea that there was little classier than a well-brewed pot of tea.  

"My poor Eungyu is broken-hearted. Just devastated. You said this one would work," CEO Jang accused, mindless of Kibum's approach. She appeared to register neither his presence nor the tea set at the side of Hyunmoo's enormous desk, behind which Hyunmoo seemed wholly unmoved by her statement. "And this… this _heartless bastard_ that you promised her—"

"Well, if you have such a low opinion of him, isn't it better that things turned out this way?" Hyunmoo said. Without waiting for a reply, he addressed Kibum for the sole purpose of dismissing him. "Secretary Kim, why don't you take your lunch now? Make it a long one if you'd like."

Kibum nodded and retreated, no less bewildered than before. The last thing to be heard was CEO Jang once again referring to her daughter's shattered heart and that this was, somehow, most clearly, Hyunmoo's fault.

Mechanically, Kibum followed the indirect command; he picked up his lunch bag and walked out of the office, slow but familiar movements and an easy navigation route downstairs that required little cognitive capacity while the whir of his mind tried to work out what he'd overheard. An unsatisfied client was on their hands, that much was certain, but unsatisfied with what? Both Hyunmoo and CEO Jang had referenced a _shooting_ , and so overtly as well, as if it was a regular occurrence for them both. Ought he call the police? What would he even tell them?

Kibum registered his surroundings with a tiny jolt of surprise, not quite sure how he'd already ended up standing in front of a long wooden bench at the small park a few blocks away from his office building. Figuring he was already here, he sat, perching his lunch bag on his lap, vaguely listening to the snatches of a conversation passing by, in which one half of the contribution maundered over whether to take the plunge into rhinoplasty. So, not exactly scintillating fare _or_ an answer from the mysterious universe to his unuttered questions.

He unwrapped the egg sandwich he'd packed and bit off a corner, watching newly planted saplings sway with the light breeze that waltzed across the park. Surely, he thought as he chewed, a logical explanation was at hand. He'd be the first to admit he had never been the brightest of children, but given enough time he usually got to a solution in the end. Therefore, a perfectly simple explanation to whatever it was that had happened at the office must exist; he just hadn't come to it yet. He wished his brain would hurry up with it, though.

"Kim Kibum-ssi?"

His head snapping up to the sound of his name, Kibum nearly choked on a mouthful of sandwich. "Oh—ah, hi. Jonghyun. You, what—uh. What are you doing here?"

He wiped his mouth hastily, in part to brush away any stray crumbs that may have attached themselves to his face, but mostly to shut himself up. He could already feel in his throat a rabble of awkward non-sequiturs straining toward freedom. The object of his infatuation stumbling upon him in the wild was not something he'd prepared for; his single year of Scouts training had only taken him as far as basic first aid, making knots, and not wiping his bottom with poisonous plants.

Stranger things probably had happened, but Jonghyun seemed to find something in his manner to smile about. "I'm taking my break, actually," he said, hands lounging in the pockets of his half-zipped oversized sweatshirt. "I come for a quick walk most days. Do you usually eat lunch out here? I don't think I've seen you here before."

"Oh, sometimes," said Kibum. The steadiness of his voice was a prodigious surprise, as another, more fourteen-year-old part of him gleefully ferreted away the new information of Jonghyun's daily whereabouts and imagined multiple, soft lens filtered instances of accidentally running into him on purpose. "Not usually at this time, though. My boss decided I should have lunch a little earlier than usual today. Uh, do you want to sit?"

"I can't," said Jonghyun, glancing at his wristwatch, with a catch of what might have been regret in his voice, but could just as easily have been indigestion. "I have to get back to work soon."

"Yup, sure, of course," Kibum blathered and tried not to feel crushed.

"Hey, um," said Jonghyun, his lips thinning with slight hesitance. "If you don't mind coming by the coffee shop tomorrow, I have something for you."

Kibum felt himself perk up like a dog on the receiving end of a doorbell and hoped it had only happened inwardly. "What is it?"

"Ah, you'll just have to come and see," Jonghyun said. The effect, suitably lofty for its inscrutability, lasted only about a second. He amended, dialing down the enigmatic showman from before, "Well, not to overhype it. It's not a free car or anything. But I'll make it worth your while if you come. Coffee on me?"

The lack of visible recoil on Jonghyun's part told Kibum that the shriek of excitement he'd heard from himself had, thankfully, mercifully, occurred within the safe confines of his head.  "No, you don't have to do that," said the part of him that had somehow made it to reasonable adulthood, where haggling over small favors and who would pick up the dinner bill was a treasured pastime. "I'll come."

"Great," Jonghyun said, pleased, his smile widening. He took a step backwards, ready to set off. "Hey, enjoy the rest of your lunch. I'll see you tomorrow. And coffee's still on me."

"You really don't ha—"

"Nope," Jonghyun called over his shoulder as he turned and strode down the path. "I'm walking away and getting the last word. Free coffee tomorrow!"

Kibum laughed and said, "Bye." It came out a little breathlessly and he wasn't sure if Jonghyun had even heard, but it didn't matter much anyway. Not in the grand scheme of things where Jonghyun wanted him to come to Blue Night to give him something. That meant that Jonghyun had thought about him, outside of the times Kibum paid custom.

He had to stuff his mouth with the rest of his sandwich to make sure there was no room for the shrill giggle bubbling underneath. It escaped nevertheless, and Kibum laughed into his hands, all too aware of how insane he must look, for something as simple as a small, unknown gift, and powerless to stop the well of joy overflowing inside him even so.

It took a few minutes to tamp it down to manageable levels, to where he looked only _slightly_ deranged, breaking into a smile at odd intervals. Kibum took several deep breaths, then texted his friends about clearing their schedules later for Much Discussion, careful to leave out details so he could disseminate them in person and get the full effect of Taemin's reactions, which could always be counted on to be exactly what Kibum wanted to hear and to counteract whatever Minho said, which would be exactly what Kibum didn't want to hear.

Checking his phone for the time, Kibum calculated that he'd been out of the office for almost forty-five minutes, which was probably enough time for feathers to have been smoothed or for one of them to have killed the other. He didn't think it would have come to that, but then Hyunmoo apparently had a habit of shooting people.

In the short interaction with Jonghyun and Kibum's subsequent, small-scale mental breakdown, he had completely forgotten to fret about the Jang situation. And indeed, it seemed far less important now, in the face of his heretofore arid love life coming up, if not roses, then at least not a sea of tumbleweeds.

Reentering the Heartwood office in a state of mild bliss, Kibum was surprised to find CEO Jang gone and Hyunmoo at the kitchenette in what would have been the staff room if there were more than two of them there, rinsing out the teapot and cups.

"Oh, there you are," said Hyunmoo, on hearing Kibum's approaching footsteps. "Director Lee should be here soon; remember to show him Stefano Ricci from the catalogue I left on your desk. He would do well in that collection."

"Okay," said Kibum. He hovered in the doorway for a moment, vacillating on whether he might overstep his boundaries. Clients' business usually stayed that way. Kibum primarily scheduled appointments and handled paperwork and some accounting; beyond that, he was largely invisible in the process and, for the most part, he was fine with that. But, "What happened with CEO Jang?" 

"Hm?" said Hyunmoo, with a slight furrow to the brow, as if Kibum were referencing an incident a shade too far out of memory to recall easily. "Oh, nothing. It was a misunderstanding. Everything's fine now."

Kibum could have accepted it at face value and gone on with the rest of his life like a normal person. Could have, and probably should have, but didn't. "… Did you really shoot someone?"

As soon as he said it, Kibum's imagination flashed to a future in which Hyunmoo replied _yes and now I'm going to have to shoot you too_ , leading to a series of Jason Bourne-style escapades that Kibum would not survive beyond the first five minutes. Thankfully, Kibum's imagination, fed on a steady diet of bored evenings with his and Taemin's action movie collection, was unreliable and prone to theatrics and just plain wrong.

Hyunmoo lifted an amused eyebrow at him. "With my camera, yes." Taking in what must have been visible relief in Kibum's expression, he asked, "What were you imagining, all this while?"

Kibum's imagination scurried out of sight, embarrassed to have been a part of the conversation, which left Kibum holding the bag and saying, "…that you were in the mafia or something?" It sounded ludicrous as soon as the words left his mouth.

"These hands with a gun? No, no, no," said Hyunmoo, shaking a finger. "These hands, they create love. And they do not let Director Lee wear trousers with pleats anymore. Do you have the catalogue ready for him?"  

And just like that, it was a regular work day again. Except for the part where one of his fantasies came true during his lunch break. Well, only partially; Kibum's fantasies tended to be more extensive than an accidental meeting and also maybe a tad not appropriate for audiences under nineteen.

Reliving the moment carried him through the rest of the day. He thought about Jonghyun's smile while Director Lee dithered over losing his favorite slacks; he recalled with a heated blush the way Jonghyun had hesitated before asking him to come by tomorrow while the four o'clock clients met in Hyunmoo's office; he imagined one scenario after another of what it was that Jonghyun wanted to give him. His phone number… free coffee for life… a bouquet of flowers… his undying love and affection… which might be a bit much at this point in their acquaintance, but the thought of it still gave Kibum a flood of warmth in his belly that kept him company all the way home.

Back at the two-bedroom apartment he shared with Taemin, friends since childhood and jointly staunch opposers of the idea that you should never live with your friends, Kibum slung his bag into his room, where it bounced onto his bed, followed soon after by his own person, impatient for Taemin and Minho to show up so they could discuss his day in minute detail.  

They had been there at the beginnings and ends of two semi-major relationships (and he for theirs, both serious and non), as well as innumerable gossips about any good-looking person they happened to pass by. It was only tradition that he'd talk their ears off about this one, too.

Just as he was about to text them with a series of increasingly shouty messages, he heard the turn of the key in the front door's lock, and scurried over to greet and harass whichever one of them it was, in no particular order.

"Finally!" said Kibum, noting with surprise and gratification that his friends had managed to coordinate their timing so that they'd turned up together. It saved him the trouble of having to tell his story twice.

Minho stepped in first, weighed down by plastic bags of chicken and beer. Behind him, Kibum could see Taemin had already started on a can of Hite but was otherwise hands-free.

"Why," Minho complained loudly as he handed off one of the bags to Kibum, "am I always the one buying and carrying everything?"

"Because you're so nice, hyung, and we love you," said Taemin. This was accompanied by a beatific smile, which had the dual effect of mollifying Minho and letting Taemin continue to get away with not lifting a finger.

Kibum put the bag on the table and took out the boxes of fried chicken. "Yes, you're the best and so forth," he said, with as much color as he would have read out an instruction manual. "So great."

"Wow, that was… I was almost blinded by your sincerity," said Minho flatly. "I'm so touched."

"I _said_ a nice thing. _And_ I'm helping," Kibum shot back, gesturing to all the two things he was setting on the table. He pointed a finger at Taemin. "He's the one whose sincerity you should be questioning."

With a drumstick already halfway to his mouth, Taemin looked up in mild confusion, having lost the thread of the conversation. "Hm?" Awareness that he ought to contribute something visibly dawned on his face, and he said, "So… what's your big news?"

Forgetting immediately his attempt to throw Taemin under the bus, Kibum felt his chest swell with excitement. "Remember that Blue Night place I was telling you about? And the cute barista?"

"Yeah, Jonghyun, right?" said Taemin.

"How can we forget? You won't stop talking about him," said Minho.

"Well," Kibum continued, too delighted in the recollection to shoot Minho the dirty look he deserved, "today I ran into him during my lunch break, and he—"

Taemin held up both hands, one with a clean chicken bone in it, waving for Kibum to stop. "Wait, wait, wait. Start at the beginning. Didn't you see him this morning when you went for your coffee? And why haven't you taken a picture of him yet like I asked you to?"

"It's harder than you'd think!" Kibum said. And not for lack of wanting to; besides being able to show off how handsome Jonghyun was to his friends, Kibum would have greatly enjoyed having a picture to sigh over dreamily in the privacy of his own home. "How do you secretly take a picture of someone while ordering coffee? It would look so obvious."

Minho made a scoffing noise. "It's easy. I'll show you. I'm getting coffee, okay?" He got up and mimed standing in line, the dining table his make-believe shop counter, then looking around and nodding appreciatively like he was impressed with the décor. Making an "ah!" sound that practically sprung a lightbulb into existence over his head, Minho pulled his phone out from his back pocket and turned himself around, lifting his phone to take a selca. The camera clicked. "There, see?" he said as he showed Kibum the photo of half his face and Taemin clearly in the background, wiping his fingers.

Taemin gave him a round of applause. "You should be an actor, hyung."

"Yeah, you can play exclusively lunatics," said Kibum. "You looked like an idiot."

"It still worked," said Minho, waving his phone as proof.

"Anyway," said Kibum, "yes, I did see him in the morning. And he said that it was always good to see me."

"Oooh," Taemin intoned. "I like the sound of this. What did you say?"

Kibum waved a hand. "I don't know, I don't remember. I think my brain sort of stopped working when he said that. I mean, I managed not to drop my coffee and giggle like a schoolgirl in front of him; isn't that enough?"

Minho shook his head with a chuckle. "You're so useless."

"He definitely likes you," Taemin interjected, which was why Taemin was his best and most important friend in the whole world.

"I ordered my usual, you know, a caramel macchiato with an extra caramel sauce and extra whipped cream," Kibum went on, well aware how painfully self-involved he sounded but grateful that the other two were letting him chatter on about the minutiae of his weekly coffee run, "except I didn't even get a chance to finish because he already knew my order and he said he would name it after me and call it the Kim Kibum Special."

Taemin nodded sagely. "He _definitely_ likes you."

Minho said nothing, not quite as ready to cast his vote.

"And then he smiled this brilliant smile at me…" Kibum said, losing himself a little in the image. "You know how sometimes after it rains and then suddenly the clouds part and the sunshine bursts through—"

A loud sigh emanated from Minho's section of the table. He took a long, pointed swig of his beer.

"Anyway, it was nice," Kibum finished neatly, in the interest of his bodily well-being. "Then, while I was on my lunch break later—Oh! Remind me to tell you about what happened at work too. But I was on my lunch break; I went to one of the parks nearby and all of a sudden he was there, calling my name."

Taemin leaned forward, excited. "No way."

"And he said hello, and I said hello," said Kibum, "and we chatted a little bit about what we were both doing there – he takes a walk there sometimes on his break."

"Now you know when to time your lunch breaks," Taemin broke in.

Kibum inclined his head in agreement. "But that's not even the best part." He dropped his voice to a hushed, reverent tone. "He asked me to come to the coffee shop tomorrow because he has something he wants to give me." Here, he grinned, so hard the top half of his head was liable to fall off.

While Taemin grinned right back, Minho cocked his head with a curious look. "What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know! He wouldn't tell me," said Kibum. "But he also promised he would give me free coffee, to get me to come. That has to mean something, right?"

Minho nodded. "Sounds promising."

"Really?" said Kibum. He was used to Taemin backing him up on whatever flights of fancy he indulged in, but if even Minho, usually the most judicious of the three of them, was on board, that meant it probably wasn't just some wild imagining on his part.

"What could it be?" Taemin mused, eyebrows knotting together. "His phone number? No, but he could have given it to you today if he wanted, both times he saw you. Chocolates? For White Day?"

"White Day was over two months ago," said Minho with a frown.

"Yeah, but they didn't know each other that well two months ago. Maybe he's making up for lost time," Taemin suggested.

"They don't know each other that well _now_ ," Minho pointed out.

Ignoring his relentless logic, Taemin turned to Kibum and said, "I think it's chocolates. Because he's been secretly in love with you this whole time. For sure."

"You're crazy," Kibum laughed, though it ended in a sigh. "I can't think of what it could be. And I don't want to get my hopes up…"

It was obviously a little too late for that, but he felt as if it needed to be said anyway, perhaps to trick the universe into not screwing him over, if it happened to be eavesdropping and in a havoc-wreaking mood, as it so often seemed to be. Like the time he'd said _I love you_ to someone who'd turned around a week later and broken up with him on his birthday; Kibum was pretty sure someone upstairs had had a great laugh that day at his expense. If further such humiliations could be avoided, he'd like that very much.

Taemin sipped his beer, thinking. At length, he surfaced from the depths of his thoughts with, "Maybe he wants to give you a petition to sign. Like… to stop redevelopment near the coffee shop. What? You said you didn't want to get your hopes up. I'm helping you to bring them down. But I bet you've already imagined him sweeping in with a helicopter and whisking you away to his private beach resort or something."

"He works in a coffee shop; he's not going to own a private beach resort," Kibum retorted. Besides, he was supposed to be whisked away to Paris. Kibum swatted the thought away, and doubled down on the pragmatism he was supposed to exude. "Anyway, it's probably nothing important, right?"

Minho nodded.

"Yes," Taemin agreed, taking his lead.

"Yes," Kibum said firmly to his fluttering feelings. "Not important."


	2. Chapter 2

Worst case scenario, Kibum thought for what must have been at least the twelfth time since he'd awoken, jittery, that morning, was that even if this turned out to be something completely disappointing and outside the realm of everything that had passed through his head, he would at least have gotten a free cup of coffee out of it.

Kibum steeled himself for a letdown just outside Blue Night's door. His resolve lasted for all of two seconds as he walked in, drawn at once to Jonghyun's presence behind the counter, and Jonghyun, in the midst of serving another customer, beamed and waved as soon as he noticed Kibum come in. Kibum waved back while the pragmatic part of his brain huffed and attempted to rebuild its crumbled defenses.

Stepping behind Jonghyun's customer, Kibum pressed his lips together, trying his level best to look casual. Ridiculous nervousness burbled in his gut, anticipating something he could hardly even put a picture to. _Just a cup of coffee, just a cup of coffee_ , he chanted in his head.

The customer in front of him moved away, giving Kibum a full-on view of Jonghyun's smiling face. "Hi," Kibum said.

"You came!" Jonghyun cheered.

"Well, you asked so nicely," said Kibum. He rested his hands on the counter, but they looked weird there, so he removed them and twisted his fingers together instead. Suave would not be the first word to come to mind. "How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good. Really good. Thanks for coming," said Jonghyun. He pulled a waiting coffee cup from the side of a counter and presented it with a flourish of the wrist. "First things first, your reward."

Kibum received the macchiato with too-eager thanks and what he was sure was a pink stain on his cheeks. He felt as though he'd been plunged right back into adolescence, anxious and awkward and blushing for no other reason than that he was talking to a cute guy who didn't seem to find him objectionable. Surely he should have outgrown this by now, ensconced firmly in his mid-twenties, but no such luck.

"It's still hot, don't worry. I just made it a few minutes ago since you usually come around this time."

"Thank you," said Kibum again, feeling a little breathless.

"Well, now that you have your coffee, hopefully even if you find this next thing really stupid, you at least have free coffee," said Jonghyun. He bit his bottom lip, adorably. But in Kibum's estimation, Jonghyun probably blew his nose and flossed his teeth adorably, too; his gauge might be biased.

Not for the first time, Kibum was thankful that the fancies flitting through his head were accessible to him alone. "I told my friends about this," Kibum began, and the interested light in Jonghyun's eyes made him continue. "They thought you might have just wanted me to come and sign a petition for you." It had sounded more than silly when Taemin had said it, and so did it now, but it was too late. He ended with a weak, "So the bar is pretty low."

"Oh no," said Jonghyun, "this is worse than that." He drew a brightly printed postcard out from behind the counter and handed it to Kibum, who had apparently made blushing contagious. "I wanted to give this to you when you came yesterday, but there were so many customers behind you I couldn't do it."

"An art show?" Kibum said, studying the postcard.

"My art show," Jonghyun said, with a hopeful and mildly embarrassed smile. "It's at the Aurora Gallery. Do you know it? It's in Cheongdam-dong. Anyway, I was hoping you would like to come?"

So it wasn't a helicopter ride and the Eiffel Tower at sunset wasn't in his near future, but a buoyant feeling nevertheless filled Kibum from top to toe. It was a step forward. Before this moment, all he knew about Jonghyun was that his name was Jonghyun and he sold coffee. Now, he could boast two whole new snippets of information – one, that Jonghyun was an artist, and two, that he was inviting Kibum to come and see his art. Progress was progress, and this particular progress was making Kibum feel as light as air. Who needed a helicopter?

"I mean," Jonghyun said uncertainly, "I know it's really short notice and you probably have plans already…"

Indeed, Kibum had been planning to spend his Friday evening with a pot of ramyeon and whatever happened to be on TV, but he supposed it could wait. "No," said Kibum, "I would love to come."

Kibum would have said it a thousand more times to get that same pleased smile out of Jonghyun, and was forced to wrangle his own face into an expression a little less besotted at the sight of it. He settled for a dopey grin.

"Great," Jonghyun enthused. "Bring your friends too, if they want. Oh, uh—" He glanced behind Kibum, where two customers had just walked in. "Hang on, just…" He grabbed a small paper box, stuck a croissant in from the display case, and handed it to Kibum. "On the house."

Though he was more than happy to accept it, Kibum said, "I'm already coming to your show. You don't have to bribe me anymore."

"No," said Jonghyun. "That one's for being my favorite customer." He smiled again, then glanced down at the counter, like he couldn't believe he'd said it.

Kibum could have died right then. He resisted it, and took his jelly-weak knees to the side so that Jonghyun's non-favorite customers could get their full retail price pastries and coffee. "See you tomorrow," Kibum said, basking in his last moment in the sun.

 "Looking forward to it," Jonghyun said, grinning, before turning his attention to the next customer approaching the counter and greeting her by name.

On the pretext of picking up a few napkins at the island off to the side of the main counter, Kibum listened to the woman greet Jonghyun in return with familiarity and get the same amount of friendliness back. But, to Kibum's gratification and some small portion of smug pettiness that he wasn't particularly proud to lay claim to, Jonghyun didn't offer her a postcard for his show. Kibum stuffed a handful of napkins into his bag and looked back to give Jonghyun a wave goodbye, receiving a wink in return.

Glorying in flushed success, the rest of the day could have involved an alien invasion and Kibum wouldn't have noticed.

 

***

 

"Come on," Taemin wheedled, sticking his head into Kibum's bedroom. "You're pretty enough as it is. You don't want to be late for Jonghyun's show, do you?"

Kibum stared at himself in the full-length mirror in the corner of his room. It wasn't fair that Taemin could just throw on any old thing and look fabulous while Kibum had tried on his twelfth outfit so far and looked terrible in every single one of them. He used to think his clothes were fine, sometimes even fashionable, but now he could see they were nothing but unsightly rags not fit for wearing out in public.

"I have nothing to wear," he said morosely to the mirror. Then, to Taemin, and in a frantic tone he couldn't keep down, "I have nothing to wear! Everything I own is an atrocity against civilization and I can't go outside in any of this."

Taemin left. A few seconds later, he came back in with a scented candle and lighter. He lit the candle and, with his hands, urgently wafted its aroma towards Kibum's face. "There's jasmine in this," he said, then lifted it up to check the label. "Yes, jasmine. It's calming. Calm down."

Whether Taemin's bewildering faith in instant aromatherapy was enough in itself to snap Kibum out of his spiral or instant aromatherapy was actually a thing, something worked. Kibum's dizzy panic dissipated. "Help," he said in a tiny voice.

"You look good," said Taemin. "Wear that."

Kibum inspected his reflection, frowning. "I don't want to look good. I want to look _amazing_. I want Jonghyun to fall to his knees at the sight of me. I don't think this pair of jeans will do that. These jeans don't make you want to propose marriage, do they?"

Seeing that Kibum was actually expecting an answer, Taemin shrugged helplessly.

"How about those?" Kibum said, pointing to another pair of pants he'd previously relegated to what he had christened the _garbage pile_ on the bed.

Taemin picked through the pile with a desultory hand and came up with a grey blazer that he threw at Kibum. "Put that one on. See? You look good." Preempting Kibum's protestations at looking good not being good enough, Taemin grabbed him by the elbows and steered him out of the room. "Hyung, he's seen you every Thursday for the last three months in all your boring work clothes and he still likes you. You don't have to worry."

"Oh," said Kibum, surprised.

He patted Taemin on the shoulder in thanks. Minho couldn't come, but if he'd had, he would probably have just slapped Kibum back into sensibility. It would have been faster, but Kibum appreciated Taemin's methods better. They didn't leave a mark.

Also to be appreciated was Taemin keeping up a steady stream of conversation about anything he could think of during their subway ride so Kibum couldn't talk himself into a cut and run. Before he knew it, they had arrived at the gallery, where, through large glass windows, they could see a sizeable crowd gathered amidst a wide collection of artwork.

"Oh, he seems popular," Taemin observed. "Let's go in."

He didn't bother waiting for Kibum to agree, so Kibum had no time to check his reflection one last time in the glass. He followed Taemin in and was greeted by one of the event staff, who gave him an informational sheet about the artwork and the artist. Jonghyun's picture took up a small corner of the paper, and Kibum felt, inexplicably, a rush of pride for him.

As he and Taemin walked around, the feeling did not abate. Perhaps it was his natural bias, given that he was infatuated with Jonghyun, but the art was truly stunning. There was a mix of portraits and landscapes, but each of them had a signature bright, bold style that Kibum couldn't help but smile at.

Taemin tapped his arm. "I know that woman over there," he said, pointing out a patron in a green dress. "She's taken a couple of my dance classes. I should go and say hello."

Left to his own devices, Kibum wandered the gallery, stopping at each piece of artwork to give it its due admiration. The featured pieces continued through a doorway to an adjacent room, through which Kibum spied, with a quickening heartbeat, Jonghyun talking animatedly to two middle-aged men.

Kibum approached the doorway slowly, unsure what the protocol was, and managed to hear Jonghyun say, as he gestured to someone just out of Kibum's line of sight, "And let me introduce you to this very special girl, the love of my life."

His heart sank like a stone, its weight pressing his feet to the floor.

It was, of course, the perfect time for Jonghyun to spot him. Jonghyun waved, a big smile on his face. He motioned Kibum over, to which Kibum had no alternative except running away or insisting on staying right where he was, both of which would make him seem socially insane.

Plastering a weak smile on his face, Kibum slogged forward and greeted Jonghyun, suffering through a quick and forgettable introduction with the other two men Jonghyun had been talking to.

"I'm really happy you came," Jonghyun said, touching Kibum's shoulder. "I was just telling these guests here about the piece I'm most proud of, my one true love."

Reluctantly and steeling himself for the worst, Kibum followed the direction of Jonghyun's gesture to a beautifully textured acrylic painting.

"My dog, Byulroo," said Jonghyun. "Isn't she adorable?"

It was a struggle to bite down both a laugh of relief and the urge to self-flagellate for jumping to unnecessary conclusions, but Kibum managed it in the end. "Yes, she's lovely," he said, meaning it. "She looks so sweet. It must be nice to come home to that cute little face every day."

Taking the compliment as if it were for himself, Jonghyun beamed.

More forgettable pleasantries with the other two guests followed, but this time Kibum's concentration was shot because Jonghyun's hand was still on his shoulder and showed no intention of leaving. It seemed to burn right through to his skin, spreading a heady warmth all through his body.

Eventually, and possibly because Kibum had finally mastered mind control, the other two guests left took their leave. This had the unfortunate side effect of Jonghyun removing his hand from Kibum's shoulder, but the prolonged physical contact had already been more than what he got on a regular weekly basis at Blue Night, so Kibum supposed he couldn't complain.

"There are so many people here," said Kibum, noting the growing crowd. "You must be pleased."

Jonghyun nodded. "Yeah, but it's my first show, so it's also really nerve-wracking. What if everybody hates my work?"

"Impossible," said Kibum.

"That couple over there," Jonghyun said in a low voice, pointing out a man and a woman talking to each other and gesturing at one of the paintings. "They might be saying how ugly that picture is right now. _Honey, look at this dismal use of light. And the brush strokes, like a toddler's._ "

Kibum couldn't help but laugh, even knowing Jonghyun was only half-joking. So he played along, rewriting Jonghyun's scene. "No, no, you're really bad at lip reading. Look at how gently she's talking. She's saying," he said, and adjusted his voice to a sweeter register, " _Honey, this painting reminds me of you. So tender, so delicate. Like on our first date._ "

Dropping an octave to impersonate the man in question, Jonghyun said, " _Yes, when I read my private poetry journal to you._ "

Kibum stifled a laugh at the unexpected turn Jonghyun had taken, but kept up their game. " _Remind me of your favorite one again?_ " He paused, but the woman was still talking, so he had no choice but to continue. He did have a choice for how cheeky he wanted to be, and he went in the obvious direction. " _Was it the one about how much rainbows speak to the depths of your soul?_ "

The look on Jonghyun's face suggested both reluctance and amusement, but he picked up Kibum's challenge anyway. " _Yes, of course_ ," he said. He surreptitiously took on the same pose the man was positioned in, and narrated in a serious tone, as if reciting a poem, throwing a glance over every so often to see when he should stop, " _Rainbow. My dear rainbow. Every color of my feelings. So majestic in the sky._ " Trying not to laugh at his own terrible poem, a snort came out instead, and Jonghyun carried on, making it even worse. " _But like an upside-down smile, it cries for me._ "

The woman nodded and smiled, giving Kibum the easy route of, " _Yes, I remember that poem well. That was when I first fell in love with you._ "

" _Ah,_ " said Jonghyun in his put-on deep voice, " _but I fell in love the moment I saw you_."

To their shared surprise, the woman ducked her head and laughed shyly into her hand at the exact moment Jonghyun finished his sentence. Reflex, one or both of theirs, made Kibum and Jonghyun clutch each other's hands in delight. They watched, fingers tangled, as the couple moved out of sight. Kibum tried not to think about it too much, or the fact that Jonghyun had a silly streak, which only made him more attractive.

With a laugh, Kibum said, "Here I thought you were just a talented artist, but you have a real future in poetry too."

Jonghyun's eyes crinkled with his smile. "At least I have something to fall back on now."

Though Kibum could have easily gotten lost in that look, he was dimly aware of other eyes on him, and a quick visual sweep of his surroundings told him that there were other guests trying to approach. He should have expected it; after all, many of the visitors would naturally want to meet the artist, and here he had been monopolizing Jonghyun's time with an inane game when Jonghyun could have been doing some serious networking.

Apologetic, Kibum said, "Look at all these people trying to talk to you. I've taken up too much of your time already. I should go."

"No, don't," Jonghyun said at once. "I mean, not for that reason. Only go if you want to."

"I'm getting in the way…" Kibum said uncertainly. "There are probably a lot of important people here that you should meet."

Jonghyun hesitated. "Actually, I… I've been so nervous all day, and having you here really calmed me down somehow. Do you mind staying? Even just… five or ten more minutes? Sometimes it's difficult for me to talk to a lot of different people."

"Of course. I'm happy to stay," Kibum said, and was rewarded with another sweet smile.

The fondness in Jonghyun's face was replaced by something a little brighter and a little more public as he waved to one of the guests who had been standing on the periphery, seemingly waiting to get his attention. Invitation enough, she stepped forward to say hello, and Jonghyun's hand went to the small of Kibum's back, like his own personal grounding rod, as he introduced himself and "my friend, Kibum."

  He took Jonghyun's lead whenever it was given, either keeping quiet or interspersing his own comments into the conversation, most of which were to contradict Jonghyun whenever he made a self-deprecating remark about his own talent. And for the duration, Jonghyun kept a physical link between them, whether it was a hand on Kibum's arm or even just holding on to his sleeve.

Presently, Kibum noticed Taemin observing from his rounds along the perimeter, and when he caught Kibum's eye from halfway across the room, lifted his chin towards Jonghyun in inquiry. " _Is that him?_ " Taemin mouthed.

Kibum gave him a short nod to indicate that, yes, that was indeed his Jonghyun.

Taemin made a show of looking Jonghyun up and down, then gave Kibum a giant double thumbs-up, along with an equally enormous nod of lascivious approval. He was probably conspicuous from space. " _Oh yeah_ ," the shape of his mouth said.

If there weren't a room full of witnesses, Kibum might have murdered him right then. With a glare and the beginnings of a scowl, Kibum strained to communicate that Taemin should stop it right now or face the most painful and dire of consequences.

His face now overflowing with innocence, Taemin made the universal gesture for " _What did I do?_ " and then bounced right back into teasing him by throwing fingerheart after fingerheart at him, his hips getting well into the action. Passersby were starting to give him weird looks.

Kibum prayed for strength. Strength enough to throttle Taemin once he had a chance.

"Kibum-ssi," said Jonghyun suddenly. "Is that one of your friends?" He gave Taemin a tentative wave, and Taemin, completely devoid of shame for any of his previous antics, simply returned the gesture with a quick smile and bow.

"That embarrassment to society?" said Kibum. "No, I've never met him in my life."

Despite Kibum disowning him, Taemin took Jonghyun's wave as a request to come over and officially greet him. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Lee Taemin, Kibum's friend," said Taemin, whose ability to masquerade as a normal human being on occasion was truly awe-inspiring. And then again, he'd go and shatter the illusion with things like, "Kibum-hyung talks about you all the time. It's good to finally have a face to match the stories."

If a black hole opened up beneath his feet and swallowed Kibum whole it wouldn't be fast enough an end. "Excuse me, who are you?" said Kibum through gritted teeth. "Have we met before?"

Despite Kibum turning every shade of red imaginable and wishing for the sweet release of spontaneous combustion, Jonghyun seemed to find the entire thing, inexplicably, charming. "This is what friends are for, isn't it?" he said. "To embarrass you in public?"

Taemin agreed wholeheartedly. "I try my best."

"Don't worry," Jonghyun said in a softer voice to Kibum. "If I had friends here they would be telling you how much I always look forward to Thursdays."

While Taemin bit down a grin and looked away, Kibum didn't even try. His face would hurt like hell later for how big his smile was. His heart already felt too big for his chest. This happiness was so painful and so brilliant, he didn't know what to do with himself.

Digging deeper the grave that Kibum mentally swore to personally throw him into, Taemin said, "Well, now you're both embarrassing yourselves, so I think my work here is done."

"Seriously, who are you?" Kibum demanded. "Why do you keep talking to me?"

Jonghyun laughed into his hand, turning a bit pink himself. "Oh," he said suddenly, as he caught the eye of someone across the room. "It's the gallery owner."

Kibum turned to see a well put-together, middle-aged woman beckoning Jonghyun over with a smile, and understood implicitly that playtime with Jonghyun was over. Seeing Jonghyun hesitate, Kibum said, "Must be important. You should go. Taemin and I can take care of ourselves."

Nodding, Jonghyun took one step away and then came back again. He politely gestured to the gallery owner to wait a second, then said to Kibum, "I can't believe I was about to walk away without giving you my phone number. Phone, please." He held his hand out expectantly.

Obediently, Kibum surrendered his phone so Jonghyun could tap his information into the contacts list. When it was returned, Kibum said, "I'll text you later so you have my number too."

With one last smile over his shoulder, Jonghyun left and went to talk to the gallery owner, who steered him somewhere else. In his immediate absence, Kibum felt the last half hour catch up and overwhelm him. He gripped Taemin's shoulder for support, not sure his own legs could handle the job.

"That all happened, right? You were there," Kibum said. "He gave me his phone number, right? I didn't hallucinate that?"

"Don't make a scene," Taemin said calmly.

Indignation gave Kibum the strength to stand on his own. "I wasn't the one gyrating in the middle of the room throwing fingerhearts," he volleyed.

"Oh, you think people saw that?"

"I think there's probably video of it online right now."

Though Taemin's interest seemed piqued by this, he said instead, "Now that you have his number and I have helpfully determined that he's good enough for you, can we go? It's so stuffy in here. Look at all these people with their buttoned-up shirts drinking white wine and talking about the price of gold."

Kibum chuckled as they made their way to the exit. "People who talk about the price of gold are the kind of people who can pay a lot of money for art. If that means my Jonghyun gets lots of sales, then I'm all for it. I just want him to be happy."

Taemin frowned. "You're disgusting when you have a crush."

Kibum didn't disagree. He felt fizzy inside. Once they were a safe distance away from the gallery and he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of Jonghyun, Kibum bounced up and down on his feet, overloaded with energy. "Taeminnie!" he hollered. "I like him so much!"

"Okay, now you're definitely making a scene."  

He stroked Taemin's head like he would with a small child. "One day you'll understand."

"Get your hands off me," Taemin laughed.

They pushed each other all the way to the subway station, and when they got on the train, sat with their arms pressed next to each other in the kind of silence that falls after a fully satisfying day, words unnecessary.

When they got home, Kibum fell into bed with his phone, immediately composing a text to Jonghyun. _Hello, this is Kibum_ , he typed. _It's late so I'll just say good night_. He attached a sweet smiley face at the end of it and sent it off before he could overthink the whole thing and reduce himself to a curled-up ball of indecision.

Not particularly expecting a response given that Jonghyun had had a long and important day, it was a pleasant surprise to hear his phone chime with a text notification. _Good night, Kibum_ , it said, with a smile.

Kibum gazed at the message for who knew how long, his thumb instinctively tapping the screen whenever it tried to fade to black. Battery life be damned, he needed to sigh dreamily over those scant but beautiful words that gave his heart a little flutter each time he read them.

Rolling over, Kibum mashed his face into his pillow, fighting the urge to giggle. His life was perfect.

 

***

 

A chime from his phone jerked Kibum awake, snatching him out of the warm embrace of what he was sure had been a dream about Jonghyun. Kibum groaned unhappily, pushing hair off his forehead, and squinted at his phone. The time display noted that it was midmorning and well within the range of acceptable time periods for text messaging.

Daylight had been making itself comfortable in his bedroom for quite a while, from the looks of it, corroborating the clock's story.

Giving in, Kibum opened the text and felt a sleepy smile form on his face.

_Good morning, Kibum!_ it said.

Before he could toss off a reply, another text came in. This one, a photo. _It's me, Roo!_ said the picture of what appeared to be Jonghyun's little dog nosing at the camera. It was almost too adorable to handle for someone who had only just woken up.

_Hello, Roo_ , Kibum typed, hiding a smile in his pillow even though no one was there to see it. _You are very cute_.

He got a bashful emoji in response, and then a text, ostensibly, from Jonghyun which said, _Don't, you'll give her a big head_.

_Considering_ , Kibum texted back, _you painted her portrait and made her the star of your art show, I think it might be too late. You have no one to blame but yourself_.  

A half-second after he sent it, Kibum wondered if he'd come across much too salty and ran through his options for emojis that might soften the blow, but before he could even begin to narrow down his choices, his phone trilled with an incoming call. It was Jonghyun.

"How can you say this is my fault?" Jonghyun said as soon as Kibum picked up and said hello. "I only draw what I see. You're the one telling her she's pretty."

Kibum was not used to a universe in which Jonghyun not only knew his phone number, called him, and nagged at him for being too nice to his dog, but also started conversations as if they were already in the middle of a longstanding one. He could get used to it. "Are you saying you tell her she's not? Oh," Kibum said, with the tonal equivalent of a finger wag, "you're a mean dad."

"I'm just trying to teach her that looks aren't everything," said Jonghyun. "One day she'll get old and fat and her hair will fall out, then where will she be?"

"Just let her live her happy doggy life," said Kibum. "You worry too much."

Jonghyun sighed. "I know." He paused. "Did I wake you up?"

"… No," said Kibum.

"Don't lie," Jonghyun laughed.

"Okay, yes," said Kibum. He stretched hard, feeling it all the way from fingertip to toe, then settled back into bed, feeling more comfortable than ever. "And I was having such a nice dream too. You should make it up to me somehow."

"What do you want?"

"Hm…" said Kibum. As lazy and sleepy as he was feeling, even he was aware enough that, despite the blank check given him, what he really wanted from Jonghyun was definitely not the thing he should say. He went with a safe bet. "Another free cup of coffee?"

Jonghyun laughed again. "You're not very good at extortion, you know."

"Oh, what should I ask for, then?"

"A meal, at the very least," Jonghyun said firmly. "Or two, since I was actually going to say that I'm taking you and Taemin out to dinner to thank you for coming to my show."

"Are you doing this for everyone who showed up? That sounds expensive," said Kibum while he reveled internally about the fact that Jonghyun had already been making plans to see him again.

"No, because not everyone helped me get through the night with my sanity intact," said Jonghyun. "That was only you, and by extension, Taemin, so you get dinner. And you can't say no because that would bruise my sensitive artist feelings, and the pain would be too much to bear, so that it would prematurely end my promising art career."

Kibum set his phone down on the bed and put it on speaker so that he could appropriately slow clap Jonghyun's wily little guilt trip. "Wow," he said. "You really go straight in for the kill."

"I'm just thinking of you. You wouldn't want something like that on your conscience, right?" Jonghyun said airily.

"On the other hand," Kibum said, "some of the world's greatest art has been created by people who were experiencing deep suffering at the time. Van Gogh, Jackson Pollock… maybe Kim Jonghyun."

An affronted sound sputtered out of the phone. "Are you saying you want me to suffer?"

"Of course not," Kibum said easily. "That's why I'm accepting your terms for blackmail. I'm sure Taemin will be glad to hear he is being blackmailed too. He likes to be included."

"I prefer to think of it as a generous offer on my part," Jonghyun sniffed. His tone softened out of their fictitious argument as he asked, "When are you usually free?"

"Most evenings, I think," said Kibum.

"Okay," said Jonghyun. "I'm busy this week because my father is visiting and I have to prove to him I'm not living like a poor, malnourished student, but how about sometime next week? Maybe next weekend?"

Kibum smiled, even though Jonghyun wouldn't see it. "That sounds good."

"I'll text you later in the week, then, to confirm the plans," said Jonghyun.

"Okay," said Kibum. It wasn't a date, obviously, but it almost felt like they were planning one. He was nearly certain that if Taemin dropped out at the last minute complaining of an illness, Jonghyun wouldn't much mind. After all, it wasn't Taemin he was calling up to talk about puppies and extortion.

A brief silence fell between them. Kibum nestled deeper under his blanket, not particularly finding the quiet unnerving; it felt comfortable instead, the way it did with his friends on a languid morning when no one was quite alert yet to get into extended conversation but still wanting company.

"Roo, come here. Don't run away from me, I want to hug you," said Jonghyun's faraway voice, probably having moved the phone a little away from his face while talking to his dog. When it came back at regular volume, he said, "I have a question. Serious, serious question."

"Uh huh," said Kibum skeptically, hearing Jonghyun's very non-serious intonation.

"Why Thursdays?"

"Oh, uh," said Kibum, not sure whether he wanted to divulge that information. The truth was a little… it might come across slightly creepy? "Well…" He cleared his throat lightly. "That is, uh…"

"You know, the longer you hedge, the worse things I'll be thinking," Jonghyun said in a singsong voice that suggested he'd already guessed Kibum's motivations but wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth and possibly also make fun of the horse immediately afterwards. "So you might as well just tell me."

Latching on to the opportunity for extra time to spin a better story, Kibum said, suspiciously, "What are you thinking?"

"Right now? That it's something embarrassing but potentially still cute. In another minute I'll be thinking that Thursday coffee is part of some strange cult ritual you go through every week, and after that, probably that you murdered your mortal enemy on a Thursday and have been celebrating getting away with it since then with a weekly caramel macchiato. So, which one is it?"

Kibum raised an unseen eyebrow at the rate of escalation. "…Do you watch a lot of crime shows?"

"Roo likes them," Jonghyun said, like it couldn't be helped. "She has a very dark mind. Sometimes I worry about her."

"She's your excuse for a lot of things, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she comes in handy a lot," Jonghyun said easily. "I think it's only fair. I feed her and bathe her and put a roof over her tiny head; the least she can do for me is make me seem less weird than I really am."

"I don't think it's working that well," said Kibum. "I still think you're really weird."

"But you're still talking to me, so what does that make you?"

Kibum laughed. "You think I've maybe murdered someone and _you're_ still talking to me, so I wouldn't throw stones if I were you," he pointed out. "You're still the weird one."

"And you're still avoiding my question!"

"Okay, okay," said Kibum, sufficiently loosened up with the knowledge that on the scale of weirdness, he and Jonghyun might actually be level. "Because the first time I came to Blue Night it was a Thursday and it was mostly on a whim. I usually don't pass by there, I just happened to take a different bus to work that day. And you were there, and…"

Kibum pressed a hand over his eyes, embarrassed even in the safe confines of his own bedroom. He remembered walking in to Blue Night and literally stopping in his tracks as if he'd run into a brick wall when he saw Jonghyun for the first time. He remembered thinking that Jonghyun was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"And I thought," he continued, "if I ever want to see this guy again, Thursdays are probably my best bet. If your schedule stayed the same, then I was guaranteed to see you again. That's why Thursdays."

"Good thinking," Jonghyun said softly. "I'm happy you did that, then I could see you again too. I remember hoping every day after that that you would come back."

"Really?" Kibum blurted, a little taken aback to hear that he had made an impression on the first go-round. After all, it wasn't like _he_ was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He looked in the mirror every day and, on a daily basis, failed to take his own breath away.

Jonghyun laughed. "Why do you sound so surprised? Kim Kibum-ssi, you're very good-looking!"

Even though it was said with a catch of laughter, Kibum had to roll his face into his pillow for a second, feeling himself go pink.

"But of course I couldn't tell you that," Jonghyun went on. "Or that Thursdays became my favorite day. It would have been too inappropriate, don't you think, if I had said anything? I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, just from getting a cup of coffee."

Kibum smiled, half in gratification of Jonghyun's considerate nature, the other half a little more rueful that he'd had no idea over the past several months that Jonghyun had had his eye on Kibum too. "Even so," he said, "I think it all worked out nicely in the end. We're talking now, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I like the way things have gone," said Jonghyun, and Kibum could almost feel the soft smile in his voice. He sighed and said, "I want to talk some more, but I'm at work and I need to get back soon. I wish I didn't have to wait another week to see you again."

Though Kibum shared the sentiment, to make Jonghyun feel better he said, "That's how it's been every week."

"But that was before… you know," said Jonghyun, his voice edging towards petulant. "Now I've seen you three days in a row and I'm spoiled."

Kibum didn't disagree. It was practically a bounty of riches, getting to see Jonghyun so many times in a single week. "Are you working tomorrow too?" he asked, though without much hope.

"Yeah," said Jonghyun. "Unless… you want to come by during my break?"

"Yes," Kibum said immediately. He was well aware he was beyond showing his hand at this point, but it wasn't like he was the only one doing it. If anything, Jonghyun was the one who was laying everything out for him to see. "Just tell me what time."

"Okay, how about ten-thirty tomorrow morning?" Jonghyun said, excitement bubbling up in his voice. "At that bench in the park we met at on Thursday?"

Kibum grinned. "I'll be there."

"Great," said Jonghyun. "Okay, now I really have to get back to work. I'll—Oh, wait! I have one more condition you have to fulfill as part of accepting my magnanimous blackmail offer."

"…What?" Kibum said warily.

"You," Jonghyun said, his tone tinged with mischief, "have to send me a picture of what you look like when you've just woken up."

"No! My face is all puffy," Kibum protested.

"You still have to," Jonghyun said. "That's just how it is. I didn't make the rules."

Barking out a laugh of disbelief, Kibum said, "You literally just did, you weirdo. And anyway, nobody sees this face before breakfast, including you." _Especially_ him.

"Oh, my art is suffering already. Ow, it hurts," Jonghyun moaned. "Do I remember how to hold a brush? What does color look like?"

"Get off the phone," Kibum half-yelled with a laugh. He hung up first to make the point, and then immediately conceded it by taking a picture of himself, though he made sure to scowl so Jonghyun knew he was doing it against his will.

_Happy now?!_ he captioned and sent it off.

_Cute_ , said the reply that came in a second later, with a wink.

Kibum resisted the urge to hug the phone to his chest. _Ah, but what about when I'm old and fat and have lost all my hair?_

Immediately, Jonghyun wrote back. _Still cute_.  


	3. Chapter 3

On the scale of romance, meeting during someone's work break in a public place probably rated somewhere between helping them move house and splitting the check. On Kibum's scale, however, there might as well have been a sky full of fireworks.

He was no stranger to romance; rom-coms weren't a guilty pleasure for him, they were a way of life. He'd been wined and dined before, been given sentimental gifts, been told all manner of sweet things. But as grand of gestures as they had been, they couldn't hold a candle to what was happening now.

On paper, it would read banal. But Jonghyun wasn't on paper, Jonghyun was real life, and that was what made the difference.

Kibum smiled as he got up from the park bench, spying Jonghyun walking up the trail with a drinks carrier in one hand and his phone in the other. He bit his lip to keep his affection from spilling over.

"Hello, Kibum!" Jonghyun called out, waving as he came near. "I brought us drinks." He picked out the large cup from the carrier and handed it over.

There was no point asking what it was. Kibum accepted it happily, but said, "Two extra caramel macchiatos this week; you're going to make me fat."

"Didn't I say you would still be cute? You would still be cute," Jonghyun assured him as they sat down on the bench.

"Isn't this going to give me a big head?" Kibum asked, recalling what he'd said about complimenting Roo.

Jonghyun shrugged. "It's okay if it's true. Roo has no choice because she's already stuck with me, but I really want you to like me, so I figure relentless complimenting should get me there. Is it working?"

"Listen, you already had me at free coffee," said Kibum, raising the cup as if in toast. They shared a grin. "How long do we have?"  

Glancing at his watch, Jonghyun said, "Fifteen minutes? Maybe… let's make it twenty. They don't _really_ need me there for that extra five minutes… Five minutes won't make a big difference, I don't think. I'll just run back really fast when it's time to go."

"Don't get fired because of me," Kibum said worriedly.

"It's okay; I know the boss pretty well."

"If you're sure…" Kibum said, with narrowed eyes while Jonghyun took an unconcerned sip of his own drink. "Okay, so we have twenty minutes. Tell me everything about you in twenty minutes."

Jonghyun laughed, stuck at where to start with such an enormous task. "My name is Kim Jonghyun. I am a Korean male between the ages of eighteen to thirty-five."

Flapping an impatient hand at him, Kibum said, "I already know that!"

"You said to tell you everything! I'm telling you everything," Jonghyun said.

"I thought we only had twenty minutes? This is going to take _forever_ ," Kibum said.

With a quick smile, Jonghyun said, "Good, because that means I'll get to see you again and again, for a long time."

Kibum, torn between melting right then into a puddle on the ground and punching Jonghyun for being way too smooth, managed only to lift his drink to his lips to hide his smile. Over the lid, he gave Jonghyun a look that hopefully conveyed both feelings.

"Shall I go on? Do you want the time of my birth, the name of the doctor who helped to bring me into this world, and whether it was raining then?" Jonghyun said.

"Yes," said Kibum. He lifted an eyebrow in challenge. Besides, it wasn't like he wasn't already predisposed to sit at Jonghyun's feet and listen to him go on at length about literally anything. "Continue."

Jonghyun ducked his head with an impish chuckle. "I actually don't know. I don't think my parents ever told me. But let's pretend it was raining?"

"How can this already have gone off the rails? You've only just started," Kibum said.

"I'm trying to make it atmospheric," Jonghyun argued. 

"Okay, fine, let's say it was raining on the momentous occasion of your birth, at whatever time that was," Kibum yielded.

"Right, okay. So I was born and it rained. And then I had a childhood, I grew up, recently I moved from Ulsan to Seoul, and now Blue Night is my life. Also, art and my puppy," Jonghyun finished. "And that's basically everything about me."

Kibum nodded, his eyebrows coming together in serious contemplation. "Wow," he said, hand to his heart. "That was the most moving story I've ever heard. You may not be able to tell, but that made me very emotional. I'm holding back tears right now."

An ineffectual punch landed on his arm. "I don't know what to tell you," Jonghyun admitted with a laugh. "There's a lot of stuff that is boring and doesn't matter, and the things that do matter, you already know about them. Blue Night, art, and Roo. That's me. Also, I like reading and staying up late. And green tea." He held up his cup as proof.

 "Well, I guess that's three more things I now know about you that I didn't know before, so I'll take it," said Kibum. "But if we're going to see each other again and again for a long time, you're going to tell me a lot more, right?"

"Of course," said Jonghyun, his cheeks turning a little pink with pleasure at hearing Kibum repeat his words back. "What about you?"

"Me? I'm _really_ interesting," Kibum said, meaning no such thing. "How much time do we have left after your scintillating life story? Nineteen and a half minutes?"

Jonghyun took this stab at sarcasm with a big smile, his eyes squeezing shut. "Ah, you really make me laugh. I like that," he said, his gaze turning immeasurably soft.

If Kibum had a smidgen less of self-control, he might have kissed Jonghyun then and there. No one had ever looked at him like that before, like he was the most precious thing in the world. "It's only fair, I think," Kibum said. "You're using compliments and free coffee to win me over, so I have to try something too, right?"

"You don't have to try anything," Jonghyun said, as if this was self-evident. "I've been won over already."

Kibum was a bit at a loss, hearing Jonghyun's intentions so straightforwardly, over and over. Things didn't usually go like this. It wasn't this easy, ever. There ought to be a lot more fumbling with words; normally, Kibum by this point would have embarrassed himself to pieces in front of his crush at least twice, and he didn't know what to do with someone who seemed perfectly happy bypassing the entire ritual of pretending not to be as interested as they actually were. 

Unequipped for transparency, Kibum demanded instead, "Why won't you let me impress you with my wit?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Jonghyun. With a magnanimous wave of his hand, he said, "Go ahead."

"Well, I can't do it on command," mumbled Kibum.

"And you thought _I_ was doing a bad job telling you about myself," Jonghyun snickered. "It's a good thing I already like you, otherwise this would be going really terribly for you."

The embarrassment part had now fulfilled itself, so there was that, at least. "There was nowhere to go but down from there," Kibum admitted. "So I guess there's something you know about me now – I talk big and can't back it up."

"Don't worry," said Jonghyun, patting his knee. "It's endearing."

Kibum raised an eyebrow and didn't mention the fact that once Jonghyun had finished patting his knee he just sort of left his hand there. "Are you patronizing me?"

"Yes, I am," said Jonghyun without any hesitation whatsoever. He leaned one elbow on his own knee and propped his chin on his fist, looking at Kibum with interest. "Tell me some other things you're not very good at."

This time it was Kibum's turn to laugh, though half of it was with mock outrage at Jonghyun's quip. "Forgiveness," he said with a pointed glare.

"What if I showered you with more compliments and day-old pastries from Blue Night? Would that help?" Jonghyun said.

Kibum shrugged. "A little." He broke the ruse with a smile. "I'm from Daegu, but I've lived in Seoul for a long time already. I'm a lowly administrative assistant, I wish I had a dog – or ideally, I guess, since I'm wishing, I wish I had two or more dogs. I love travelling and cooking – and eating what I cook. Maybe…" He paused, but he had ventured this far already, so he continued, "Maybe one day we can have a meal together and I can cook for you."

Beaming, Jonghyun said, "I would definitely like that."

"Okay, good, that's settled," Kibum said, matching his grin.

"And if you can't have a dog of your own right now, you can always come over to play with Roo," Jonghyun offered. "She'd like it; I'm sure she's really sick of only having me in the house."

"Really?" Kibum gave him a slight side-eye, belying the effervescent feeling building up inside him at the indirect invite. "Are you sure you know what you're offering? Because I will play with any dog for hours and hours and probably attempt to steal her from you at some point. She's so cute." He grasped his fists to his chest helplessly at the thought.

"Can I…? I have to show you this," Jonghyun said. He brought out his phone and tapped open a video collection. Before pressing play, he said, a tinge of color in his cheeks, well aware that the contents of the video might not portray him in the manliest –or sanest– of lights, "Sometimes for fun I tie a balloon to Roo and watch her chase it."

 Kibum couldn't help but laugh as the video played with Roo toddling endlessly after her helium quarry while, out of frame, Jonghyun giggled and egged her on.

"Maybe this is why she's sick of you," Kibum said when the video ended with Roo wiggling out of the string. To the still frame of Roo on Jonghyun's phone, Kibum said, "Don't worry, little Roo. Uncle Kibum will take much better care of you once I get my rescue mission together. Shh, don't tell your dad."

Snatching the phone out from under Kibum's nose and holding it close as if it was Roo herself, Jonghyun said, "What is this treachery? I offer to let you, a poor, dogless man, play with my dog, and to repay me you're plotting to kidnap her? Do no good deeds go unpunished?"

"In my defense, you weren't supposed to hear that," Kibum said.

"I think I should reconsider my offer. She'll probably love you more than me anyway and won't even mind going home with you instead," Jonghyun said, frowning as he gave it further thought.

"And whose fault is that?"

"I can't help it if she looks so funny!" Jonghyun said hotly. The indignation melted in the next instant as he said, by way of explanation, "She's my only entertainment."

Kibum saw his chance to patronize Jonghyun right back and seized it. Choosing his shoulder as an appropriate place to pat, Kibum said, "Have you heard of television? It's this new thing that all the kids are into these days. You should look it up."

"Never heard of it. Sounds unnatural and bizarre," Jonghyun clipped, though the corners of his mouth quirked up. "Next you'll be telling me we figured out how to get to the moon."

"Don't be crazy," said Kibum.

He smiled at Jonghyun and then up at the sky, the warmth of the springtime sun paling in comparison to what he felt inside at being able to have a silly, inconsequential conversation with Jonghyun – just the two of them, out in the world. Though time ticked down on them, Kibum savored the comfortable air between them, one he might not have expected this early in their acquaintance; it was as if they already understood each other in the same unspoken language.

Kibum knew how he could come across sometimes – a little too much, overly sarcastic, full of himself – so he had a navigation system for when to hold back and when he could let it out. With Minho and Taemin, he never had to keep it in. And with Jonghyun, despite wanting to put his best foot forward and give off the most favorable impression he could, Kibum wasn't really hiding any part of himself either.

"I'm really glad we got to get together today, even if it's just for a short time," Kibum said.

"Me too," said Jonghyun, smiling softly. "But now I’m even more spoiled. Four days in a row! How am I going to make it through until the next time?"

"I don't know, I guess you could tie _two_ balloons to your dog," Kibum suggested. "That should keep you occupied for quite a while, right?"

Jonghyun swatted at his arm.

 

 

***

 

Tuesdays, the worst day of the week, were no cause for celebration; they were bleak and unending. The previous weekend seemed to have occurred at some point during the Paleozoic Era, and the next one felt a good eon away. But getting a good morning text from the cutest boy in the world – well, it made Kibum's Tuesday worth living.

They had kept up an intermittent series of texts ever since meeting on Sunday, nothing too serious, but with each new text Kibum could feel himself falling harder and harder.

If he was being pragmatic, he would say it was too early to call; after all, he had only been in Jonghyun's physical presence just two times outside of the coffee shop. But Kibum wasn't all that good at being pragmatic. What he was good at was diving in with his boots on. His track record wasn't what one could call stellar (see: one cheating ex and noncommittal other ex with terrible sense of occasion), but this time, _this time_ , he was sure it would be different.

As if Jonghyun had heard his thoughts, a text came in to further cement Kibum's feelings: _Have a great day at work!_

He floated the rest of the way to work; crowds seemed to naturally part for him and the cloud he was walking on.

Kibum entered the Heartwood office, as usual the first one there, and settled himself at his desk, turning the computer on and checking the company email with a contented smile on his face.

When Hyunmoo walked in, Kibum greeted him and was immediately accosted with a peculiar look. Hyunmoo leaned over the reception counter and studied him, one eyebrow raised quizzically.

"What's with that look?" Hyunmoo asked.

"What look?" said Kibum.

"Your face. It's…" said Hyunmoo, as he struggled to find the right word, "glowing?"

Kibum touched his cheek, as if this would help him see what Hyunmoo was seeing. "Oh, it's nothing," he said, unsure how much of his personal life he wanted to divulge to his boss, especially for something as new as whatever was happening between him and Jonghyun. But he found that he couldn't help it anyway, and said, "I've kind of started seeing someone."

"Ah," said Hyunmoo, nodding in understanding. "Good. That's a good look for our clients to see first thing when they walk in. Keep it up."

"Sure," said Kibum and kept the undercurrent of confused skepticism out of his expression until Hyunmoo went into his office.

His boss could be a little odd sometimes, as if he operated on some other level of consciousness. But as long as he kept it to manageable levels, Kibum had little to complain about – a few quirky stories to share when he got home, sure, but nothing truly worrisome.

After looking through all the emails that had come in overnight and earmarking the ones that needed a response, Kibum got up and went to the staff room to fix a small cup of instant coffee.

Part of him had made a very persuasive argument, earlier in the morning, to pop by Blue Night ahead of schedule, but eventually he'd come down on the side of not pushing his luck. It was already beyond imagining that he and Jonghyun were regularly communicating by phone; if he tried to take any more than what was given him, the universe might just rip it all out from under him.

When Kibum came back from the staff room, he found a delivery man standing at the counter, topped with a black-brimmed cap and whistling a jaunty tune. The manila package presented to Kibum was addressed to no one in particular, only to the business itself, and Kibum scrawled a quick, perfunctory signature on the delivery man's proffered clipboard. Cap doffed, the delivery man made his exit, and Kibum tore open the packaging.

Inside was an unmarked, glossy white box. Kibum shook the cover loose. Nestled snugly in the box was a cell phone, its blank surface mirroring Kibum's mild confusion on its screen. The phone case was a beautiful matte gold that looked like it cost someone's entire set of limbs, a corner engraved with a tiny arrow. "Uhh…" said Kibum, picking it up gingerly out of the box to see if there was any other clue as to why the agency had been sent this. A new toy for Hyunmoo, perhaps, though if Kibum recalled correctly, Hyunmoo had only just sprung for the new iPhone not two months ago.

"Uhh…" said another voice from the doorway, in a much higher pitch that might send local bats running for the hills. 

Kibum snapped his attention towards the door, where a nervous young man stood, wringing his hands. His stare was focused on the phone in Kibum's hand.

"Can I help you?" Kibum asked, nonplussed, as the man inched forward.

As he approached, Kibum got a better look at him, though it didn't help form much clearer an impression. His eyes were comically wide, lending an unflattering look of a deer navigating nighttime traffic. His clothing, sky blue from top to bottom, was obviously some type of uniform that recalled a flight attendant from a second-tier airline.

"You're not the archer," he said worriedly.

Kibum frowned. "The…? Who?"

"Oh no," the other man muttered to himself. Flicking his eyes up to Kibum again, he said, "Did you… did you sign for that? The delivery?"

"Yes…?" Kibum said. A misunderstanding was afoot, that much he could tell, but just where it was going was a mystery. "Was it misdelivered? It says Heartwood on the address." He checked the label on the package again to confirm. "Yeah, it has our suite number on it."

His words seemed to have no effect, as the only response was, once more, "Oh no," along with fingers tangling into a white knot.

They might as well have been having entirely different conversations. Kibum hazarded, "Do you need help? Can I call someone for you?" Like the police. Or maybe the friendly psychiatrist whose office was just a few doors down the hall. 

The visitor plastered a smile on, though the rest of his face still shone with what looked like a pinch of panic. "I'll be right with you," he said, and backed out of the office.

Kibum barely had time to pick through his bewilderment before the young man returned, this time lugging a massive leather-bound, gilt book in his arms, its cover embossed with the word RULES in large, foreboding print. It landed with a bang onto the countertop, behind which his eyes blinked at Kibum, absolved now of alarm and replaced by an odd determination that brewed a strong sense of foreboding in Kibum's gut.

"I'm Jinki," he said. Here, he moved out from behind the book and managed half a bow. A grimace crossed his features, like he wasn't sure he'd shown the proper amount of manners, but he rallied with a point toward the nametag pinned next to his lapel. "Administrative specialist. In training." The last part was more mumbled than said.  

He waited for some form of recognition, as if this meant anything at all to Kibum, who said, after several seconds' pause, "From where? Specializing in what?"

"You. Uh, your job," Jinki said. As if to disabuse him of any ideas that he might have gotten him mixed up with someone else, which Kibum was leaning very hard toward, he tacked on, "Kim Kibum."

"What? I don't—What?" said Kibum. "I'm sorry, did President Jun hire you?"

Jinki's laugh burst forth as a snort. "He wishes he had the authority." He shot Kibum a furtive glance immediately following this, as if afraid Kibum might relay what he'd said to Hyunmoo. Schooling his features into a picture of composure, he explained, inasmuch as it was an explanation, "You signed the contract."

Kibum shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

As far as dreams went, it was weird enough, but he was disappointed that his subconscious had concocted its imaginings in a place as banal as work. If he had to dream something, couldn't it be about bumming around a tropical paradise? Kibum eased his arms behind his back and pinched the inside of one wrist. It stung, but the scene remained.  

Jinki drew a rolled-up piece of paper from what appeared to be out of nowhere and showed him the line where he'd signed for the delivery of the phone. "See? Here you are, and here—" He gestured to the rest of the document, all in tiny print "—is the contract to be an archer in Seoul and its surrounding areas." His expression wavered, dipped a toe into apologetic. "It wasn't meant for you. But you signed it."

Kibum dug his fingernails into his wrist. Strange dreams were not unfamiliar to him, but he really didn't like where this one was going. Being chased by three-headed monsters, finding himself naked while taking an exam he hadn't studied for, losing all his teeth – unpleasant, sure, and definitely bizarre, but none quite as… baffling as this, and baffling because of the undercurrent of reality that snaked through the entire interaction.

Seeming to take his silence as consent, Jinki grinned and patted the rulebook. "Okay! Read this, and call me if you have any questions. My number's already programmed into the phone." He scuttled towards the door, looking back at Kibum once with the beginnings of relief on his face.

"Hey," Kibum called out, coming back to himself. Doing himself bodily harm didn't seem to be working. "Wait. No. You're not—I didn't sign any contract; I don't know what you're talking about."

With sagging shoulders, Jinki slouched back to him, muttering under his breath, "I knew it couldn't be that easy." He attempted a smile and gestured to the waiting area, inviting him to one of the armchairs. "Shall we sit? This… may take a while."

Kibum hesitated, then shook his head vehemently. "Who _are_ you?"

He pointed to his nametag again and said, brightly, "Jinki." Having established this once more, he took a seat and patted the armchair next to him.

Even unable to detect any measure of guile in his eyes, Kibum felt deeply unsettled, waffling between compliance and calling security for an assist. The decision was, however, taken from his hands when Hyunmoo ambled out of his office.

"Secretary Kim, do we have that—" Hyunmoo called, and caught sight of their guest, if he could properly be called that. He stopped short. "Oh."

Jinki shot up from the chair and smoothed down his jacket.

"Are you from the central office?" Hyunmoo asked with a single, sweeping glance. While Jinki nodded and opened his mouth to say something, Hyunmoo continued, "I was wondering when it would arrive. But don't you usually send it by courier? Is anything the matter? Where's Jangwon?"   

That Hyunmoo seemed to understand exactly what was going on was simultaneously a relief and yet more cause for frustration. It was as if everyone was in on the same joke at Kibum's expense. He shrunk back, attempting to extract himself from the situation while they worked it out between themselves. Perhaps he could, at an opportune moment, sidle out the door while they weren't looking.

"Yes, yes, yes, and Jangwon retired. I'm his replacement," Jinki replied with intense concentration to remember just what he was replying to. Kibum's luck, which had been holding until now, skipped out of the room without him as Jinki pointed straight at him and said, "He signed the contract."

Hyunmoo's eyebrows rose as he assessed Kibum. "Did he?"

"I didn't sign anything," Kibum said, defensive. "I mean, I did sign for a delivery, but it was just a delivery. It was just— _this_." He pushed the golden phone across the counter toward Hyunmoo, then added, for good measure and not without a hint of petulance for what was turning out to be a bit of a difficult morning with still no explanations forthcoming as to why, "It was addressed to Heartwood."

"Was it?" Hyunmoo frowned in Jinki's direction. "It's hardly his fault, then."

"Well, it's hardly mine either," Jinki argued. More to himself than to the room, he added, "Jangwon left terrible notes."

Kibum couldn't stand it any longer. As much as he would have loved to make a break for the door and possibly the next continent over, he had to know what he'd accidentally stumbled into, from signing a delivery slip, of all things. "What's _happening_?" he demanded.

Hyunmoo and Jinki shared a look, both of them attempting to shift the onus of explanation onto each other's shoulders with pointed glares. Finally, Hyunmoo blew out an irritable sigh and motioned for Kibum to sit. Once Kibum did as told, he slipped into a chair of his own, sliding one leg over the other, perfectly at ease. Beside him, Jinki hesitated before plunking himself down into the adjacent armchair.

"You are familiar, I'm sure," Hyunmoo said, "with the Cupid character from classical mythology?"

What immediately sprang to mind was a fat cherub baby with a bow and arrow, but Kibum didn't say so and only nodded instead. His acknowledgement of the subject caught up to him a second later, and Kibum narrowed his eyes, on the verge of catching on, but not quite ready to. "What about it?" he asked, wariness making the words come out slow.

"Well, it's not just myths. Some of those stories are real. Cupids exist," Hyunmoo said.

A small, dry laugh rolled out of Kibum' mouth. He wasn't sure what the joke was, though there was certainly a joke somewhere in there; what other response could he give? "What's this really about?" he asked.

Hyunmoo spread his arms in an _isn't it obvious_ gesture and waited.

"No…" Kibum said. "That… that can't be true."

"It is," Jinki butted in helpfully.

Kibum narrowed his eyes at Hyunmoo. "You're… Cupid?" Saying it out loud was worse than when he ran the statement through his mind.

"Oh, there are thousands of us," Hyunmoo said airily, as if this was common knowledge. "We're all regionally based. Seoul and surrounding areas, that's my sector. There are a few others in this sector too. We have drinks once in a while."

A thousand and one questions sprang up in Kibum's head, shoving each other to get a clear shot to the forefront of his brain. "But…" was the first one to get there, "you're a man."

Laughing, Hyunmoo said, "Of course I am. Or rather, of course that's the form I've chosen. Can you imagine how people would react if some little kid with wings ran around shooting arrows at them?"

Jinki snickered.

The response only birthed a thousand more questions in Kibum's head. "Are you saying that's what you really look like?" he asked, horrified by the idea that he'd been working for a secretly underdressed, rosy-cheeked, winged toddler this entire time.

"No, no," said Hyunmoo. He laughed again, though Kibum didn't see what was so funny. "We're… energy, but we have to take form when we're here on earth. The cherub look was popular a few hundred years ago, but it's not that practical now." He paused, taking in what was probably a blank stare on Kibum's face. "It's hard for human beings to understand the concept, so don't worry about it too much. Just accept it as it is."

Kibum blinked, the information processing only in drips and trickles.

Sensing an opportunity while Kibum was busy being perplexed, Jinki fetched the book from the counter and set it gingerly on Kibum's lap. "Now that everything is clear, please read this book carefully. I'll be on my way," he said, bowing and backing away.

He'd nearly made it to the door when Kibum popped up from his chair. "No, you stop right there. It's not clear and you won't be on your way." He stalked towards Jinki and shoved the book back in his hands. "This is obviously a mistake. Can't you just explain what happened to whoever is in charge and get them to fix it? This is crazy."

Jinki slouched forward, nodding reluctantly. "It's just that… this is my first real assignment," he said, shoulders sagging. "It's so embarrassing that I've made a mistake this big already. Even though it's not even really my fault! But I don't think I can face them. They'll probably fire me on the spot, or, or, or demote me back to data entry. I don't want to go back to data entry. Please don't send me back to data entry." He looked as if he might burst into tears if he spent one more second thinking about data entry.

"It's just a simple misunderstanding. I'm sure they won't fire you over something like this," Kibum said hastily. He appealed to Hyunmoo with a pleading look, needing someone else to step in with more useful platitudes.

Deep in thought, it took a long moment for Hyunmoo to even register Kibum's stare. "Sure, yes. I'll even put in a good word for you to help you smooth it over," he offered graciously. After a beat, he turned to Kibum. "But of course, you know how bureaucracy is. Everything takes so long… Just to get one piece of paper stamped you need to go through a hundred different channels."

"Right…" Kibum said, unsure where his boss was going with this.

"So, while all the paperwork is being processed, they'll still need someone to carry on with the work," Hyunmoo said.

Kibum may not have known where this was going, but instinct told him not to like it.

"You know," said Hyunmoo with an overblown sigh, "I haven't had a holiday for… I can't even remember the last time I had a holiday. That's how long it's been. I hear the Caribbean is lovely this time of year. Kibum, you would be doing me a big favor if—"

"No, no, I don't want to," said Kibum, forgetting his place. Normally, he wouldn't have dreamed of outright shutting down his boss's ideas so blatantly, but this wasn't normal, so he reckoned it was allowed just this once.

"Just for a few months, while Jinki sorts everything out," Hyunmoo rolled right on, as if Kibum hadn't said anything at all. "I have always been able to rely on you and I hope this time is no different. It would be such a great help…"

"But—" Kibum started.

Hyunmoo clapped an avuncular hand onto his shoulder. "Think of it as a temporary promotion. You've been doing the administrative work all this time, now here's your chance to see how the business really works." Adroitly picking up the unconvinced look on Kibum's face, he added, "With additional pay, of course. What do you think about doubling your salary? A whole extra year's pay just for a few months of work. In one lump sum, if you'd like."

Whatever protestations Kibum had ready on the tip of his tongue vanished in an instant. He lived well enough, but getting twice his current salary… that would help with so many things. Maybe he could send his parents on holiday or get a dog like he'd always wanted. He could treat Taemin and Minho to a proper dinner. He could buy the good soy sauce instead of the crappy discounted kind.

Taking his stunned silence as a good sign, Hyunmoo grinned and said heartily, "I knew I could count on you."

Kibum broke away from his daydream about buying a toothbrush at full price and said, "…Can I get that salary bump in writing?"

"Smart kid," said Hyunmoo, wagging an approving finger at him. He quickly jotted down the terms of Kibum's new responsibilities and recompense.

Seeing Hyunmoo mark his signature onto the bottom of the page somehow shifted the entire situation from the realm of absurd into real. Panic swooped in. "But I don't know what I'm doing!" Kibum said.

"Oh, it's easy," Hyunmoo assured him. "Jinki will fill you in."

At the mention of his name, Jinki broke into a blank smile. "Eh? Oh, yes, of course. Here," he said, showing them the book again. "This will—"

"You don't need to read that," Hyunmoo said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "It's useless. Except when you need something to beat a spider to death with."

Jinki uttered a soft, wounded yelp, hugging the book to his chest.

"All you need to know is how to use the Arrow," Hyunmoo continued, nodding at the golden phone Kibum was still holding in his hand. On closer inspection, he said, "Oh, and it looks like the Arrow 6, new model. You're lucky, the Arrow 5 has so many bugs."

"What?" said Kibum, having gotten lost about six sentences ago. Another point of ignorance occurred to him, and he said, "And how am I supposed to run the business without you here? You said it yourself, I've only done administrative work up until now. How can I do both? I don't even know what you do all day."

Again, Hyunmoo had a solution ready. "Jinki can assist you."

"Uh?" said Jinki, looking around the room as if hoping there was someone else with his name. "Are you talking about me?"

Hyunmoo nodded.

"Oh, thank you," said Jinki, "but I have a job already." He pointed to his nametag. "Administrative specialist. In training."

"Not to put too fine a point on it," said Hyunmoo, like a patient but disappointed parent, "but this unfortunate situation is because of your mistake, isn't it? The least you can do is help poor Kibum run the front desk while he figures out this new job that you gave him because of your carelessness."

Sufficiently cowed, Jinki made a noise that Hyunmoo construed as acquiescence.

"Is it," he asked Kibum mournfully, "like data entry?"

"Only a little bit," Kibum said. "But most of it is organizing things and making people feel special and important when they walk in."

"Oh," said Jinki, brightening up considerably. "I can do that."

All problems solved for the moment, Hyunmoo didn't wait around for any more to pop up. He clapped his hands together. "This sounds like an excellent arrangement." He strode into his office and came out with his briefcase, heading for the exit. "Well, see you in about three months."

"What? You're leaving _now_?" Kibum said.

Hyunmoo didn't bother to stop. Over his shoulder as he sailed out the door, he called, "Good luck! I'll bring back something for you from Barbados!"

Silence loomed in his wake for a minute, giving Kibum plenty of time to fully regret whatever he had just agreed to. He opened his mouth uselessly to call Hyunmoo back, but heard nothing come out.

Then Jinki leaned into Kibum's line of sight with his giant book and said, "Shall we start?"


	4. Chapter 4

Kibum walked into his apartment in a daze, dragging his bag behind him on the ground with one hand, the other clutching the rulebook to his chest. He couldn't actually remember how he had managed to get home; pure muscle memory must have gotten him on the right bus and made the right turns to get here.

It took him a second even to realize Taemin had pattered up to him and was waving a concerned hand in front of his face.

"Hyung?" Taemin said. "What's wrong with you?"

Kibum blinked, his surroundings resolving into clarity. He didn't know what he'd even been staring at before. Did he have his keys? How had he gotten inside? "Something weird happened at work today," he said. "I… I don't even know where to start."

"Why? Did you find a dead body or something?"

"Huh? No, gross."

"Oh, that's good. But you still look traumatized," said Taemin. He ushered Kibum to the dining table and sat him down, unburdening him of his bag and book, then poured him a glass of water. "So…? What happened?"

After a few false starts, Kibum finally said, "You've heard of Cupid, right?"

Taemin thought about this for a moment. "You mean the fat baby that goes around shooting people in the butt to make them fall in love?"

"…More or less," Kibum conceded. He shook his head, reconsidering. "Only it's not really like that. He's not really a fat baby. And nobody's butt is in danger. I mean, they still get shot, but it's not like—"

Confusion flowered into full bloom on Taemin's face. "What are you talking about?"

"My boss. He's Cupid. Actually, _a_ Cupid. He says there are thousands."

"What?" said Taemin.

"My boss," Kibum tried again. "He's not really a person. His matchmaking agency is actually so successful because he uses a magic phone to shoot the clients." Despite having most of the day to internalize this information, saying it now still sounded as ludicrous as it had several hours ago, if not more. Kibum slumped onto the table, burying his head in his forearms with a low cry.

"How much have you had to drink?" Taemin asked, at length.

"None," Kibum moaned into his sleeves.

Taemin gave him arm a tentative poke. "Then why are you being so weird?" When he got no other response than a tortured groan, he stood up and said decisively, "I'm calling Minho."

"Why?" Kibum said to the table.

"Because he knows what to do when you're like this."

Kibum lifted his head curiously. "Like what?"

Taemin made an impatient gesture with his phone. "Remember when _that person_ cheated on you," he said, still in keeping with the rule that they could never mention that person by name despite the incident having happened several years ago by now, "and the only thing that made you smile after two days was Minho threatening in horrifying detail how he was going disembowel him?"

Involuntarily, Kibum laughed. "Yeah. But this is thankfully not like that. It's just a lot weirder." He sighed.

"I'm still calling him," said Taemin. He took a few steps away from the table as he dialed Minho's number and put the call on speaker, and when Minho answered, said sweetly, "Hyung, are you free? Can you come over?"  

"Yeah, why?" came Minho's voice from the phone.

"Kibum-hyung is in a mood," said Taemin.

"For good reason!" Kibum called out.

"What happened?" Minho asked.

"It's hard to explain," Kibum shouted.

"Hyung," Taemin said to Minho, swinging the phone away from Kibum before he could shout some more, "just come over, okay? He really needs your advice. And, uh, since you're going to be out anyway, can you pick up some snacks and beer?"

Minho made a sound that fell somewhere between a growl and a sigh. "This better not be a trick just to get a delivery of free snacks."

"It's not; I really have problems," Kibum yelled.

"Okay, okay," said Minho. "I'm on my way. I'm already out the door." The jingle of keys came through the phone as evidence.

"Make sure you get some dried squid!" Kibum added.  

Minho hung up.

"Ah, I didn't even get to tell him what I wanted," Taemin grumbled. He came back to sit at the table. His mouth twisted to the side as he looked at Kibum, as if trying to stare the truth out from him. When Kibum only stared back balefully, Taemin said, "What I understand so far is that your boss shoots people."

Kibum nodded.

"With a magic phone?"

Kibum nodded again.

Taemin leaned back in his chair, stumped. "Are you _sure_ you haven't been drinking?" he asked hopefully. "Even just a little bit?"

"I wish I was drunk," Kibum said flatly.

"Do you want to watch videos of baby animals until Minho gets here?" Taemin suggested, though he didn't wait for Kibum's answer and loaded a video on his phone as soon as he finished talking because they both knew the answer was always yes.

Kibum's heart had melted into gooey puddles several times over before Minho arrived, pounding on the door and yelling through it, "I'm here."

Taemin let him in and took the plastic bags he was carrying to see what he had brought. "Thanks, hyung, you're the best."

"Yeah, yeah," said Minho, waving it off. He approached Kibum with narrowed eyes and swatted his arm in greeting. "What happened? Do I have to kill someone? It's not that barista, is it?"

"No, my Jonghyun is still perfect in every way," Kibum said. "It's about work. Sit down, it's a long story."

With minimal interruptions, probably because both his friends were too overcome with incredulity to form words, Kibum relayed the events of his day – from the delivery to Jinki's appearance to the fact that his boss wasn't actually human and had dumped every single responsibility of the business on him to having to teach Jinki how to schedule appointments on the computer now that Jinki was apparently his assistant.

When he had finished, Kibum took the longest drag of beer he could without having to stop to breathe. He emptied the can and plunked it back on the table, letting out a loud groan at the end of it.

Minho was the first to speak. "By any chance, did you hit your head really hard at any point in the day?"

"No," Kibum said firmly, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "I'm not crazy. It really happened. Look, here's the magic phone – the Arrow – and here's the rulebook." He pushed the items in question towards Minho and, for good measure, said again, "I'm not crazy." 

With a curious frown, Taemin flipped the book open, scanned the first page, then the second, and then skipped a few after that. A look of loathing mounted on his face as he turned the book open to its halfway point. He shook his head vehemently and shut the book with a loud snap. "This is the most boring book I've ever read," he announced. "It's like being in school again. Two hundred pages in and it's still talking about the origin and history of Cupids."

"My boss did tell me not to read it," said Kibum.

Though Minho gave it a suspicious glance, he opted not to read it either. "What about the phone, then?"

"Oh, Jinki showed me what to do," said Kibum. He pushed the home button, lighting up the screen to show a perfectly normal display, with the usual app icons available. He opened the camera and said, "I just have to take a picture of two people together, and then see this little arrow icon here? Once I press that, that's what, uh, makes them fall in love, I guess. I don't know how it works. Jinki just said it would."

If it sounded unconvincing to his own ears, it must have sounded beyond absurd to Taemin and Minho, both their expressions still clearly questioning Kibum's mental stability.

"Did you… try it?" Taemin asked.

Kibum shook his head no. He would have liked to, just to slake his own curiosity, but the idea of actually going through with it _and_ of it working was terrifying.

"Are you going to?" Taemin asked.

"I don't know," said Kibum. "Who could I even try it on? It seems slightly wrong to just go out in the street and push two random strangers together. Plus, Jinki also said that it can't be forced. Like you can't force a straight person and gay person together, or if one of the two people is adamantly against the idea or already in love with someone else, the magic wouldn't work."

Taemin rose from his chair, thinking hard about something. "I'll be right back," he said slowly.

Watching as he disappeared out the front door, Minho said, in a tone that was both knowing and long-suffering, "How much do you want to bet that he's going to bring back two strangers off the street?"

Kibum didn't take the bet. It seemed more than plausible that that was exactly what Taemin had gone out for. And even if it wasn't, he had been through enough times where Minho had lost – a bet; a video game; rock, paper, scissors – to know that if Minho was wrong, the ensuing five to ten minutes would be insufferable.  

As it turned out, Minho _was_ wrong.

Taemin walked back in a few minutes later with a leash wrapped around each hand, and a dog attached to each leash. "I borrowed some neighbors' dogs," he said, smiling brightly. "We can try the phone on them."

"What?" said Kibum.

"This one," said Taemin, gesturing to the fluffy but well-groomed white dog to his left, "is from the apartment above us. Her name is Gongju. And this one is Mocha. He lives just down the corridor." A small, brown terrier yapped excitedly at his feet and tried to eat his shoe while Gongju sat down regally and looked extremely done with everyone around her.

"You didn't steal them, did you?" Minho asked.

"Of course not!" Taemin said, picking Mocha up and cradling him in one arm to save his shoe. "I asked nicely. I said I was feeling very lonely and sad and can I play with their dog for a few minutes."

"And it worked?" Minho said dubiously.

Taemin nodded, like it should have been a foregone conclusion. "Kibum-hyung did it once too, when he came to my house and I wasn't home but my mother let him in and let him play with my dog anyway because he looked so sad and pathetic. It's all in the face."

"That was ten years ago," Kibum protested loudly. He leant down to stroke Gongju's head. "And what am I supposed to do with these dogs?"

"Make them fall in love, obviously," Taemin said.

Kibum looked askance at Minho, who only shrugged. There must have been a logical counterargument available, but for the life of him, Kibum couldn't think of it. So he picked up the Arrow and feebly gestured for Taemin to push the dogs closer together to fit into the camera frame.

"This is crazy," Minho muttered. "You're both crazy."

Well-trained, Gongju just barely tolerated sitting still while little Mocha skipped circles around her. Kibum snapped a picture, and after a bracing inhale and a shared look of nervous anticipation between his friends, pressed the arrow icon.

The effect was nearly immediate.

"No way," Taemin said in a hushed voice as they watched Mocha and Gongju settle down on the floor and snuggle with each other. Mocha licked Gongju's face.

"This is _crazy_ ," Minho said, his eyes wide.

Words stuck in Kibum's throat. The rest of the entire day he could attempt to chalk up to some kind of extended hallucination or even a mental breakdown, but if both Minho and Taemin were seeing the exact same thing he was seeing, then that meant… "It's real," he whispered. "It's all real."

Taemin dropped to the floor to hug the dogs. "Great job, guys," he said, excitedly ruffling their fur.

"Excuse me," said Kibum. "I did that."

Without skipping a beat, Taemin picked up Mocha and held the dog in front of his face. In a high-pitched, cartoony voice, he said, "Great job, Kibummie-hyung." He held out Mocha's paw for a high five.

Kibum laughed, feeling like something had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Okay, guys, let's take you home," Taemin said to the dogs. Happily, the dogs followed him out the door.

Minho turned to Kibum. "What did I just witness?"

Kibum let out a soft laugh, not quite able to believe it himself. "Magic."

 

***

 

Jinki was already in the office when Kibum arrived the next morning. On spotting him, Jinki bounced up from his chair, greeting him with a salute and the indefatigable, in-your-face cheerfulness of a morning person. "Good morning, did you sleep well?"

Nodding, Kibum said, "You?" He reconsidered, remembering that Jinki wasn't a human person. "Actually, do you sleep?"

"Sometimes, if I feel like it," said Jinki, looking pleased to have been asked. "But not last night. Last night I reorganized your filing system. It's _extra_ color-coded now, see? Uh, it's okay that I did that, right?"

Kibum nodded again, already overwhelmed, again.

"I also have some new applications for you to look at," Jinki said, holding out with both hands a folder containing what Kibum discovered to be applications with mini animal-themed sticky notes all over them, on which Jinki had written comments ranging from _so cute!_ to _what nonsense_ (this, tacked next to a short essay by an applicant whose idea of marriage seemed to equate to getting a personal maid). "This is a fun job."

Rarely in his life was Kibum at a loss for words, but he found himself with a shortage today.

"Did you finish reading the rulebook?" Jinki asked.

"Ah…" said Kibum. He had gotten to the end of the first page while in bed last night, and then the next thing he knew, it was morning and the book was on the floor. Taemin had been right; the book was an exercise in sheer tedium. In comparison, watching paint dry would have been exhilarating. No wonder Hyunmoo had said not to read it. "Not yet. I got a good start, though."

That he had begun reading it at all seem to make Jinki so happy, Kibum almost felt bad about it.

"But while I'm still reading it, if I have questions about topics that I haven't gotten to yet, I can just ask you, right?" Kibum asked.

"Of course," said Jinki.

Which was one more reason to negate reading the book at all, but Kibum didn't mention it. Instead, he said, "What if I make a mistake with the Arrow? Like, if I accidentally took a picture and put two people together, but I shouldn't have?"

"In that case," said Jinki, "you have to bring the Arrow to me. I have the authority to permanently delete the photo from the phone, and it will be like it never happened."

"Like… they'll forget they were in love? Or even that they were together? And the people around them, too?"

Jinki nodded. "But you, the archer, wouldn't forget. That's so you don't make the same mistake again."

"Okay, that's good to know," said Kibum, "because I think I've already made a mistake." He fished the Arrow out of his bag and relinquished it to Jinki. "I tried it on a couple of neighborhood dogs yesterday. They have different owners, and I guess they were so upset at being separated when we took them back to their homes that they both cried all night."

"Oh, so cute!" Jinki said at being shown the picture of Gongju and Mocha sitting next to one another. He handed the Arrow back without doing anything to it, however, and explained, "It'll wear off on its own quickly. The Arrow doesn't work very well on animals. They should be fine by tonight, if it even takes that long."

Kibum put a hand to his chest. "Well, that's a relief."

He sent Taemin a quick message, _Fixed_ , with the hope that it would ease Taemin's distress about having broken both dogs.

"Do you want to know what's on your schedule today?" Jinki asked.

"Yes, please," said Kibum, squashing down a fluttering feeling of panic.

All throughout his bus ride to work he had fought variations on a theme of _I can't do this_ ; it wasn't just the Arrow – now that he knew how it worked, that part was _easy_. It was that he had to run Hyunmoo's agency as if he knew anything about anything. Clients would probably take one look at him and demand their money back, plus interest.

"… Are you okay?" Jinki asked.

"Mm," said Kibum in a tight voice and nodded. A meltdown was within arm's reach, but he couldn't possibly have it in front of Jinki, someone he hardly knew. He'd save it for later with Taemin, who would hopefully still want to be friends with him at the end of it.

Jinki gave him a suspicious side-eye. "You don't look okay," he observed. He thought for a second, then asked, with nothing but sincerity, "Do you want a hug? I've heard they're nice."

In spite of himself, Kibum smiled. "No, but thanks for offering," he said. It was good enough that it was available if he really did need it, and knowing this somehow pulled his confidence back on track. "What's on the schedule today?"

It was a light one, with just two new client intake meetings, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. And from what Kibum had noted over the last year and a half, new clients usually came in nervous anyway, so they might not even notice how green he was.

The first went off without a hitch and was over before Kibum even knew it. Whether he had somehow internalized Hyunmoo's poised working style or Kibum had depths he hadn't known about until now was anybody's guess. The end result, however surprising, was that he'd gotten through a client meeting still breathing and not crying on the floor, which was a definite plus.

The next step, which was to search through their database for potential matches, was one he had never done before. That had always been Hyunmoo's jurisdiction; Kibum hadn't even had access to that database up until now. He wondered, now knowing how Hyunmoo _really_ got his couples together, if there was any actual work to be done here at all or if he was supposed to just blindly pick any available member on their list.

He wandered out to the waiting area to find Jinki at the front desk chewing on an ice bar and leafing through a men's fashion catalogue, one of those that they kept around the office for the type of client who needed extra style help before being deemed fit to meet potential matches.

"This one is nice," said Jinki, holding up the catalogue to a page of men's suits. "The black one at the bottom would look good on you. Not that you don't look presentable now, but Hyunmoo always wore these kinds of suits at work, no? To keep up the agency's reputation?" He nodded to himself as he looked at the picture again, like he was making a decision about it. "Do you want it?"

Kibum peered closer at the picture and laughed. "Are you kidding? That's Gucci. I couldn't afford one Gucci cufflink on my salary."

"But do you want it?" Jinki pressed.

"Yes," Kibum said flatly, "along with fifty billion won, a mansion, and world peace."

"I can't get you those," said Jinki. He turned around and produced a black bag from seemingly out of nowhere. It said Gucci on it. "But the suit I can get."

"Uh," said Kibum, which was the only sound he could manage to get out, much less anything resembling a word. He looked in the bag, and indeed, there was the suit Jinki had pointed out from the catalogue, and perfectly in Kibum's size. "Wha…? How? I can't afford this."

Jinki waved his hand. "Business expense. It's all taken care of in the central office."

Kibum blinked, waiting for his brain to process the last fifteen seconds. "You mean the place where you usually work?" He received a nod in reply, and he asked, "How?"

"Don't ask me," said Jinki. "I don't know how it all works; that's in a department much higher than mine. All I know is that I can get you stuff related to your work as an archer. You want more?" 

Though he would have gladly taken twenty more Gucci freebies, Kibum had a different question on his mind. "Other archers… Do they all run matchmaking agencies? Are all matchmakers secretly… you know, one of you?"

"No," Jinki said simply. "Many of them are, because it seems to make getting people together easier sometimes, but some archers are old-fashioned and like to just roam around finding people to match on their own. We don't prescribe a certain way to do it, we just help the archers get it done."

"Isn't it expensive?" Kibum asked, lifting up the bag as proof.

"No," Jinki said again, shaking his head. "We don't worry about money. The most important currency is love. As long as love continues being created, everyone is happy."

Kibum nodded. "Oh."

He still didn't quite understand, but he supposed it wasn't really his place to question the motivations behind a metaphysical organization that gifted him free high-end suits. And since they seemed to have such liberal ideas of what constituted business expenses, he said, "You know, this suit is really nice, but I don't think I have any shoes that would go with it."

"Oh, shoes! Of course," said Jinki, smacking his forehead. "How could I forget shoes?" He produced another bag and handed it to Kibum, nonchalance belying the fact that the shoes within probably cost at least half of Kibum's monthly rent. "You should wear them together tomorrow, for your big meeting."

"What big meeting? I don't remember scheduling a big meeting," Kibum said.

Jinki turned the computer monitor so Kibum could look at the company calendar – there, on Thursday's date, was indeed a client meeting, highlighted in bright red and with a reminder alarm attached to it.

"Oh, President Jun must have put that one in himself," Kibum mused. He didn't like the look of the highlighting; it seemed daunting, foreboding. He also didn't like the thought that Hyunmoo might have skipped town as quickly as he'd had knowing that particular meeting was on the horizon. "Who's coming in?"

Jinki clicked open the appointment. "Han Eungyu and Kim Jonghyun."

"What?" Kibum blurted. "Let me see that."

The words were just as Jinki had read. Han Eungyu he remembered – more specifically, Kibum remembered her mother, the frightening woman who had stormed in a week before demanding that Hyunmoo shoot someone harder, but Kim Jonghyun… it couldn't be.

Attempting to keep his cool, Kibum said, "Can you pull up Kim Jonghyun's profile?"

"Oh, there's no picture. I thought there were always pictures," Jinki said with a frown as he found the client's profile. "I like seeing the pictures."

Kibum scanned the profile, his heart racing itself to ruins. At the point where he got to the client's occupation, he read _Associate Director, Orbit International_ , and Kibum let out an audible breath of relief that made Jinki startle slightly. His Jonghyun did a lot of things, but he was fairly certain managing a renowned conglomerate was not one of them. Of course it was only a case of two people having the same name, definitely not unheard of, and Kibum had panicked for nothing.

As his heart rate decelerated to normal human levels, he noticed that Hyunmoo had added a note to the appointment: _100% MATCH_.

Jinki noted it, too. "Ooh, one hundred percent? That's exciting." He bounced in his seat. "And you're going to help them fall in love! That's even more exciting!"

Despite Jinki's enthusiasm, Kibum wrestled with a growing sense of trepidation. He had some confidence that the actual deed of taking the picture would go just fine, but he also recalled how CEO Jang had practically kicked down the office doors calling for Hyunmoo's head when the first match hadn't gone well. Kibum would have to do everything in his power to make sure this one went off without a hitch; he didn't think he had the fortitude to withstand her wrath if it didn't.


	5. Chapter 5

He took Jinki's advice and wore the Gucci suit, with matching shoes, the next day. It fit as though it had been tailored specifically to his measurements; even his reflection in the mirror was stunned speechless. Though it must certainly be his own imagination, Kibum felt taller, slimmer, and more than a few pairs of admiring eyes on him as he made his way to Blue Night before work.

Jonghyun hadn't texted him much yesterday beyond a good morning and good night, and normally Kibum would have found this reason enough to work himself into a small lather about _what does it all mean_ , but he found nothing but calm in him. Jonghyun had said that he was going to be busy with his father in town and Kibum was taking him at his word. Everything was just fine and dandy, and besides, it was Thursday morning, so he was going to see Jonghyun at the coffee shop in a matter of minutes anyway.

There was just one customer ahead at the counter when Kibum stepped in, and as she moved away after ordering, he noticed immediately how tired Jonghyun looked. His face appeared a little drawn and there were the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes, but before he could even ask, Jonghyun's mouth fell open at the sight of him.

"Wow," said Jonghyun, a little spark coming back into his eyes. "You look fantastic. What's the occasion?"

Kibum ducked his head slightly, almost embarrassed. "Oh, it's a really important client meeting I have this morning."

"Ah," said Jonghyun.

"It's kind of stressful, actually," Kibum blathered, apparently not having gotten enough of Jonghyun's attention yesterday and overdoing it now. "My boss sort of left me in charge, and one of the clients is really particular. If I screw it up, I might lose my job." He didn't add that said unemployment would be due to CEO Jang having garroted him. 

Jonghyun shook his head, as if everything Kibum had just said was nonsense. "No, one look at you and they'll do whatever you want." He gave Kibum a warm, closemouthed smile. "You're going to do great today, you'll see."

Chuckling, Kibum said, "Yeah, we'll see." He cocked his head, taking in the fatigue on Jonghyun's face from a different angle, which didn't help to erase it any. "Hey, are you okay? You look like you didn't get much sleep."

"Oh, it's nothing," said Jonghyun, waving it off. Seeing Kibum's narrowed eyes, he gave in and explained, "It's just… parents can be a bit exhausting, you know? When they disagree with you about the things you do, the things you want out of life..."

Kibum nodded. "I'm sure they have your best interests at heart."

"Yeah," Jonghyun said in a small, unconvinced voice.

"Of course," Kibum added, reaching across the counter to squeeze Jonghyun's arm, "it's important too that you're happy. And you deserve to be. It's your life, after all, right?" 

Jonghyun smiled, a real, soft smile that shimmered in his eyes. "Right." He took a deep breath, which seemed to chase his weariness away, and said bracingly, "So, the Kim Kibum Special as usual?"

"You know me so well," said Kibum, with a hand to his chest.

"I like to think so," said Jonghyun. He shot Kibum a wink as he brought forward a caramel macchiato that had been waiting for him. It was still plenty warm to the touch, Jonghyun's timing apparently impeccable. "I know you have to get to work soon," he said, while Kibum fiddled with his payment on the tablet, "so I'll text you later tonight about the dinner I owe you and Taemin, okay?"

"You really don't," Kibum said. Seeing Jonghyun open his mouth to argue, Kibum cut him off at the pass with, "At least, not for that reason. We didn't really do anything; we just turned up to your show. But if you want to have dinner with us because at least one of us is the most amazing person you've ever met, then I'll accept that as a reason."

"Wow," said Jonghyun, feigning ignorance, "you have such a high opinion of your friend. He _must_ be amazing, as I thought."

A scowl and a smile fought for control over Kibum's face. "Is this any way to treat your favorite customer?"

"Where?" said Jonghyun, popping up on his toes to look around the shop. The oblivious look on his face dissolved instantly as he laughed at Kibum's overwrought disbelief. "I'm joking, I'm joking, don't make that face. The other customers will think I've done something really offensive to you."

"You've only wounded my honor," said Kibum and pretended to sniffle.

Jonghyun leaned forward, bracing his palms on the counter. "Oh, how can I make it up to you? Another dinner?" he asked perkily.

"At this rate, you're going to owe me about seventeen dinners before the end of the week," said Kibum.  

"I don't see the problem," said Jonghyun.

"That's true," Kibum conceded, trying his hardest not to giggle, what with the overwhelming giddiness he was feeling. They hadn't even been on one real date yet, and were already planning several more. "Let's have seventeen dinners."

Jonghyun grinned. "Deal."

The door to the coffee shop opened, letting in a pair of customers who stopped a few steps away from the counter, looking up at the menu. Taking his cue, Kibum moved back and waved goodbye. "I have to get to work, and I should let you get back to yours. Talk to you later."

"Kibum-ah," said Jonghyun, calling him back momentarily, his face soft and sincere. "Thank you. I wasn't having a very good morning, but now I am."

Kibum acknowledged the thanks with a nod. Then, with a smile, he said, "Should we make it eighteen dinners, then?"

A nonchalant shrug rolled across Jonghyun's shoulders and a corner of his mouth curled up. "Might as well round it up to twenty."

Grinning, Kibum waved again and left Blue Night feeling a high that no amount of caffeine had ever managed to give him. It carried him all the way to work and he glided into the building like he was in a dream; everything seemed to have been passed through a soft focus lens, all the sharp edges of life daubed with a cushiony glow.

Jinki clapped his hands together as soon as Kibum stepped into the office. "Ha, I knew that suit would look good," he crowed, though, to Kibum's knowledge, no one had disagreed to begin with. "And so nice with those shoes. How do you feel?"

"Wonderful," said Kibum. "Magical. Isn't life magical?"

A beat of silence was the response. Then, a tentative, "Are you okay?" 

"I think I’m in love," Kibum sighed contentedly.

Jinki's eyes widened in alarm. "You didn't use the Arrow on yourself, did you? Because that's very frowned upon."

Kibum snapped out of his dreamy state. "No, of course not."

"Oh, okay then," said Jinki. Crisis averted, he then rested his chin in his hands, elbows on the desk, and leaning forward with a sparkle of interest in his eyes, said, "Who is it?"

"He's a barista. And an artist. His name is Kim Jonghyun."

"Oh, like—" Jinki pointed at the computer.

"Yes, yes, but obviously not the same person," said Kibum, slightly annoyed to have to spare even a second discussing this other, non-important Kim Jonghyun when he could be spending that time waxing lyrical about his Jonghyun.

"What is he like?" Jinki asked.

Kibum's answer was immediate and obvious. "Perfect."

Jinki snickered. "I suppose you _are_ in love."

"That's what I said," said Kibum.

Jinki opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever he had been about to say Kibum would never find out, as a tempest in human form blew into Heartwood at that moment, nearly driving the doors from their hinges.

"CEO Jang," Kibum said, grabbing onto the counter for support. His voice came out just below a squeak, which was the best he could have hoped for in the circumstance. "You're… incredibly early."

"Yes, and what about it?" CEO Jang challenged. "I pay for your service, don't I? I should be able to access it when I please."

She was, in fact, nearly an hour early for the meeting, and had her daughter in tow. Eungyu was a slender girl with sharp features, her bob cut tucked neatly behind her ears. By all appearances, she was also a reluctant and quietly mortified participant in her mother's breach of etiquette, straggling in several steps behind with her eyes trained on the floor.

"Uh… of course," Kibum said to CEO Jang, plastering an expression on his face that was, if not a smile, at least not overtly resentful. Between the fear of her wrath and his burgeoning pique at her snobbery roiling around inside him, Kibum's stomach was beginning to feel quite unwell.

Seeming to sense something slightly awry, Jinki stood up and said politely, "Would you like some tea?"

CEO Jang swiveled a gimlet eye his way. "Who are you?"

"Jinki," said Jinki cheerily, pointing to the nametag he still wore. "Administrative specialist in training."

The stare narrowed to disapproval that she left hanging in the air as she turned back to Kibum, leaving Jinki visibly appalled. "Where's Jun Hyunmoo?" she asked.

Behind her Kibum saw Jinki gesture the offer of tea to Eungyu who turned it down with a quick shake of the head. Kibum managed to keep the grimace-smile on his face and said, "He's taken leave for a few months. But rest assured—"

"Why?" CEO Jang interrupted.

"Personal reasons," Jinki piped up. Though his tone was still perfectly amiable, there was a steely look in his eye.

Not deigning to acknowledge that he had spoken, CEO Jang said to Kibum, "He gave me his word that he would match my Eungyu with someone worthy of her status."

She threw an arm around her daughter, pulling her close. For her part, Eungyu looked as if she would love to be anywhere else but here, including but not limited to a pit full of crocodiles.

"Look at my beautiful Eungyu," CEO Jang demanded. "Who wouldn't want her? But the last match was a disaster, and if Jun Hyunmoo knows what's good for him, this one will work."

"He found," said Kibum, thinking back to the appointment note on the calendar he and Jinki looked at the day before, "a hundred percent match."

Rather than mollifying CEO Jang to any degree, this only made her look him up and down, like she was calculating his worth, down to the last atom. "Are you running the operation today, then?"

Kibum nodded. "Yes."

"Fine," said CEO Jang. She let go of Eungyu, only to walk ahead of Kibum straight into Hyunmoo's office. "Let's have a talk before the _hundred percent match_ arrives."

Eungyu didn't follow her in, only sort of collapsed onto one of the armchairs in the waiting room with a sigh and stared out the window, radiating the need to be left the hell alone.

Seeing no other recourse, Kibum straightened the lapels of his suit jacket and steeled himself for a thoroughly unpleasant chat. Before he went into the office, however, Jinki trotted around the front desk and put an urgent hand on his arm.

"Don't let her push you around," said Jinki firmly. "Or… if she does, you tell me. You're my archer, and nobody bullies my archer. Understand?"

Kibum let out an unexpected breath of laughter. "I understand," he said. "Thanks."

Feeling a little lighter knowing that Jinki had his back, Kibum strode into the office and closed the doors behind him. He sat at Hyunmoo's desk and waited for CEO Jang, seated in the guest chair opposite, to speak.

After a long moment of what may have been an unofficial staring contest, she broke first and said in a long-suffering tone, "Who is it?"

Though he would have loved to throw at her a wildly sarcastic response, Kibum kept his calm and merely answered the question as he should. "Kim Jonghyun. He's an associate director at Orbit International."

CEO Jang's eyes widened a fraction. "Did you say Orbit International? Kim Jonghyun…" she trailed off, searching her memory banks. It appeared she retrieved what she was looking for, as something like a smile alit on her face, an expression so foreign it looked downright wrong. "Do you mean the chairman's son? Do you mean to tell me Jun Hyunmoo actually got Chairman Kim's son on board? Oh, this is good news."

Kibum said nothing, wondering where this was going. Just seconds ago she seemed ready to take someone out, but now she was very nearly pleased; the effect was reminiscent of whiplash, and Kibum feared being yanked back in the other direction in the next moment. He had yet to recover from the first.

"I'm acquainted with Chairman Kim's wife," said CEO Jang, as much relaying information as bragging. "I've been trying to get our children together for years, but he's always been so resistant. _Not_ resistant to my Eungyu, you understand," she clarified, "just of having an arranged marriage. His stepmother says he's always flitting off somewhere to… who knows what he gets up to? There have been rumors, of course, but if he's finally ready to settle down…" She gave Kibum an appraising look. "Maybe Jun Hyunmoo can occasionally be useful after all."

At this point, Kibum suspected his presence in the room was largely perfunctory.

"And if they marry," CEO Jang went on, "just think of what that could do for both of our companies. Maybe even a merger…" She breathed out a victorious sort of huff, imagining, probably, a future where she took over the world.

Kibum nodded along.

"Good," CEO Jang decided, slapping the armrests on her chair. "Make it happen. Shoot him twenty times if you have to."

"Uh…" said Kibum. He attempted to phrase his question as professionally as possible, suddenly remembering that she had referenced it the first time she'd burst in, but what ended up coming out was, "You know about… the shooting?"

The flinty look she had come in with swooped back into her eyes. "What do you think I pay premier level fees for, if not a guarantee?" she said, this time scanning him from top to bottom as if disgusted with his very existence. "I don't know what Jun Hyunmoo may have told you before he left, so I'll tell you now that I always get what I pay for. Make this work. He knows what will happen if you don't."

"I… I'm sorry?" Kibum said.

CEO Jang leaned back in her chair and let out a sigh, clearly displeased at having to explain herself. "Listen," she said. "You don't get to be CEO of a multinational conglomerate without cultivating some solid relationships along the way. As it so happens, I have more than a few friends in the media – national newspapers, television networks, you name it. I can call in a favor to any one of them at any time I please."

Kibum stared, still not sure what she was trying to get at, though he knew enough to heed the feeling of foreboding that had crept over him.

"You may not know this, since we run in _very_ different circles, but this Kim Jonghyun… it's long been rumored that he has certain… _predilections_. He's certainly never had a girlfriend that I've known of. Never proven, of course. Who would dare libel the chairman's son?" CEO Jang mused.

The ominous feeling sank claws into Kibum's skin as he began to catch on. This Kim Jonghyun in question must be gay, or maybe bisexual, or at least rumored to be. Kibum didn't know much about how these big corporations were run, but he had definitely seen their members brought down by lesser scandals.

"I, of course, would never dare to do such a thing," CEO Jang continued. "But perhaps a green employee from Heartwood might?"

Kibum started. "What are you saying?" 

CEO Jang lifted a shoulder in an elegant shrug. "Maybe things get leaked from the Heartwood offices – clients' personal information, an application form, notes made by the President himself? I don't know yet," she said reflectively. "But any one of those things could find their way to the press, and suddenly there's Kim Jonghyun outed to the world, and, oh dear, whose fault would that be?"

For a long moment, Kibum could only stare. Maybe this was the kind of mind it took to run a successful corporation, but for someone to machinate something like this, to completely fabricate pure fiction from thin air and do it so effortlessly, for the sole purpose of ruining others' lives – if Kibum wasn't directly embroiled in it, he might have even been impressed.

"You seem like you're getting the picture," said CEO Jang, "so I'll leave it there."

While the markings of her threat burrowed their way into Kibum's chest and sat there like a dozen leaden weights, CEO Jang daintily arose from the chair and strolled out of the inner office and to where her daughter sat in the waiting area. Kibum followed her out, dazed, not quite sure what he was supposed to do next.

"Weren't you," said CEO Jang to Jinki in a withering tone, "supposed to bring us tea about fifteen minutes ago?"

"We're out of tea," Jinki said flatly and went back to playing a game on his phone.

"They just hire any trash off the street these days…" CEO Jang muttered. She tapped her daughter on the shoulder. "Eungyu, come. There's the café downstairs we like. I don't know why they asked us to come so early if they're just going to make us wait this long."

Eungyu's lips pressed together, as though they were holding back something dangerous from escaping, but she got up anyway and trailed after her mother.

As soon as they left, Jinki raced around the reception desk and grabbed Kibum by the shoulders. "Did she do anything to you?" he asked, checking for visible bruises. "You would tell me, right?"

Kibum patted his hand, in part as reassurance and the other to make Jinki let go, his grip surprisingly strong. "No, she…" Kibum couldn't even put into words what had happened, still stupefied by the entire interaction. "I…"

Jinki stared at him with mounting concern. "What did she say?"

"She threatened me."

"What?" Jinki exclaimed hotly, whipping around towards the suite doors, like he intended to chase her down and demand satisfaction right then and there.

"She said she has a lot of media contacts," Kibum recalled, "and that she would use them to out this Kim Jonghyun as gay and blame it on Heartwood. It would ruin us."

Hearing himself say it out loud seemed both absurd and much crasser a tactic than CEO Jang had actually spun it, but Kibum had no doubt she could pull it off without any of it ever being traced back to her.

"And she knows about the Arrow," Kibum continued. "I don't know how, but she said that's what the premier level membership was. That she could get a guarantee. If I don't make this match work, she's going to bring Heartwood down." 

"Okay," Jinki said slowly, his brow furrowed in thought. "Okay, then make it work. I mean, Hyunmoo already did the preliminary legwork, right? He said they were a hundred percent match, so the Arrow will have plenty to work with."

Kibum nodded, but said, "Unless this guy really is gay. Then the Arrow wouldn't work at all, right?"

"Do you think she might have been bluffing?" Jinki asked.

"I don't know. She did say that there were rumors about him, but that nothing was ever proven." On further thought, Kibum added, "But if he's applied here, he must want to be matched. Would that be enough for the Arrow to work? That he's looking for a woman to be matched with, even if he is gay?"

"Grey area," Jinki admitted with a grimace.

Kibum ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I don't… is that even the important part? The important part is that she has the power to destroy both his reputation and ours if she chooses to." He groaned loudly. "Why couldn't President Jun just have waited _one day_ before leaving?"

Jinki's jaw clenched. "I'll try to find him." He looked at Kibum with worried eyes, then, like he'd flicked a switch somewhere inside him, suddenly smiled. "Don't worry, I'll help you sort it out. In the meantime, think happy thoughts!"

"Okay…" said Kibum.

"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," Jinki insisted, fluttering around him and, for some reason, clapping, like this would hasten the process along.

"Uh," said Kibum, coming up empty.

"Ah, I know! Tell me more about this person you like," Jinki suggested. "The perfect barista and sometimes artist."

"Oh, well," said Kibum.

Minho had gotten sick of this kind of talk about two weeks after Kibum's initial meeting with Jonghyun at Blue Night, and, for all his encouragement, Taemin sometimes spaced out hard whenever Kibum got into one of what Taemin called _his moods_ , where he'd start out breezy, describing whatever interactions he'd had with Jonghyun, and then swiftly spiral into _but he's perfect so what would he even see in me_ and in the end lie facedown on the floor moaning. Actually being asked to talk about Jonghyun was a delightful novelty in comparison and probably the best distraction he could get from this whole sticky situation.

He started, as with any good love story, at the beginning, and Jinki was the best listener, gasping and cheering at all the right moments.

"He sounds nice," said Jinki, approvingly, once Kibum finished, about twenty minutes later, and didn't even seem to mind that Kibum had been talking about someone Jinki didn't know for twenty minutes. "Do you have a picture of him?"

Regrettably, Kibum hadn't demanded a selca in return for the shitty one he'd sent of himself just waking up. "Oh," he said, scuttling to the inner office, "actually I think I have one in my bag. It's from the art show."

He retrieved the information sheet he'd gotten at the art show, with a photo of Jonghyun in the corner, and showed it to Jinki.

"Oh, he looks—" Jinki paused, distracted by some movement outside the glass doors of their office suite. He made a little noise of surprise and held up the flier. "He looks like that guy out there?"

Kibum followed his line of sight. Just a few steps outside Heartwood, there Jonghyun stood, now wearing a blazer that the older man with him was inspecting critically. The stern look on his face suggested that he found it lacking. Though Kibum had left Jonghyun with a smile earlier in the morning, there was no trace of it now. Jonghyun seemed to be barely holding his frustration in check, his jaw tight, shoulders curled in.

"What's he doing here?" Kibum said, mostly to himself. A part of his brain attempted to fit what puzzle pieces he had together, but he refused to let it.

Jinki rose from his chair to get a better look. "Do you think," he said, with a tentative glance Kibum's way, "he could be the same Kim Jonghyun as—"

"No," Kibum said sharply.

They watched, unobserved, as CEO Jang and Han Eungyu came into view. Though they couldn't hear what was happening, the look on CEO Jang's face showed both recognition and pleasure as she greeted the older man with an enthusiastic handshake and got a smile in return. She gestured happily to their children, neither of whom seemed to share her feelings, and an over-loud trill of laughter filtered through the doors.

Kibum could only imagine what they were saying to each other, and as much as he hated it, he didn't think his imagination was very far off. After all, CEO Jang had told him herself – _I've been trying to get our children together for years... and I always get what I pay for._ Bit by bit, the missing pieces of the story slotted in, and shred by shred, his heart fell apart.

Jinki was right. The Kim Jonghyun on his appointment calendar was the very same one who stood outside, the one who made Kibum's heart race, the one who woke him up with sweet good mornings and sent him to sleep with a smile. This was his Jonghyun, and Kibum was about to make him fall in love with someone else.

His eyes on the floor up to this point, Jonghyun stopped short at the sight of Kibum as the assembled group walked in, his mouth dropping open. No sound came out, and Kibum supposed it was because there was nothing to explain and nothing owed him. Not that there was anything Kibum particularly wanted to hear at this moment. For a long second, oppressive silence filled the room as their stares locked.

"Good morning," said Jinki, a little louder than necessary. He shot Kibum an apprehensive look. "Welcome to Heartwood. This is… this is Director Kim Kibum. He will be facilitating your meeting today. If you would kindly proceed to the director's office…" He gave a little bow and gestured towards the inner office with a fixed smile on his face. "Director Kim will be with you shortly, and I will bring in some tea for everyone."

CEO Jang ushered the small party in, Jonghyun still staring dumbfounded at Kibum as he was pushed along, but she lagged behind a few steps to give Jinki a glare. "I thought you said you were out of tea?" she hissed.

"We got more," Jinki shot back, as surly as Kibum had ever seen him.

Once the group was inside and the two parents were chatting pleasantly, Jinki pulled Kibum to the staff room, out of earshot.

"You don't have to," Jinki said. "There's no rule that says you have to."

Kibum's head was buzzing, kicking up all kinds of dirt and debris that made it hard to think. Sure, he could refuse to go through with the meeting and then go home and curl up in the fetal position for the next two years, but… "If I don't, we know exactly what she'll do. She'll have no qualms crushing all of us."

"Oh… I forgot about that," Jinki sighed.

"I don't think I have a choice," said Kibum.

Though he looked at Kibum miserably, Jinki found a bracing smile from somewhere to give him, and said, "I'll find out where Hyunmoo is; I'm sure he knows how to deal with her. He's done it before, right? We can fix it. We can always fix it later."

Kibum nodded, though it was cold comfort at best. Making Jonghyun and Eungyu fall in love was one thing, definitely one very horrible thing, but what really twisted the knife was whatever game Jonghyun thought he'd been playing. Why bother with Kibum – all that flirting and the coffee and the daily texts – if he had already decided on not only an agency match, but, if CEO Jang was right, an arranged marriage?

While a quiet, small, and reasonable part of him argued that Jonghyun might have good reasons, the more aggressive voice in his head told Kibum to use his ire to at least get through the meeting. He wouldn't be able to stand being in the same room as Jonghyun otherwise.

A sense of justified anger stalked beside him as he went to the inner office to meet with his clients – and for now, that was all they were, and Jonghyun nothing more to him.

Kibum swept in and sat down in the empty armchair adjacent to the large L-shaped sofa arranged in a corner of Hyunmoo's office. He spared only an impassive look in Jonghyun's direction and chose not to acknowledge their acquaintance.

He had heard bits and bobs of Hyunmoo's style of talking to clients whenever he had been the one to bring in tea or files during meetings, and Kibum shielded himself with that persona now, smooth and confident and bulletproof.

Once the usual pleasantries had been exhausted, Kibum said, "CEO Jang happened to stop in a little earlier and, as I told her, we matched Mr. Kim Jonghyun and Miss Han Eungyu together because, based on their profiles, they appear to be extremely compatible across not just a handful of our measures, but all of them."

"I always knew they were suited for one another," CEO Jang interjected, the picture of motherly charm now. She turned to Jonghyun's father. "Your wife and I talked so many times about getting these kids together. And now, look, we even have Heartwood's proven methods behind us."

"Status, education, leisurely interests, family values," Kibum reeled off, calling to mind each section of their membership application. "These were all areas they shared in common." He had no idea if what he said was true, but what did it matter? It was what he was supposed to say.

CEO Jang looked more pleased with him by the second; if anything positive came out of this, it would at least be that he might get to the end of the day physically unscathed.

"I don't—" Jonghyun began, but was cut off by his father.

"Yes, that's excellent to hear," said Chairman Kim.

The door opened and Jinki entered with a slight bow, carrying a tray of tea things. He set it out on the table in the middle of the group and stealthily gave Kibum an inquiring look, asking whether everything was all right.

Kibum gave him a small nod and half a smile, which reassured Jinki enough to send him back out again.

"I appreciate the effort you've put into this," Chairman Kim said to Kibum. "You see, we've been hoping for our son to take a more serious view of life for some time, and I think this will be a good thing for him."

"It's my pleasure," Kibum lied through his teeth.

"It will be such a weight off our shoulders to see our son finally settling down," Chairman Kim continued. "He's had time to have his fun, but now he should be thinking of his future and the future of Orbit."

Though Kibum suspected that Chairman Kim's words were directed more at Jonghyun than at him, he nodded. "Naturally," he agreed.

"And of course," said Chairman Kim, "we have to ask you, Miss Han Eungyu, to lead him well."

Eungyu seemed startled to have been addressed, but gave a quick nod of her head.

CEO Jang clasped her hands to her chest. "Oh, I'm so happy to see our children matched together. This is truly a special day. We should commemorate it with a picture, don't you think, Director Kim?" she said, giving him a sharp glance.

"I was just about to suggest it," said Kibum. "And of course, we do like to take a picture of our couples together for our own records. It helps us keep track of our successes."

Kibum went to the desk to get the Arrow from one of the drawers. He felt oddly detached from the whole situation, as if he was watching himself from afar, like an out-of-body experience. He could even picture himself going through with it, putting the Arrow away, and then going about the rest of his day in perfect calm. How he would achieve that was unclear, but at least it was in the realm of possibility.

"Mr. Kim, Miss Han, if you please," he said, gesturing for them to stand next to each other for the picture.

They shuffled together awkwardly, arms rigid at their sides.

"Eungyu! Stand closer!" CEO Jang shrilled.

Kibum took in the view from the camera frame, forcibly squashing down the reluctance he felt rising in his throat. "One, two, three," he said quietly, and snapped the picture.

"Take a few more, just in case," said CEO Jang.

Too weary to disagree, Kibum acquiesced, taking three more pictures, each successive one no different from the last, the subjects of the photos both wearing blank expressions. He let a moment of hesitance pass and then pressed the arrow icon on the screen.

"There, it's done," he said.

"Wonderful!" said CEO Jang. Now that Kibum's part in the charade was finished, she seemed to feel free to ignore him thereafter. "Chairman Kim, we must have dinner together so our families can become better acquainted. After all, we might be in-laws soon."

"Certainly, certainly," said Chairman Kim. "I'm sure you and my wife can arrange something that we can all enjoy."

"Yes, I will get in touch with her at once," said CEO Jang. "Eungyu, come! Let's not take up any more of Chairman Kim's time; I’m sure he's very busy. And we'll have plenty of time to chat over dinner soon. We'll take our leave first."

With twin bows, the Hans left the office, at least one of them in high spirits, and though Chairman Kim hovered near the door, clearly also ready to go, Jonghyun stayed back with a muted but pleading look towards Kibum.

"Director Kim," he said to Kibum urgently, throwing a quick and somewhat guilty glance over his shoulder at his father, who was still within hearing distance.

"Yes?" said Kibum, his tone colorless, dispassionate.

Jonghyun must have taken the hint, as his shoulders sagged a little. "Thank you for your time," he said in a stiff voice.

Kibum didn't watch them leave, instead busying himself with putting all the teacups back on the tray and taking it to the staff room to rinse out. Jinki followed him in and put a kind hand on his shoulder, not saying a word.

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be," Kibum said, though he felt tears sting his eyes as soon as the words left his mouth.

"It's okay too if it _was_ hard," said Jinki.

Kibum brushed a hand under his nose and nodded, though he didn't want to talk anymore about it. He let Jinki steer him out of the staff room and sit him down in one of the chairs in the waiting area with a Gucci catalogue.

"I'll clean up; it's my job," said Jinki. He patted Kibum's arm. "You look through this and choose something else you want."

Even in his emotional daze, Kibum had to laugh a little. "Are you saying every time I have a difficult day you're going to get me something from Gucci?"

"If I have to," said Jinki with a shrug.

"You're a really great administrative specialist," Kibum said.

Jinki gave him a smile and disappeared back into the staff room.

Only on rare occasions did Kibum indulge in retail therapy – he was too meticulous about building his savings to fritter much of it away on impulse buys – so he should have had a veritable field day with Jinki's offer, but instead he felt almost nothing. He flipped through the catalogue aimlessly, not taking in very much and forgetting almost instantly what he'd looked at on the page before.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and his stomach plummeted at the sight of a text notification from Jonghyun.

_I need to talk to you. Please._

Kibum stared at the text, debating. It might be better for his future wellbeing and sanity if he let this morning's meeting be the last time he saw Jonghyun, a clean cut. On the other hand, a cut, however clean, could still hurt like hell. Plus, he was upset and he wanted to yell at Jonghyun until his lungs gave out. Maybe that was the catharsis he needed, and he'd be able to put it behind him after that.

"Jinki," Kibum called out. "What should I do?"

Jinki pattered out of the staff room, wiping damp hands on his pants, and took the proffered phone. He blinked at the text message, and then jumped in surprise when the phone dinged with a follow-up text. "He says he's still in the building."

"What should I do?" Kibum said again.

"What does your heart tell you?" Jinki asked.

"This stupid thing?" Kibum said, thumping his chest. "It told me this morning I was in love with a liar." As quickly as his ire had risen, so did it peter out, and he sighed. "It's also telling me I should at least let him have his say before I write him off completely."

Jinki leaned a little backwards to look out the glass doors of their office. "Well, do it now if you're going to, because he's standing right outside the office. He keeps peeking in like he thinks I won't notice. Hi," he said, waving in greeting towards the doors. "Oh, he's embarrassed now."

Kibum stood. "Okay. I guess we can let him in."

Jinki gestured to Jonghyun that it was okay for him to come in, and Jonghyun entered, giving Jinki a small bow in thanks.

While Jinki retreated to the reception desk, Kibum folded his arms across his chest and waited, not caring that Jinki could see and hear the entirety of whatever was about to unfold.

"You have every right to be angry," Jonghyun began.

"Angry?" Kibum repeated. Angry wasn't quite adequate for the mess of feelings fighting inside him. He didn't know which one to start with. "Who are you, really? A chaebol heir trying to escape the family business, running his own coffee shop, trying to make it as an artist – I mean, could you be any more of a drama cliché?"

"Well, I'm not as tall and good-looking as the ones on TV…" Jonghyun said. Seeing, accurately, that this did not lighten the mood in any way, he added, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't think it mattered. That's not my life. I have nothing to do with my father's company; I haven't for years. The title, Associate Director, it's just that, a title. Everything else you know about me, everything else you've seen, that's me."

Somehow, the revelation that nothing was truly different about him only made things worse. If Jonghyun had turned out to be a pathological liar and unrepentant asshole, Kibum could have gotten over him in a second flat. But Jonghyun was just… Jonghyun. His Jonghyun.

"I thought we… I thought there was something there. You and me," Kibum said.

"Me too," Jonghyun said in a small voice.

"Then what are you doing here? At a matchmaking agency?" Kibum exploded. "With your father talking about marriage! What do you take me for? An idiot? Am I just some fling to get out of your system?"

"No, of course not. I didn't—" Jonghyun started and stopped. He seemed to have trouble finding the words he needed, floundering with his mouth opening and closing uselessly. Finally, he managed, "I—My parents were the ones who submitted the application. I'd never even heard of Heartwood before this week and I would have absolutely no interest in it otherwise."

"You still came."

Jonghyun shut his eyes for a moment. "I had to."

"Why?"

Looking away for a second, Jonghyun took a breath before speaking. "My father wants me to take over the business in a few years. I need to look… respectable." He glanced down at his shoes and gave them a wry smile that disappeared almost immediately. When he spoke again, it was so quiet Kibum had to strain to hear him. "He said he'd disown me otherwise."

Kibum pressed his face into his hands, his anger at Jonghyun draining out of him all at once. Then, in spite of himself, in spite of everything, he strode forward and threw his arms around Jonghyun. "I'm sorry," he rasped. "I'm sorry this is happening to you."

Jonghyun's arms came up to return the hug, clutching Kibum tight. How long they stood locked in that embrace Kibum didn't know; it felt as if time might have stopped just in that space while the rest of the world kept on moving without them. Or maybe that was only wishful thinking.

When they finally broke apart, Jonghyun's eyes were red. He wiped them with a careless hand and looked around the office, pasting on his face something akin to a smile. "You never told me you work at a matchmaking agency."

Kibum shrugged. "Administrative work is administrative work everywhere. Well, normally I do administrative work, but—"

"Your boss left you in charge," Jonghyun filled in slowly, recalling their conversation from earlier that morning. "And you had to do well in the meeting with your clients today otherwise you might lose your job."

It only occurred to Kibum then, and seemed to dawn on Jonghyun at the same time, that they were truly sunk, twice over. Jonghyun had his father's threat hanging over him, and Kibum CEO Jang's. One they might be able to find a way to get around, but both seemed an impossibility.

"Those clients…" Jonghyun said. "That was us, wasn't it? The meeting that just happened."

Kibum spun on his heel and paced the length of the waiting area. "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this so much," he chanted. How his life had taken such a heinous turn in just the last two hours was beyond comprehension.

Jonghyun stood in place, watching Kibum fume up and down the office, the sheen of sadness in his eyes growing with each pass. He wiped his face on his sleeve, helpless.

Unable to simply be a bystander anymore, Jinki walked in the middle of Kibum's path and gripped his shoulders. "Stop. Stop," Jinki said quietly, guiding Kibum to a corner of the office. "Breathe."

While Kibum did as he was told, feeling both ashamed about and unfinished with his outburst, Jinki patted his back and then slid away to find a box of tissues for Jonghyun, patting his back too.

Leached of energy, Kibum finally turned back around to face him, and Jonghyun said, with a catch in his voice, "Can we still be friends?"

Kibum inhaled a long breath, wondering if Jonghyun knew what he was asking. To be around him and to have to keep his feelings for Jonghyun locked away when they'd already gotten to this point, it would be torture. But not to have Jonghyun in his life at all, wouldn't that be worse?

"Of course," Kibum said, which was the only thing he could say.

"Okay," said Jonghyun in a shaky voice, nodding vigorously like he was forcing himself to recover. When he spoke again, his voice was much steadier and much more like the early days, when Kibum wasn't yet a regular at Blue Night, friendly enough but missing the warmth Kibum knew now. Like they were strangers, starting over. "Okay, then. I… I still owe you and Taemin a dinner."

Technically, they had agreed on twenty, but Kibum didn't mention it. Instead, he played his part, reshaping their relationship into something superficially easier, something that would keep their heads above water, at least for the time being. "Yeah. Sure," said Kibum. "Let's make plans later."

"Okay," Jonghyun said again. He looked at Kibum in silence for a long moment, as if drinking him in for the last time, then turned and walked out the door.

Kibum bit his lips together, watching him go. Then he turned to Jinki, who had returned to hiding behind the reception desk. "Was that the right thing to do?"

"I don't know," said Jinki, looking fairly distraught himself for having witnessed Kibum and Jonghyun's conversation, and held up seven bulging Gucci shopping bags. "But you were very brave and you deserve this."

Kibum's laugh spilled a couple of tears. He brushed them away with the back of his hand and accepted the bags as tokens of Jinki's sympathy, though he had a fleeting thought that he might start associating the brand with bad things happening to him.

"I shot them, you know. With the Arrow," said Kibum after a while. "Him and Han Eungyu. What's going to happen?"

Reluctantly, Jinki said, "They might fall in love. He obviously has some feelings for you, but if he's willing to go through with this matchmaking for his father's sake, that might be enough of an opening for the magic to work." He frowned. "It's hard to predict, though."

Kibum remembered how quickly the neighbors' dogs had fallen under the Arrow's spell. He would have clung to that as a shred of hope, given that Jonghyun and Eungyu hadn't seemed to suffer the same immediate effects, but then again, human emotions were probably much more complex than dogs'. He slumped over the reception counter.

"How did this job turn out to be so difficult?" he asked. "It was just supposed to be point-and-shoot. It was just supposed to be extra money in my bank account. Jinki, why is it this hard?"

Jinki patted his head sadly. "I don't know, I'm sorry. This is probably why we don't have human archers. I'm sorry for my mistake. It's my fault you got into this."

"It's not your fault," Kibum said, squeezing his hand. He straightened up and took in a shaky breath that eventually diffused through his body, leaving him feeling, if not better, at least a little calmer than before. "And life just has to go on, right? There are things to do?"

Taking his cue, Jinki nodded and consulted the appointment calendar. "Yes, you have a few phone calls scheduled, and those intakes from Tuesday need to be matched with someone, if we have someone to match them with."

"Okay," said Kibum. "I can do that."

 

***

 

Surprisingly, he did. There was something to be said about burying his head in work, deeply and intensely, so that when it was time to go, coming up for air felt like an afterthought. He'd found twelve potential matches for both of his new intakes, with airtight rationales for each of them. If pressed, he might even say he'd found it satisfying work, like digging through a box of mismatched pieces from a dozen different jigsaw puzzles thrown in and discovering the parts that went together.

But as he left the work behind and walked out of the building and to his bus stop, there was no longer anything tangible in front of him to distract him from the thoughts he needed to be distracted from in the first place.

His mind replayed the morning's events like the world's most sadistic Vine, looping through his conversation with Jonghyun and the look on his face at the end of it. It hurt to think of it, and yet he couldn't stop.

Kibum got on his bus and made a beeline for a seat far in the back. As the bus rumbled down the road, Kibum felt, almost with surprise, a tear on his cheek. He wiped it away hastily, hoping no one had noticed, then pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

"Minho-yah," said Kibum, as soon as he heard his friend's warm, familiar voice. It was an effort even to say that without breaking down then and there. "Minho, I'm sad."

"I'm on my way."

 

***

 

Minho was tall and handsome and funny and good at sports, which were just a few of the many reasons why Kibum often said he despised him, but if he had to concede something, it was that Minho gave the best hugs in all the world. A Minho hug was like being tucked into the warmest cocoon that would protect you from anything, wind, rain, or shine.

A Minho hug also never judged Kibum for crying his eyes out.

"Do you want me to push CEO Jang and Jonghyun's father off a cliff and make it look like an accident?" Minho said eventually, once the whole story had come out.

"Yes," Kibum hiccupped into his shoulder.

"Make it grisly," came Taemin's dark contribution from the outer edges of what had developed into a three-person hug.

"Okay, I will," said Minho in his most soothing voice while he rubbed circles up and down Kibum's back. "I'll start planning it right now, and I'll make it really horrible."

"Really, really horrible," said Taemin.

Kibum sniffed and nodded. "Okay. That's all I ask." He extricated himself from Minho and Taemin's arms so he could wipe his face clean, though Minho's shirt had taken most of the brunt of it. "Sorry, I'll get you a new shirt. You can probably take one from one of those bags," he said, flinging an arm in the direction of the pile of Jinki's condolence gifts he had lugged home along with his heavy heart.

"I can't believe you agreed to stay friends with him after all that," said Taemin with a pout, pulling Kibum by the hand to sit on their couch. "Look at what he's done to you. How can you still want to see him?"

Shaking his head, Kibum said, "It's not Jonghyun's fault. He didn't have much of a choice either."

"What I can't believe is that his father would threaten to disown him," Minho said. "What kind of person could do that and still have the gall to call himself a father?"  

"I should have… I should have been _really mean_ to him when we went to his art show," Taemin said, not to be swayed. "I should have told him that his art sucked."

"Don't," Kibum said, patting his knee.

"What are you going to do, hyung?" Taemin asked. "Just pretend like everything is okay? How can you pretend everything is okay? It's not okay. You're heartbroken."

Kibum nodded. "That's true, but at least I have you guys," he said. Now that he had gotten all his cries out, what was left inside was mostly emptiness, but in that emptiness, also a little clarity. "I don't think he has anyone like that. And if anyone needs friends right now, it's him."

"You're too good for him," Taemin said grumpily.  

"So I'm going to be his friend," said Kibum, and saying it out loud cemented it in stone. He couldn't be the one to punish Jonghyun even more for making a choice that hadn't been a choice at all. "And we're going to go to dinner with him if he asks. And you won't be mean to him."

"Fine," said Taemin. He crossed his arms tight on his chest. "But I'm still going to tell him his art was inscrutable and inaccessible to the common man."

Minho cocked his head, not quite on board with this plan. "Doesn't he mostly do portraits and still life?"

"I don't care, I'm still saying it. Someone has to," said Taemin, and got up off the sofa to fetch one of the bottles of soju Minho had brought along.

"I think," said Minho, touching Kibum's shoulder, "you're doing a very generous thing and I support you. But if it gets to be too hard on you… You know you don't owe him anything. Owe it to yourself first to be happy. Take care of yourself first."

"Got it," said Kibum, with a decisive nod.

Taemin returned with soju and cups for everyone. Once the first shot had been downed, he foisted a crushing hug on Kibum from the side. "Hyung!" he cried. "Life is so unfair."

"Isn't it?" Kibum agreed, a small laugh ghosting out of his throat.

Life _was_ unfair. It was unfair and capricious and didn't care how many times it tripped you up, how many times you fell. But, as he looked around at his friends, his darling friends, who had dropped everything to come and comfort him as soon as he'd asked, Kibum supposed life could be a lot worse.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite that moment of clarity, the better part of a week passed by with Kibum clocking none of it. He went to work as usual, slept through the weekend, went to work again, and ate when his body or Taemin told him to. He didn't take note of how much greyer the skies seemed, how his gaze would stray to his phone, or Jinki's worried tiptoeing around him.

But when Thursday came and went without him stopping at Blue Night and Friday morning rolled around, something in Kibum's brain snapped back to life. Though it was certainly possible for him to avoid Jonghyun forever – and part of him, the part involved with survival instincts and self-preservation, desperately wanted to – it came down to the simple fact that avoiding Jonghyun did no one, least of all himself, any favors.

Jonghyun hadn't contacted him again in the interim, which was both a surprise and not. But he understood the lack of communication; where could they really go from here?

Kibum fiddled with his phone all the way to work as he rode his morning bus, typing up a message and then deleting it immediately, only to start all over again. By the time he arrived at his building he still hadn't come down on either side of a decision.

He wanted to say something to Jonghyun – anything, really – to show that he wasn't angry and that he'd meant it when he'd said they could be friends. What was the line between overly flippant and flat-out funereal? They'd left things on quite a down note, while pretending that they weren't, and Kibum didn't know how to open the lines of communication again without sounding either too glib or too bleak.

As he approached the doors to Heartwood, he imagined Jonghyun taking this same route through the building the week before and how difficult it must have been, first coming with his father to meet someone he didn't want to meet and then coming back on his own to give up someone he didn't want to give up.

Comparatively, maybe Kibum didn't have that much of a struggle after all. He typed, _Good morning, friend. Have a good day at work_ , and added an emoji with a small smile on its face at the end. Not letting himself think too much about it, Kibum sent the text and put his phone back in his bag.

In the grand scheme of things, in the light of a bright morning, Kibum told himself this was something he could deal with. After all, he didn't even know Jonghyun that well; how could he really say he was in love? It was the loss of hope and the potential of something brilliant and new that stung so much, not Jonghyun himself. It was Kibum pinning so many of his own expectations on what could have been and losing all of it at once that had made him feel so forlorn, not Jonghyun himself. It was letting go of all the shimmering fantasies he had concocted in his own mind that he mourned, not Jonghyun himself.

Kibum told himself these things over and over, hoping they would stick.

He walked into Heartwood to find Jinki already at the reception desk, as usual, but today looking much worse for the wear. His hair was stuck out at odd angles, like he'd attempted to tear it out, and there was a flustered look all about him.

"I can't find Hyunmoo," Jinki wailed, when he saw Kibum. "I've been searching and searching for him for days; I've talked to every contact I know in the central office, but he's gone off the grid. Archers never go off the grid; that's how we know how to give them their assignments and their Arrows, and I can't find him."

Though this was not great news, the more pressing matter seemed to be the state of Jinki's sanity. Kibum said, "Have you slept at all since you got here? What was it, well over a week ago?"

"No," said Jinki. "Should I? This is the longest stretch I've been down here. This body is weird. I feel weird? I can't find Hyunmoo."

"Get up," said Kibum in a stern tone that brooked no argument.

Unused to being ordered around by Kibum, Jinki stood immediately.

Kibum pointed a determined finger towards Hyunmoo's office. "Go and lie down on the sofa in there and sleep. You're not allowed to get up for at least four hours." He glanced at his watch. "Your time starts now."

"Oh," Jinki said in surprise, but followed the direction without question. He scuttled to the inner office and flopped down on the sofa, peeking out once to make sure Kibum saw that he was doing as he was told.

Kibum moved to close the office doors but decided against it. He wanted to keep an eye on Jinki and make sure he got at least a few hours of sleep. He didn't actually know what their physiological systems were like, people from the "central office", but anyone in human form presumably had to follow some rules of basic human function.

"Ah, seriously," Kibum muttered to himself, "what has my life become?" Two weeks ago, none of this line of thinking would have made a lick of sense, but now it seemed near to normal.

That Hyunmoo had disappeared, probably to some remote beach locale where there were tropical drinks aplenty and no cell signals, was a definite setback; somehow Kibum had felt as if Hyunmoo returning might get CEO Jang's threat out of the picture entirely. But even then, it wasn't as though Hyunmoo could force Jonghyun's father to change his tune. Even if CEO Jang retracted everything she'd said, it still wouldn't magically fix everything.

Kibum settled behind the reception desk with a quiet sigh, a comfortable spot that he had gotten used to since he had started working here, though there was definitely something to be said about the leather wingback Hyunmoo used at his desk. Kibum unpacked the few things he needed from his bag, including his cell phone, which was alight with a text notification.

It took a few seconds for him to work up the nerve to tap it open, but he managed it in the end, after a few centering breaths.

_Thank you_ , it said, with the same smiley face Kibum had used. _How is your day going so far?_

Kibum glanced up into the inner office where Jinki was curled up on the sofa. "A bit strangely," he murmured, but typed, _I've had to make my assistant take a nap at 8:30AM, that's how my day is going_.

The response was only a long series of question marks, which made Kibum snicker quietly.

_He was up all night working on a project for me_ , Kibum explained. _I think it made him go a bit crazy_.

Jonghyun wrote, _I never pegged you as a slave driver! Isn't this a violation of the Labor Standards Act??_

_I didn't even ask him to!_ Kibum argued. _He did it to himself!_

_Is that what he'll say if I ask him? Put him on the phone!_

_No!_ Kibum replied. _I told you, I had to make him take a nap._

_A likely story…_

And just like that, without conscious thought, they found their footing again. It was easier than Kibum had expected, given the line of caution tape now suspended between them, but certainly not unwelcome. It was like talking to any of his other friends, where poking fun at each other was more often the norm than not.

Jonghyun disappeared offline after that, which was unsurprising, as it was morning and he ran a coffee shop. And sometimes a multinational conglomerate. Kibum tried not to think about it, busying himself for a couple of hours with the regular tasks he'd used to do before he'd been made to undertake the responsibility of heading the entire business.

Kibum was in the middle of replying to an email inquiry when he heard Jinki's diffident voice from the doorway of Hyunmoo's office say, "…Can I come out?" He looked far less crazed than he'd had at the start of the day, which at least gave some credence to Kibum's theory about how Jinki's physiology worked.

"Has it been four hours?" Kibum threw back.

"…No?"

"How do you feel?" Kibum asked.

Jinki took this as permission to leave Hyunmoo's office. "Much better. Sleeping is fun," he said. "I think I should do it more often."

Curious, Kibum asked, "What do you do all night? Have you just been staying in here the whole time?"

"Yeah," said Jinki, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. "Sometimes I help the night cleaners, the other day I redesigned the Heartwood website, and did you know there are live streaming videos of otters at lots of different aquariums on the Internet?" He seemed the most enthusiastic about the last one, fists scrunched up in front of his face.

"I did know that," said Kibum. "How come you don't go back to the central office or whatever? Why do you stay down here when, uh, there's no… business? It must be tiring for you."

Jinki shrugged. "I like it here." His gaze dropped to the floor and he added, rather reluctantly, "And also I'm kind of in trouble at the central office because of… all of this" – he gestured widely to their surroundings – "even though Hyunmoo wrote a nice letter like he said he would before he left to tell them it was a big misunderstanding. The others keep giving me these looks. My supervisor especially…"

"Oh," said Kibum. "That must be unpleasant."

Again, Jinki shrugged his shoulders, like it couldn't be helped.  

On a hunch, Kibum said, "Do you want a hug?"

"Yes!" said Jinki, looking even more excited than when he'd mentioned otter cams. When Kibum obliged, Jinki said, "Hugs are fun."

Before Kibum had even fully processed what he was going to say, the words left his mouth, "Do you need a place to stay?"

"Uh?" said Jinki.

Kibum didn't actually have much to offer. He and Taemin shared a two-bedroom flat, with both bedrooms obviously occupied, and what sleeping quarters he could grant were the living room couch or a sleeping bag on the floor. Still, it seemed wrong to make Jinki live in the office all by himself, night cleaners notwithstanding. "If you need a place to sleep," Kibum said, "you can stay with me for a while."

A slow, thankful smile spread across Jinki's face as he realized Kibum was serious. "That's so kind. I don't think any other archers do anything like that for their administrative specialists."

"Well, you've given me the entirety of Gucci's fall collection, so it's only fair," said Kibum, feeling himself turning a little red, uncomfortable with the open gratitude on Jinki's face. "Anyway, it's really not much. It's either the couch or a sleeping bag. Or blankets on the floor."

"They all sound good," said Jinki.

"Okay," said Kibum, not entirely convinced he'd feel the same way if presented this offer, but he and Jinki were very different people, by a wide margin. "Because if we're going to figure out where President Jun is, we need you at full capacity, and that's not happening if you're staying awake all night cleaning and watching animal videos."

"Oh, is that what sleeping is for?"

Kibum narrowed his eyes at Jinki. "How is it that you know how to write code for a website but you don't know how sleeping works?"  

Jinki thought about this for a moment, then raised his shoulders unhelpfully. "I don't know. I'll try to find out for you?"

With a short laugh and a shake of his head, Kibum said, "Don't worry about it." His mouth screwed to one side as a thought occurred to him. "Actually, there is something you could do for me."

After about a minute, Kibum sent Jonghyun a photo of a smiling Jinki holding up a handwritten sign that said, _My boss is the best and I'm absolutely not writing this under duress_.

"Why are we doing this?" Jinki asked, as he put down the paper.

Kibum opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly found it difficult to explain. After going full throttle and then being forced to screech to a halt, the only happy medium in his relationship to Jonghyun seemed to be upbeat ribbing. The door to anything deeper than that was closed, and walking out on it altogether was something neither of them wanted. If it seemed a little forced to send each other silly messages, it probably was, but they had to start over somewhere.

"I'm trying to be friends with Jonghyun," he said. "I don't know how to… We're pretending everything's fine until it really is."

"Oh. Does that work?" Jinki asked.

"I don't know," said Kibum. "I guess we'll see."

His phone vibrated with a couple of return messages; first, three laughing emojis in a row, and then: _The only thing you're missing in the picture is today's newspaper, then you'll have a proper ransom note._

_Kibum's assistant!_ said an additional text. _Blink twice if you want me to call the police!_

"Heh," Jinki snickered, when Kibum showed him the screen. "He's funny."

"Yeah," Kibum said fondly, a half-second too late to keep it out of his voice.

It didn't escape Jinki's notice, and he said, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No," said Kibum, with a smile.

 

***

 

It was a slow day, by all accounts. Emails had been answered, phone calls returned, and no meetings until mid-afternoon. On these types of days, Hyunmoo often allowed Kibum a long leash and didn't mind letting him leave for an extended lunch break or a coffee run. And since Kibum was in charge now…

"Want to go for a walk?" he said to Jinki.

Sitting idly in the office wasn't doing Kibum any favors, and he'd already finished his planning for the afternoon meeting. All he would end up doing was thinking about someone he wasn't supposed to think about or moping about someone he wasn't supposed to mope about. And if he went off by himself, he'd just end up thinking and moping anyway, only in an outdoor setting.

"Can we?" Jinki asked, looking around the office, like it hadn't always been just the two of them in there.

"Yeah, I mean, what's the worst that could happen? I get fired?" Kibum said. "Spoiler alert, I'm not going to fire myself." 

So they closed up shop for the time being and set off, picking their way across a few intersections to get some street food that Jinki had never had before. They wandered a little, and whether by conscious choice or coincidence, Kibum found that his feet had led them to the park where he and Jonghyun had had their first unofficial date on Jonghyun's fifteen-minute break.

The memory lit an involuntary smile on Kibum's face, but it faded quickly.

It was either tempting or defying fate – whichever one it turned out to be he didn't care – but Kibum pointed to the same bench he'd been sitting at on that day and said to Jinki, "Let's have a rest."

He must have a streak of masochism in him, Kibum thought, to force himself to relive the recollection. Then again, he could argue that he was replacing the mental association to Jonghyun with a new one; maybe hereafter he wouldn't think of this as his and Jonghyun's bench, but rather think of it as part of the time he'd introduced Jinki to tteokbokki.

But, of course, that would be too much for the universe to cede to him. Even getting it to leave him alone for just a little bit was asking too much.

"Kibum-ssi," said a voice that was all too familiar, one that gave him heart palpitations he could feel all the way down to the soles of his feet.

Kibum raised his head in the direction of the voice, wondering if this was a gift or a punishment for coming back to this spot. He waved at Jonghyun, who, standing awkwardly a few steps away, took it as a sign to approach.

"I didn't expect to see you here…" said Jonghyun.

"We're just out taking our lunch," Kibum explained, gesturing to Jinki, who had jumped to his feet. "Oh, you remember Jinki?"

"Kibum's assistant," Jonghyun said to Jinki with a wide smile. "You're alive and well; I was worried from this morning."

Kibum laughed. "I told you I wasn't doing anything nefarious. And here you were, doubting me and treating me like a common criminal. He _did_ have to take a nap from overworking himself."

"Yeah, I'm sure," said Jonghyun, grinning as he narrowed his eyes at Kibum in a facsimile of suspicion. "Why don't you let him speak for himself? Jinki-ssi, what is your boss really up to? He has guilt written all over his face."

"I think that's just his face?" Jinki said.

Kibum stamped his foot and let out an overdone gasp. "Unbelievable. This is what I get for being a kind and caring boss?"  

Jonghyun laughed at him, a sight from which Kibum was careful to clandestinely avert his gaze lest he get blinded by its light, then said, "Okay, I believe you, I believe you."

"Don't patronize me," Kibum grumbled through a smile he couldn't help. 

"No, it's true," said Jinki, finally corroborating his story, mostly by oversharing. "I didn't realize how tired I was from working the whole night, but he ordered me go to sleep. And I felt a lot better after that, so I'm very grateful for the sleep. Plus, he gave me a place to stay."

"Oh?" said Jonghyun, looking slightly discombobulated by the sudden detour.

"I'm just putting him up for a little while," said Kibum, unsure how much he should say about it. Less seemed like the judicious way to go. "The… conditions at his current place are… uh," he said, glancing at Jinki, who seemed disinclined to pitch in, "unsatisfactory."

"Oh, you really are a kind and caring boss," said Jonghyun. "Now I feel bad for making fun of you."

"That's right, you should!" said Kibum. He put a hand to his chest. "Ah, vindication feels so good. And for you to have insinuated that I ever had anything less than the best interests of my assistant at heart. This must be _so_ embarrassing for you. So embarrassing."

"All right, all right, calm down," Jonghyun said, palms up.

They shared a soft, amused smile, their gazes connecting for a fraction of a second too long.

"Anyway," Kibum said, breaking it quickly and rubbing a finger under his nose, "it's not that much, really. Just a couch in the living room."

"Or the floor!" Jinki added.     

"Or the floor," Kibum agreed.

Jonghyun took a breath to speak, hesitated, and then forged ahead with, "You know, I have an empty guest room at my place. I'm happy to have you stay there, Jinki-ssi, if you want."

"Really?" both Kibum and Jinki said at the same time.

"Well, uh, I know we're not close, but you… last week, you were… I mean, any friend of Kibum's…" Jonghyun babbled and trailed off. He seemed to regret having said anything at all, but then reversed course and doubled down. "Yes, you're welcome to use the extra room."

"Wow," said Jinki, clearly touched. "First Kibum and now you… I never expected humans to be so generous."

"He means people," Kibum cut in swiftly, with a stealthy smack to the back of Jinki's arm. "People. He comes from a… remote village. They speak a… nonstandard dialect. That's why he sounds funny sometimes. And I think maybe he was raised by dogs?" The last bit probably wasn't necessary, but panic had made Kibum put it in.

"Oh!" Jonghyun said. "That reminds me, I do have a dog. Hopefully that's not a problem for you?"

"I love dogs," said Jinki, his eyes going starry.

A pang of jealousy vibrated in Kibum's chest that Jinki would get to meet Roo, who was so important to Jonghyun. But then, his brain reminded him, he was in no position to be jealous. It wasn't like he had a claim on anything in Jonghyun's life.

His mouth curled in a rueful smile, Kibum said, "Well, I guess that's settled, then."

"Maybe come to Blue Night after work, and we can go from there?" Jonghyun suggested. "Okay then, I'll see you later. I have to get back to work." He waved and walked off.

Kibum and Jinki watched him go in silence, and when he was out of sight, Jinki said, "Is _this_ a good idea?"

"I don't know," said Kibum.

He had lost control of his life about a week ago and the universe seemed to have no intention of giving it back. Like a boat that had lost its moorings he had no idea which direction he should even try to head in, completely stranded at sea. He was just trying to stay afloat as best he could, and probably that included making decisions involving Jonghyun that someone a little more stable might shy away from.

Kibum glanced at his watch, noting that his next meeting was due in just over an hour, and was about to propose that they start heading back to the office when a thought struck him.

"We have to go shopping," he said.

"What for?" said Jinki.

"You can't show up to Jonghyun's with nothing but the clothes on your back. _He_ doesn't know you're from the central office, and you nearly gave yourself away back there."

"Oh, right. I shouldn't do that. I'll be more careful. What do I need?"

Kibum mentally ran through a checklist of things he'd pack if he was going to stay over at a friend's place for a few days, and lost count after twenty-two. "Ugh, a lot. Various changes of clothes – you can't wear that suit every day, especially not to sleep. Socks, shoes. Toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, moisturizer… Oh, most important, underwear."

Jinki glanced down at himself and said, "Do I need that?"

" _Yes_ ," said Kibum, throwing him a dubious look. It turned slightly hopeful as he asked, "Wait, we can't claim this as a business expense, right?"

Thinking about this for a minute, Jinki finally came down on the side of, "No, I don't think so. It's not for the business."

Kibum could have argued that new clothes for his assistant might go a long way to upkeep Heartwood's reputation – or whatever had been the excuse for all his new suits – but it still wouldn't cover the bare necessities, which were definite necessities, no matter Jinki's thoughts about it.

He almost started in the direction of a nearby mall, but remembered his meeting. "I have that client at three; I don't think we have enough time to go now, but…" He pulled out his phone and dialed, gesturing for Jinki to wait a minute. "Taeminnie… you're done with classes for the day, right? I need a favor."

 

***

 

Taemin strolled into Heartwood about forty minutes later from his dance studio and stretched out his upturned palms to Kibum before a hello could even be said. "Compensation for all potential purchases, please," he said with a twinkly smile. "Also, service fee for providing service, convenience fee for coming at short notice, transportation, food—"

"Food?" Kibum complained while at the same time bringing out his wallet because there was no way he was getting out of this. "You're bringing Jinki to buy clothes and a toothbrush."

"I get snacky when I shop," said Taemin. He sifted through the bills Kibum slapped in his hand and said, "A bit more snacky than that. What? If I'm eating I have to treat Jinki-ssi too, obviously; you don't want me to be rude, right?"

"I don't really need—" Jinki tried to say.

Taemin shook his head vigorously to make him stop. "I don't want to be rude." He seemed to then hear what he'd just said, and added, with a polite dip of his head, "Hello, I'm Taemin. Nice to meet you. I read your book."

"My…?" Jinki said.

"The rulebook," Kibum clarified, with an eye roll, knowing full well Taemin had gotten just about as far as he had.

"Oh! What did you think?" asked Jinki.

"It's very thick," Taemin said in an agreeable tone, like he was paying a compliment.

"Yes, it is," Jinki agreed happily.

Though this was an arrangement made out of necessity, Kibum wondered if it wasn't actually one of his better ideas. Taemin said and did the weirdest things sometimes, but still managed to function as an adult within the bounds of society, more or less; if anyone was equipped to teach Jinki how to pass as relatively sound of mind, maybe Taemin was it.  

"Okay, kids," Kibum said, ushering them out of the office with a printed checklist of what to buy. "Don't spend it all on ice-cream. Seriously, Taemin. He needs clothes."

"What did you say? Spend it all on ice-cream?" Taemin called over his shoulder. "Got it."

Kibum rolled his eyes again, though there was no one there to appreciate what he had to put up with on a daily basis. There had to be enough parts to form at least one grown-up brain between Taemin and Jinki, one and a half if they were lucky, and enough of a guilty conscience on Jinki's part to _try_ to do what they were supposed to do. It was no use fretting about it though; whether they were actually sticking to the plan or Taemin had whisked them off to Lotte World instead, it was out of Kibum's hands now.

He conducted his client meeting as he was supposed to and then finished up notes and plans for next time, feeling surprisingly pleased with how he had managed all the business stuff so far.

It was past the end of the work day by the time Taemin and Jinki returned, wearing matching shirts and giggling together like five year-olds, which Kibum guessed was the result of eating their weight in sugar. That they had managed to come back in one piece was already half the battle won, and looking thick as thieves, no less, which Kibum wasn't sure how to feel about. They seemed the types that might gang up on him.  

While Jinki gingerly set down their purchases on the sofa in Hyunmoo's office, Taemin slammed the checklist on Kibum's desk in triumph, each item crossed off in blue pen and a happy stick figure jumping in the bottom corner of the paper. "We did it. The whole thing." He exchanged a high five with Jinki.

"Congratulations," said Kibum. "Is there any change?"

"No-oo," said Taemin in various octaves, which was not at all suspicious. "You predicted the amount we would spend exactly. You're so smart, hyung."

Kibum raised an eyebrow, unmoved. "Do you think I'm Minho? Change and receipts."

Taemin huffed, but dug out of his pocket a handful of crumpled bills and placed them on the desk too. "Receipts are in the bags," he said, riffling through one of the small ones. "Look, we even thought of you and bought you these Power Rangers stickers. And originally, candy too, but we accidentally ate it. Ah, we bought so much, I'm so tired." He plopped down onto the sofa in one fluid, wet noodle move. "I think I should be compensated for this. For… being so tired. What kind of fee can I charge for this? Jinki-hyung, help me."

"Energy surcharge?" Jinki said.

"Yeah," said Taemin, pointing at him. "That."

"No," said Kibum. He enjoyed Taemin's groan of disappointment, then said, "Get your stuff together; we have to go soon and meet Jonghyun."

Taemin's eyes narrowed. "Am I coming too?"

"If you want," said Kibum, though he could see Taemin was thinking about being difficult about it. He appreciated where it was coming from, the loyalty that had led to Taemin developing a minor vendetta against Jonghyun for being complicit in making Kibum upset, but he didn't want Taemin to take it too far either. Get on Taemin's bad side – which honestly wasn't easy to do – and he'd blank you forever, a horrific fate Kibum would wish on no one. "But if you come, you have to be good. Promise."

"Hyung, please. I'm an angel."

"Okay, but if you say anything mean, I'm going to punch you in the kidneys."

Folding his arms around his middle protectively, Taemin said, "No, I need them! Your punishment doesn't match the crime! If anything, all I would say to him is that his art collection lacked a cohesive theme and was full of predictable juxtapositions. And you're worried about _me_ being mean?"

"Since when were you qualified to critique art? Do you even know what words you're saying? And anyway, it's called a preemptive strike," Kibum said, swooping in for a quick jab in Taemin's side to send the point home, only to get judo-chopped in the forearm. "Oww," he yelled through a startled laugh. "That hurt, you monster!"

Taemin clutched his tummy tighter and shirked away from Kibum's retaliating swipe. "Nobody touches my kidneys except me!"

"You don't even know where they are! They're in the back, you idiot!"

Jinki watched all of this unfold with keen interest. "You guys are weird."

"This coming from the administrative specialist," Kibum muttered, and had to spare a brief moment to reevaluate his life, considering. He rallied by clapping his hands together and bossing the others around. "Okay, let's get all these things packed and ready."

One of the purchases had been a small rolling bag, into which they now had to attempt to stuff all the other purchases. After cutting the tags and peeling price stickers off everything, the items were alternately folded neatly or simply tossed, basketball-style, into the bag, depending on who was involved at any given moment.

"When you're traveling," said Kibum, with accompanying visual demonstration, "you want to roll your socks up and stick them in your shoes. That way you save space and the things that go together stay together."

Jinki nodded appreciatively at the lesson while Taemin, looking harassed, said, "It's all just going to come out again anyway."

Eventually, with a lot of haranguing and rank-pulling and Taemin having had enough, Jinki's luggage was ready to go, and if inspected, would not look like it had undergone an internal implosion.

Kibum texted Jonghyun with an _On our way_ and ushered the other two out the door. Blue Night was about a five-minute walk from the Heartwood office, and they set out into the street, a cool spring breeze swirling around them.

It felt slightly strange coming to Blue Night in the evening and on a day that wasn't Thursday. Though Kibum knew, logically, that there was nothing fundamentally different about it, he still had the sensation of familiarity mingled with foreignness, like coming back to see the childhood home you'd left years ago, just to see what remained and what lived only in your memories.

As they stood waiting for a light to turn at the corner of an intersection, across the street, the coffee shop's glass front revealed only a smattering of seated customers inside, and Jonghyun wiping down a table, sleeves rolled up and his expression placid. For as mundane a scene as it was, Kibum's breath caught in his throat, struck again by the thought that Jonghyun was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. If Kibum were alone, he might have stopped for as long of a moment as he could afford to simply look, to selfishly savor the sight and save it.

But as it was, the pedestrian light turned green and Kibum kept going, waving to catch Jonghyun's eye as they got closer. Jonghyun glanced up, his mouth curling into a soft smile of recognition, and as he walked over to the door to pull it open for them, his gaze didn't stray from Kibum's face.

"Hi, you're all here," said Jonghyun as he held the door open and offered to take Jinki's bag. "Come in. Taemin-ssi, you've come too?"

"Nice to see you again," Taemin said with a smile.

To Kibum's surprise, he sounded one hundred percent devoid of sarcasm. Kibum happened to catch Jinki's eye then, Jinki's brow furrowing as he seemed to also be wondering where the sincerity had come from.

"You too," said Jonghyun. "I keep telling Kibum I need to take you two out to dinner to thank you for helping me stay calm at my art show. You'll come, right?"

"Definitely! I'm always hungry," said Taemin agreeably. "But, of course you shouldn't feel obligated. It's already enough that we got to see your work. I think I didn't get a chance to tell you, but it was fantastic. Such a dynamic and coherent collection."

Kibum searched and searched, straining to find the slightest lilt in Taemin's tone that would read facetious, but found nothing. He felt like he might be going a little insane, or that they had stepped into an alternate universe without anyone telling him.

Blushing slightly, Jonghyun bowed his head in thanks. "No, no, I would still like to. And Jinki-ssi, you should come too. The more the merrier, right?"

"Okay," said Jinki, smiling somewhat vacuously, as if he'd only just tuned into the conversation.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jonghyun said, bustling over to the counter and picking up a couple of small paper boxes with Blue Night's logo printed on them. He handed one to Jinki, who hugged it to his chest excitedly, and then held the other between Kibum and Taemin, saying, "The last cookies from today; I saved them for you. Sorry, I didn't know you were coming, Taemin-ssi, or I would have made you a box too."

"Don't worry," said Taemin, accepting the box for them, "I would have eaten Kibum-hyung's anyway."

"Stop giving things away," Kibum fussed at Jonghyun. "How can you make money like this?"

Taemin swatted his arm in reproach. "If the man wants to give us cookies, let him give us cookies."

"I like cookies," said Jinki.

"See?" said Taemin. "Let us live, Kibum-hyung."

"Fine, fine, fine," said Kibum, throwing up his hands. He gave Jonghyun a look of mock warning. "But I hope you realize what a dangerous precedent you're setting here. Taeminnie is literally _always_ hungry and now he knows he can get free food from you."

Taemin nodded his agreement.

Jonghyun's lips curved into an amused smile. "He's always welcome," he said to Kibum.

"Ah, I've been sucking up to the wrong hyung all this time," said Taemin. He inched away from Kibum and closer to Jonghyun. His expression turned enigmatic. "There will be… changes."

"This is going to lead somewhere weird," Kibum said to Jonghyun. "Just take Jinki and go while you still can.  I'm going to take this idiot home."

Jonghyun laughed. "Okay. Come on, Jinki-ssi, my car is parked in the back. Let's get you settled in, shall we?"

They bid each other goodbye, and Jonghyun led Jinki out the back door while Kibum and Taemin left through the front. They walked together to the bus stop, sharing cookies, in a pleasant silence that continued until they got on the bus and sat down together in the back.

The question that had nagged at the back of Kibum's mind all the way from Blue Night up till now finally made its way out his mouth. "How come you didn't tell him his art sucked?"

"Because I treasure my kidneys," said Taemin. "I mean, what if I need to sell them someday on the black market? I need them in perfect condition to get the best value! Nobody wants to buy a bruised kidney."

"Idiot," Kibum said fondly.

Taemin only shrugged, not disputing the charge. The bus rumbled on for the length of a street or two, and he added, quietly, "And… I saw the way he looked at you."

Kibum's heart skipped a beat and nearly fell down. "And?"

"That's all," said Taemin. He smiled the gentlest of smiles, and put his head on Kibum's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Saturday dawned grey and gloomy. Raindrops dashed themselves to pieces against Kibum's window, the loud, unending spatter a rude awakening. Kibum rubbed his eyes, half his mind still swimming in a dream already forgotten, and stretched unhappily. He rolled over propping his head on his arms and narrowed a bleary gaze at the window. It was streaked with rain and nearly opaque, and he felt as if he was getting permission to be moody today. He'd spent most of yesterday, after all, being publicly optimistic and put-together, and he was feeling the wearying effects of it now.

But even if the sky was on his side for once, Jonghyun wasn't.

_Isn't this weather the best?_ said his text.

_What kind of madman are you?_ Kibum replied.

He sat up, arranging his pillow behind him against the headboard, awake now but not wanting to get out of bed, and waited for a response.

_Rain is great! I love rain. It's so calming._

_Then you must be feeling quite happy today_ , typed Kibum. He thought about being bitter about it, that Jonghyun could be happy while he wallowed in bed and probably for the rest of the day, but couldn't muster up the energy to form that emotion.

_No, not really_ , Jonghyun admitted without hesitation. _Sometimes it's nice to feel melancholy._

How it was possible to feel both better and worse at the same time was not something Kibum could grasp at the moment, but he felt it nonetheless. While his little bout of misery enjoyed having company, Kibum didn't like the idea either of Jonghyun being anything but happy. And he didn't dare ask what the melancholy mood was about. What if it was about him? What if it wasn't?

So, rather than going anywhere near it, Kibum backtracked and ran in an entirely different and much safer direction. _Thanks again for letting Jinki stay with you. Did he give you any trouble?_

_He's the most polite houseguest I've ever had. In fact, he insisted on coming to Blue Night with me to "earn his keep." I have him doing some light cleaning, is that okay??_

Kibum laughed a little to himself. _If it's fine with both of you, I don't see why not. I promise I won't tell anyone you're harboring an unpaid laborer. Probably._

_This feels like blackmail territory…_ Jonghyun replied with an emoji that raised a skeptical eyebrow at Kibum. _I'm going to stop talking to you now._

Smiling in spite of himself, Kibum looked out the window and watched the rain for a while. It didn't seem quite as depressing as it had five minutes ago. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and officially got up.

He padded into the bathroom, stuck his toothbrush in his mouth, and came back out to sit in the living room while he brushed his teeth, feeling too lazy to stand at the sink. Taemin was already up – awake, but lounging on the couch – and playing with his phone.

"I told Jinki-hyung I'd take him out for lunch today," said Taemin, not bothering to look up. "We're getting ice-cream. You want?"

"Didn't you already get ice-cream yesterday?" Kibum asked through a mouthful of foam.

"It's a brand new day," said Taemin, making a showy arc through the air with his hand. His gaze flicked up to Kibum. "I'm meeting him at Blue Night in a bit. I don't think he knows how to take the subway yet."

"Okay, have fun," said Kibum.

Taemin's mouth twisted to one side. "You don't want to come?"

Kibum walked back to the bathroom to rinse his mouth out and use it as an excuse to hide. "No…" he said finally, "I think I just want to stay home. Make some new candles, maybe… take a bath…"

"You can just meet us at the ice-cream place if you don't want to see Jonghyun."

Either Taemin was more insightful than he looked or Kibum was just that transparent. He guessed it was the latter. Sighing, Kibum wiped his mouth and sat back down on the couch. "It's not that I don't want to…" he said and didn't finish.

It was about self-preservation. His wants pulled in different directions, splitting him straight down the middle. Give him a few days – a few days and he'd be able to patch himself back up and go about his business. Though he hadn't mentioned it to anyone, yesterday had been hard.

Logically, he knew that facing situations like these head-on was probably the best solution. Avoidance would only make him fear it more. And it wasn't like he'd never had a one-sided love before; obviously he wasn't unique in this. Literally thousands of love songs were about this kind of situation; literally thousands of people went about their lives suffering in quiet with their unrequited feelings. He was just one in a sea of many.

But he needed time to get there, to a place where it would just be a dull throb in the back of his mind, always there, but not front and center anymore. Seeing Jonghyun yesterday and acting like everything was fine and nothing had happened – possible, definitely. He'd pulled it off. He'd even been the one to initiate it to begin with. Sustaining it two days in a row was a taller order, though.

"I just need… a break," said Kibum. "From socializing."

"Okay," said Taemin reluctantly. "But if I come back and find you watching _Notting Hill_ for the sixty-seventh time, I will burn that DVD right in front of you."

"It's high-quality cinema, you uneducated boor," Kibum said, though he was too lethargic to put any real bite behind it.

Taemin kicked him with equal apathy and went to his room to change, giving Kibum the opportunity to stretch himself out on the length of the couch. When Taemin came back out, he made a brief stop in the kitchen, then over to Kibum. He dropped a slice of bread on Kibum's chest. "Don't forget to eat."

"Argh, crumbs," Kibum complained.

"Bye, hyung!" Taemin said and sailed out the door.

Kibum ate the bread, since it was already there, and carefully brushed what crumbs he could see off himself and into a cupped hand, dumping them out in the kitchen. He made himself a coffee, then leaned against the kitchen cupboards for a while, aimless, looking around.

He took stock of his life. He was young, in reasonably good health, he had a steady paycheck and a roof over his head. His friends could always be counted on in good times and bad. He lived in an era where wifi existed, where space rockets could travel to Mars, where he could buy just about anything he needed without ever leaving his house. What he didn't have was, then, comparatively, only a small thing. And if he couldn't have it, at least he could still live it vicariously through other people.

Kibum took his coffee to the living room and put _Notting Hill_ on. Taemin wouldn't be back for at least a couple of hours, so as long as Kibum didn't just hit the play button again as soon as the movie ended, he'd be safe from Taemin's pyromania.

The opening scene felt as familiar as a warm memory, and Kibum settled into the couch with Anna and William's story unfolding before him. For the next hundred and twenty-four minutes, at least, he would have something like love in his life.

 

***

 

Equanimity was easy. So long as Kibum didn't go looking for trouble, perfect serenity stood within reach.

He made a point of not asking Jinki anything about what it was like staying at Jonghyun's – not what it looked like, or what kind of things he stocked in his fridge, or if Roo had taken to Jinki at all – not even what neighborhood it was in.

Every time his curiosity burned, Kibum snuffed it out with intense concentration on literally anything else in the room, like aggressively pruning potted plants down to their roots ("It's good for regrowth," he'd told Jinki, the day before throwing it out) or reorganizing the tea in the staff room (first alphabetically, then by personal taste preference; it had last been left in order of caffeine content). It was his coping system and it was totally working.

There had been the momentary weakness of adding a news alert on his phone for anything having to do with Orbit International, but anything that came in had so far been harmless industry reports, boring at worst and made absolutely no mention of Jonghyun.

But other than that, Kibum stood strong. He had made it to mid-week with this foolproof scheme and even felt composed and optimistic enough to resume his Blue Night schedule, a trip he definitely couldn't skip anymore anyway, as it wouldn't do to look like he was avoiding Jonghyun. Even though he sort of was. But nobody else needed to know that, least of all Jonghyun, who seemed to be doing just as well, or better, at moving on.

He sent Kibum texts like, _Someone just tried to steal a bottle of caramel sauce out of my hands?? Be honest, was it you who sent them?_

Kibum would be lying if he said it didn't test his resolve every single time he saw his phone light up with a text from Jonghyun. He would be lying bald-faced, egregiously, and through his teeth to say it didn't affect him. But nobody asked him, so he didn't have to lie.

He began to look upon it as a challenge. If Jonghyun could do it – never mind that he had a magic spell on him that made it easy to not have feelings for Kibum anymore; he was so lucky – then Kibum could too. If he thought of it as a competition, albeit one Jonghyun had no idea he was participating in, then the stakes were different. If he made it into a game, his heart didn't have to be involved anymore.

_How dare you_ , he typed. _I can't believe you would think such things of me. And anyway they're supposed to do it when you're not look—Oh, I may have said too much._

Jonghyun sent him back an entire row of appalled faces. _Kibum, if you're that hard up for caramel sauce, you know you can always just ask. I won't judge._

_But where's the fun in that?_ Kibum asked.

_You and I have very different ideas of fun… Petty theft doesn't even crack my top 20,_ wrote Jonghyun. _What else do you find fun? Embezzlement?_

Kibum texted him a shifty-eyed emoji.

"Kibum?" said Jinki from the reception desk as he peered into the inner office. "You're making that face again."

"Oh," said Kibum, and put his phone down. He also stopped smiling, which he hadn't realized he'd been doing.

That was the other part of his system, getting Jinki to keep him in check. Given half the chance he'd text Jonghyun all day – it would be _rude_ not to reply, after all, and Jonghyun usually started it – but obviously it was not ideal for the whole getting-on-with-his-life plan he'd implemented.

And apparently he made these "still in love with Jonghyun" faces whenever they spoke, which was also not ideal. He didn't even know he was making them, couldn't feel the change in himself; it was just a natural, autonomic response – breathing air, blinking, smiling because of Jonghyun.

Jinki came into the office and said, "Do you want me to take your phone for a while?"

Pushing it across the desk, Kibum said, "That might be best." He regretted it as soon as he relinquished the phone, but had enough self-restraint not to snatch it back as he heard it ding with a return text. Kibum sat on his hands and said, "Jinki, have you ever been in love?"

"No," said Jinki, slipping Kibum's phone into his pocket and out of sight. He appeared wholly unperturbed by the idea of missing out, which was fair, seeing as love, as Kibum could attest to, was ninety-five percent agony. "But I've seen a lot of people in love. Does that help?"

Not knowing where he had even been going with the question, Kibum asked another, "What happens to the people who get shot with the Arrow? Do they stay in love forever?"

Jinki seemed to struggle with the answer, his body twisting a little to the side as he thought of what to say. "Sometimes," he said hesitantly, the word eking out of him like it didn't want to be said. After another few seconds of internal wrestling, he added, "Forever isn't always guaranteed, just like any other people who fall in love naturally."

It was clear to Kibum at once why Jinki had been so reluctant with his response and part of him wished he'd never asked the question, though it was largely overshadowed by the other part that nearly burst at the seams with a renewed and excessive sense of hope.

Hope was a fool's game. He knew that as a cold, hard fact. But cold, hard facts were no match for the inkling of something better.

"Don't," said Jinki.

"I know," Kibum sighed.

What was he going to do with that information? Just wait around hoping that Jonghyun and Eungyu would run their course and conveniently be there when – if – it ended?

"I'm being really pathetic, aren't I?" Kibum said.

"Uhh…" said Jinki, which was confirmation in and of itself.

Kibum took a deep breath. What would help would be having despotic control over his feelings; there were times when he thought he'd had them reasonably corralled in a safe place, but there were always stray ones that got away from him and thought things like _Maybe if I just wait_ and refused to see reason.

"I could be waiting until I'm dead," Kibum said, mostly to himself, though Jinki nodded. "You're right, you're right. This isn't any kind of solution. And I don't want to be that kind of person." He groaned and waved Jinki away. "Go, take my phone with you. Burn it. Throw it into the sun, I don't care."

Jinki hesitated.

"Just keep it from me until the end of the day," Kibum amended.

"Okay, yes, I can do that," said Jinki, edging towards the door. Apologetically, he added, "The sun is really far away."

Kibum smiled, helpless in the face of Jinki's earnestness. "I understand." 

 

***

 

It was just a normal day, a normal day like any other day. What was Thursday? Just a day in the week, just another day. There was definitely no other meaning attached to it, none. Thursday was not special.

If he told himself that a hundred times, maybe Kibum would start to believe it.

"This is normal," said Kibum to himself, walking up to Blue Night, shoulders set with determination. "This is normal. It is also normal to mutter to yourself in the street where everybody can see you. This is all fine."

He stepped into the coffee shop, greeted at once by Jonghyun's smile, which set Kibum back at least ten rounds of telling himself nothing special was happening.

"Hello!" said Jonghyun, pushing a large cup across the counter to Kibum. "I wasn't sure if you were coming today, but I made your drink anyway."

Kibum resolutely did not let this make him feel warm inside and chose not to wonder if Jonghyun had made one the week before, too, when Kibum hadn't showed. "Are you sure," he asked, as he pulled out his card, "you can afford to make drinks that may not be picked up when there's a roving band of caramel sauce thieves going around?"

"Didn't I tell you? I handled it. There's no way they'll come back and try that again. I fought them off with my amazing martial arts skills," Jonghyun said.

"Really," said Kibum. "You."

Though nobody asked him to, Jonghyun demonstrated a few chops through the air, with accompanying cries that sounded more like birds in distress than martial arts master. A couple of seated customers turned to give him concerned looks and then returned to minding their own business when it was clear Jonghyun wasn't actually suffering a mental breakdown.

Kibum fought to keep laughter in, biting down on his lips. "Wow," he said. "I can see why the thieves would run away."

After a brief moment of quiet consultation, the two other customers got up and left.

Going red as he looked around his shop, Jonghyun said, "I don't think those customers are going to come back again after this. Kibum-ssi, why did you let me do that?"

"First, you blame me for the theft," Kibum said in mock consternation, "and now I'm the one driving your customers away?"

"You're the one who does weird things for fun," Jonghyun said. "Maybe letting me embarrass myself in public is just another way you get your kicks?"

"Well, _now_ it is," said Kibum, grinning.

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes, his nose scrunching up. "I've made a mistake. Why can't you like normal fun things, like watching movies, or going to amusement parks?"

An involuntary noise rattled out of Kibum's throat. He could write entire treatises on the subject of _Amusement Parks: The Silent Killer_ , but he managed to keep it at, "Everything at an amusement park is a poorly concealed death trap."

"What? What are you talking about?" Jonghyun laughed. "Rollercoasters are amazing."

"Death trap," Kibum retorted immediately.

"Ferris wheel."

"Death trap."

"Cotton candy?"

"… Diabetes," said Kibum. "Which, left untreated, also leads to death. Therefore, still counts as a death trap."

Jonghyun laughed again, equal parts amused and incredulous. "This coming from a man who asks for extra caramel sauce and whipped cream in his caramel macchiato. And heads an international gang of thieves who steal caramel sauce for him!"

"Okay, fine," Kibum conceded. "The sweets won't kill you, but everything else will."

"Seriously?" said Jonghyun. "A Ferris wheel? The last time I went on one, this little kid behind me said it was the lamest thing he'd ever ridden. I think he was maybe six years old. You just go round _really slowly_. How is that a death trap?"

"Yes, you do go round really slowly – while sitting in a wobbly chair balanced on sticks that look like they could collapse in the event of a light breeze," Kibum argued. "And it's so… high…"

"Ah," said Jonghyun, nodding in understanding. "That's what this is about. You're scared of heights?"

"As any sane person should be," Kibum said.

Jonghyun shook his head in disappointment. "No, I can't have this. No friend of mine is going to go through life not being able to get on a Ferris wheel and, worse, rollercoasters." He jabbed a determined finger in Kibum's direction. "I'm going to take you one day and you're going to like it."

Forcibly shutting up all the tiny voices in his head that perked up with the idea of it being a promise of a date, Kibum said, with a look of amused skepticism, "That sounds like a threat."

"It's happening," said Jonghyun. "One day… when you least expect it…"

Kibum waved it off, unruffled. "For someone who's been promising me a dinner for the past two weeks and has yet to deliver—"

"Saturday," Jonghyun cut in. "If you and Taemin are free, let's do Saturday. I know Jinki is available; he doesn't really have many hobbies, does he?"

"… No," said Kibum, thinking of how Jinki spent his first few nights at Heartwood. "He can amuse himself with pretty much anything."

"He cleaned my house," Jonghyun said, rather uneasily. "The entire thing. I didn't ask him to. I mean, I'm grateful, but he's supposed to be my guest."

Kibum nodded. "He used to help the night cleaners sometimes at the office, he said. Maybe he just likes cleaning?"

"Maybe he's the one I should be forcing amusement parks on," Jonghyun mused.

"Yes, take him," Kibum said, beginning to take a stealthy step backwards so there could be no more talk about Kibum himself getting trapped in a rickety, creaky excuse for fun. As much as a part of him would have loved to do anything with Jonghyun, Kibum on the whole was slightly more interested in staying safe and alive. He slid another couple of steps back; freedom was near. "He'll love it, I'm sure."

Jonghyun pointed at him with bemusement. "What is this? Are you trying to escape?" He laughed. "There's no reason why I can't bring both of you."

"The reason is," Kibum said, now halfway across to the door, "I'm not going."

"Oh, I have my ways," Jonghyun said.

"Do you mean your amazing martial arts skills? Can you demonstrate again?"

Jonghyun laughed and tried to glare at him at the same time, his cheeks flushing. The cumulative effect was something Kibum would have previously labelled _adorable_ , but present-Kibum had ripped all of those words out of his vocabulary and tried to acknowledge it as little as possible. Present-Kibum lost the battle almost immediately; there was just no getting around the simple fact that Jonghyun was adorable, to his major chagrin.

"This only makes my resolve stronger," said Jonghyun.

"I can't hear you," Kibum said, swanning out the door. "My ears are still ringing from when someone tried to show off his combat techniques in this small, enclosed space."

Turning as he stepped out into the street to see Jonghyun, stuck behind the counter, gesturing hotly and ineffectually at him, Kibum laughed to himself and waved goodbye. He walked on toward Heartwood, a little smile still on his face.

"That was normal," he said, reassuring himself. "That was mostly normal."

So there had been a couple of blips here and there, but for the most part, he had kept his cool, even managed to tease Jonghyun without turning into a soppy mess. Things were looking up.

 

***

 

If there was one upside to being interested in someone Kibum couldn't have, it was that he didn't have to try that hard anymore. The torment of indecision that had plagued him when he'd torn through his wardrobe before going to Jonghyun's art show seemed a distant memory and the doings of a madman. This time, it was just dinner with friends, and Jonghyun happened to be one of them; Kibum had no one to impress.

"Who are you trying to impress?" Taemin asked, looking him up and down, when Kibum went to his room to see if he was ready. He wasn't, still lounging on his bed with a comic book and sweats that had seen better days.

Kibum glanced down at himself. "It's not my fault Jinki gave me everything Gucci put out this year. Hurry up, we're leaving in ten minutes."

"I can get dressed in two," said Taemin, unconcerned. He put his book down on his stomach. "Is this going to be okay for you?"

"Stop worrying about me," said Kibum, leaning against the doorjamb. "I told you, it's fine. I can be friends with him and not want to drown myself in a vat of tar every time he smiles at me." 

"That actually sounds like the opposite of what you just said."

"It's not _every_ time. Only maybe three out of ten times. Now you have eight minutes."

Obliging with only minimal under-the-breath grumbling at being chivvied out of his comfortable spot, Taemin hopped out of bed and picked through his closet. "I guess that's not so bad, only thirty percent of the time."

"And it's only been just over two weeks," said Kibum. "No, that shirt has a big rip in it; I told you to get it fixed ages ago. I think I'm doing pretty well for it having been just over two weeks, don't you think?"

Putting on the shirt anyway and calling it fashion, Taemin said, "I definitely wouldn't be able to do it."

"Anyway, I've been thinking…" said Kibum, his mouth screwing to one side." I don't even really know him that well, right? It's not like I've been friends with him for years. Maybe he has really horrible habits I haven't discovered and I've actually dodged a bullet. Maybe he snores a lot, or has incontrollable road rage."

Taemin nodded, more than willing to play along. "He spits in the street, loudly."

"He picks at his teeth after a meal?" Kibum said.

"He digs his ears with an extra-long pinky fingernail," Taemin said, grossing himself out so that he had to physically shake off the image.

"Flosses in bed," said Kibum, a whiff of competition in the air now.  

"Farts constantly."

"Likes the smell."

"Drinks out of the toilet bowl."

Kibum tittered. "You're thinking of dogs now."

"Ah, hyung, he's disgusting!" Taemin cried, unable to go on. He underwent a full-body shudder. "How can you like such a person? You have such bad taste. I can't look at him the same way again. I might not be able to eat dinner."

"Let's not say things we don't mean. You'll eat anything, anywhere."

"Maybe he eats his own scabs too," said Taemin, getting back into the spirit of grossness. "Maybe we'll see it at dinner later."

For better or for worse, they saw no such thing at dinner, an upscale barbecue restaurant of Jonghyun's choosing. No signs of any kind of off-putting behavior were forthcoming, Jonghyun acting as a consummate host. If anything, he was too generous, the result of which was that Jinki was rapidly listing to the wrong side of tipsy, Taemin's bottomless stomach was earning him some kind of world record, and Kibum didn't know what to fix first.

"You can stop any time," Kibum said to Jonghyun, with what would have been sotto voce but for Jinki and Taemin loudly giggling about something between themselves. "If you keep ordering more, he's just going to keep eating more."

"It's okay," said Jonghyun with a smile. "I don't get to do this very often; I don't have many friends in Seoul, so this is kind of a treat for me."

Though Kibum had suspected as much, gleaning it from long-ago small talk in the early days of their acquaintance when Jonghyun had revealed he'd only moved to Seoul recently, hearing it now tugged at his heart a little. Along with it, though, was a snide voice that also pointed out that Jonghyun seemed to be getting along perfectly fine; he had Jinki now, at least as company, and Han Eungyu, presumably, and who knew what they got up to?

Reminding himself that whatever he wasn't privy to wasn't his business, Kibum asked instead, as any polite conversational partner might, "How long have you been in Seoul? Not very long, right?"

Jonghyun nodded. "Less than a year. My family and the business are in Ulsan, but…" He hesitated at the reminder of what had cut short the potential for a great deal more between him and Kibum, and said, "I came to Seoul to see if I could do it, by myself. So I opened Blue Night."

"You own Blue Night?" Kibum said, surprised. For whatever reason, he'd never made that connection, had always assumed Jonghyun was just another employee there. Internally, he chalked another hash mark for things he didn't know about Jonghyun; they seemed to be piling up.

_See, you never even knew basic information about him, how can you think you were ever in love?_ the snide voice piped up again. _Idiot_.

"Yeah, it's my baby. Other than Roo, of course," Jonghyun said with a small laugh. "I always wanted to open my own shop, so I worked a lot of part-time jobs while I was in school to learn what to do, and I raised the capital myself to get Blue Night started." He gave a half-shrug after this, molding modesty around something Kibum thought was actually fairly impressive.

"That's fantastic," Kibum said. "No wonder you can keep giving things away. Oh, wait, does that mean… I haven't just been eating and drinking all your profits, have I? You've given me so much stuff!"

"Don't worry," Jonghyun laughed. "Blue Night is doing just fine."

"Well, that's a relief," said Kibum.

"What's a relief?" Jinki demanded suddenly, leaning over the table.

"That Blue Night is solvent?" Kibum said.

Jinki waved his chopsticks. "Oh, I thought maybe you found Hyunmoo. That would be a relief. But you haven't, so I guess it's not."

"…Why would I—?" Kibum said.

"Anyway," said Jinki, with the crystal clarity of inebriation, "of course Blue Night is solvent. Jonghyun is a financial genius. I looked over his accounts this morning. Such a solid business plan! You know what you should do? Franchise."

At Kibum's inquiring look, Jonghyun said, somewhat helplessly, "He wanted something to do, and everything was already clean." To Jinki, he added, "I've only been in business less than a year; I can't think of franchising yet. Not that I even want to, I don't think."

Jinki shrugged, as if he couldn't care less whether or not anyone took him up on his opinion. He held up an empty glass and shook it. "Can I have more of this… juice?"

Taemin broke into a delighted grin. "Jinki-hyung, it's soju. And you're drunk."

"I like it," said Jinki dreamily.  

Jonghyun leaned over to Kibum. "Where did you say he's from again?"

"Faraway cartoon village," said Kibum, rolling right along with no regard for the actual truth, which was, in all fairness, just as ludicrous as whatever was coming out of Kibum's mouth. "By day he frolics with the forest animals, and by night, I guess, he studies economics?"

"That sounds legitimate," Jonghyun said, furrowing his brow.

"He's just a little weird. I thought," said Kibum, "you'd naturally flock together. Since you are also weird." He cocked his head and gave Jonghyun a playful smile.

An affronted gasp flew out of Jonghyun's mouth. "Just because I like to tie balloons to my dog and scare off my own customers with loud noises… I see your point." He laughed in spite of himself. "But you're one to talk, you with your… your…"

"Yeah, what?" Kibum challenged. "You can't think of anything, can you? That's because I'm flawless."

"Taemin-ssi!" Jonghyun called out suddenly. "Kibum is weird, right?"

Taemin blinked at him, as if the question was rhetorical. "I know."

"Yes, but how weird?" Jonghyun pressed.

"A lot weird," said Taemin. With no apparent sense of allegiance, he took zero notice of Kibum's premonitory glare. "He likes doing girl group dances at home. He knows all of them. But he's actually really good at it."

Kibum crossed his arms. "That just means I'm talented, not weird."

"I think you're nice too," said Jinki.

"Thank you, Jinki. That's so kind of you to say," Kibum gushed. He shifted his expression to one of triumph as he turned to Jonghyun. "I'm invincible."

Jonghyun pouted at him. "This isn't fair. I wanted dirt on you."

"You're just going to have to live with the fact that I am perfect in every way," Kibum said loftily, spreading his arms as if there was nothing else to be done.

"I guess I do," Jonghyun said, almost too softly to be heard.

Taemin leaned back and let out a loud sigh. "I can't eat anymore. I'm such a failure. There's so much left." He looked sadly at the leftovers. "I'm sorry, pork belly. I'm sorry, beef. It wasn't meant to be."

"I'm sleepy," Jinki said to no one.  

He was startled out of his drowsiness not a second later when someone came up to their table with a shrill, "Associate Director Kim!"

Why the chances of running into CEO Jang were so much higher than Kibum randomly running into any of the idols he liked despite having lived in Seoul for years was a mystery for the ages. He stole Jinki's glass of soju and downed it, using it as an excuse not to properly greet her. Not that she had eyes for anyone besides Jonghyun anyway.

"Oh, CEO Jang, it's you," said Jonghyun, awkwardly getting up to bow, only to be fussed back down by her fluttering hands and the smiling, looming presence of two similarly dressed-up ladies who accompanied her.

"So this is what you were busy with tonight," she said with an indulgent smile, "having dinner with your little friends."

Jonghyun glanced around the table with a flash of guilt. "Yes, I'm so sorry I couldn't come to your family dinner today, but my friends and I had this planned for a long time."

"Don't worry, since you couldn't come we didn't hold one today," said CEO Jang. "Anyway, there's plenty of time for you to come to a lot more of our family dinners. Everyone is looking forward to getting together and learning more about you. My Eungyu especially, of course. She said you have been in touch?"

"Uh, yes," Jonghyun said. "We've exchanged some messages."

Taemin pushed his soju towards Kibum.

"Oh, where are my manners?" CEO Jang trilled. She introduced the two women with her as her friends, then gestured to Jonghyun, "And this is Kim Jonghyun. I don't think it's too forward to say that he might be our son-in-law soon."

This time Jonghyun did manage to get up to go through the formality of greeting the other two ladies, who fawned over him to the same degree as CEO Jang did, while Kibum and Taemin remained seated and stoically staring at the table. Jinki, also still in his chair, was staring instead at CEO Jang, who seemed not to register the heat of his glare, let alone his presence.

"Well, it's too bad we couldn't get together today," said CEO Jang, "but what serendipity that we should encounter each other anyway! And since I have you here, why don't we make some solid plans for next weekend? That should be enough advance notice, right? How is next Saturday for you? Around seven PM?"

"Uh… I—Sure," said Jonghyun, cornered. "I look forward to it."

"Fantastic," said CEO Jang. "Next Saturday, then. I will ask Eungyu to remind you as well; I know you must be too busy with work to remember these little things on your own."

Under the guise of scratching his temple, Taemin's hand hid from everyone else a look he shot Kibum that covered the bases from eye roll to sneer and slid into home with revulsion. Kibum nodded in weary agreement.

After CEO Jang and friends took their leave, Jonghyun mumbled, "Sorry about that."

Still glaring at CEO Jang's back as she exited the restaurant, Jinki said, as if anyone couldn't already tell, "I don't like her."

Under normal circumstances, Kibum might have surreptitiously nudged him or even taken him aside later to explain why openly badmouthing an acquaintance's possible future mother-in-law rated fairly far south of societal convention, but he didn't. Truthfully, he enjoyed Jinki's unfettered distaste for her behavior. After all, this was a woman who'd made both his professional and personal lives more than a little difficult, to say the least. And anyway, Jinki, being Jinki, could get away with it more than he could.

"I can't imagine why," Taemin muttered.

"It's because—" Jinki started.

This time Kibum did stop him, with a kick under the table that he almost regretted for the wounded look Jinki gave him.

"Sorry," Jonghyun said again, as if he was responsible for her having shown up.

"It's not your fault," said Kibum. Searching for something positive to say, he went with, "She was just happy to see you. Who wouldn't be?"

"I don't know, sometimes I'm just ambivalent," said Taemin. He shrugged, then undercut it with a winning smile.  

"Hey, words hurt," Jonghyun said. "And after all the free food I've given you."

Taemin nodded. "Yes, but what have you done for me lately?"

While Jonghyun sputtered out a laugh and threw a napkin at Taemin, Kibum hid a smile and made a mental note to hug Taemin later for turning the atmosphere back around.

As curious as he was about what "we've exchanged a few messages" meant, in terms of Jonghyun and Eungyu's relationship – _are they as good as_ our _messages?_ a petty part of him sniped – Kibum had made it a point from the get-go that he wouldn't ask anything about her. Most of that reasoning was to keep himself sane – the less he knew, the less he could fret over.

 

***

 

And it worked, more or less. Somehow, several weeks passed with the status quo firmly maintained: Kibum continued getting his weekly dose of sugary caffeine at Blue Night, he and Jonghyun did friend things – most often with one or more of the other boys, and the agency ran like clockwork. If he strained really hard, Kibum could almost convince himself he was happy.

Which, of course, Taemin would try to take away from him at the first opportunity.

"Pleeease, Kibum-hyung. It's all I've ever wanted," Taemin begged from the doorway of Kibum's bedroom.

"That's what you said last year about those headphones!" Kibum said from his bed.

"Yeah, and you got them for me, so now this is all I've ever wanted since then."

This was Kibum's own fault, probably, having coddled Taemin since they were kids. He couldn't help it if he was occasionally motherly and gave in to Taemin once too often; who could resist that stupid cute face of his? But it was coming back to bite Kibum in the ass, and of all the feelings he was feeling right now, motherly did not rank anywhere near the top ten.

"No," he said, folding his arms. "You can't make me."

A cross between a pout and scowl formed on Taemin's face. "Do you really want to be known as the person who ruined my birthday?"

Technically, no, but Kibum stood his ground. "I already said I could meet you afterwards. You'll have Minho there anyway."

"Two people isn't a party," Taemin argued. "Two people is a date."

"Sure, but who complains about going on a date with Minho? He's the most good-looking person you know," said Kibum airily. "It'll be fun. He'll probably buy you the biggest stuffed bear they have in existence."

Taemin ignored this line of reasoning to blare, "It's my birthday!"

"And I'm going to get you a birthday cake and balloons and something else you want for a present that is not a day at Everland."

God, the horror. Where Taemin had gotten the idea was beyond him, but Taemin had announced suddenly that it was his life's dream to spend a birthday at an amusement park with his friends. It would have been sweet, and certainly, Kibum appreciated being included in the list of Taemin's favorite people, except for the part about spending their day taking their lives in their own hands.

Taemin's eyes narrowed, then lit with a sparkle that told Kibum to be afraid, very afraid. "Okay, I tried my best," said Taemin, with an easy shrug of the shoulder. He pulled out his cell phone from a back pocket and started typing something. "But just know that whatever happens next is your own fault."

"Don't bring Minho into this," Kibum called out as Taemin retreated, flouncing, into the living room. "He likes me more than you, he'll take my side eventually."

He received nothing but smug silence for a few moments, then heard his own phone chime with a text message.

It was Jinki, and he was apparently distressed: _Taeminnie says you won't go to his birthday party. Why???_ Following this was a long series of crying faces that would have had no effect on Kibum, except that it made him imagine Jinki's pitiful expression. Without his consent, Kibum's heart twisted at the image.

"You can't use Jinki to guilt me!" Kibum yelled.

"You're making him sad!" Taemin shouted back. "What kind of monster are you?"

Before Kibum had a chance to respond, his phone pinged again. This time it was a message from Jonghyun, and Kibum groaned. He had underestimated the depths of Taemin's war games; a text assault from Minho he could easily fend off, but Taemin clearly had no qualms about playing dirty from the off.

_What is this about you missing Taemin's birthday?_ said Jonghyun's message.

_He wants to do it at Everland,_ Kibum replied, hoping against hope for sympathy from at least one corner. _You know how I feel about Everland._

_But it's his birthday!_ said Jonghyun, dashing any chances at Kibum successfully worming his way out of it.

Sauntering back into view in the doorway, Taemin said, with a complacent smile, "I invited Jinki and Jonghyun to my birthday too."

"I know," said Kibum through gritted teeth.

"So…" Taemin said, all innocence, "you're coming now, right?"

In answer, his only real option to register his protestations while still capitulating at the same time, Kibum hurled his pillow at Taemin, who caught it and hugged it to his chest happily.

"Awesome! You're the best, hyung!"

"Get out. You're my least favorite friend."

Taemin grinned, made a heart with his hands, and backed out of the room before anything more solid could be chucked at him.

Kibum's phone lit up with another text from Jonghyun. _Just come, it'll be more fun with you there,_ it said. _You don't have to go on any rides if you don't want to._

_You don't know the levels Taemin will stoop to. He made Jinki cry at me!_ Kibum retorted. He envisioned Jinki's face falling and then his own person being manhandled by the others in his moment of weakness onto any number of horrific rides where he was certain to fall to his untimely death. Kibum shuddered. _How am I supposed to withstand that kind of attack??_

_Don't worry, I'll protect you!_ Jonghyun replied, appending his proclamation with a flexed bicep emoji.

Kibum laughed. _Really? Promise??_

_Promise._


	8. Chapter 8

Despite taking the most passive stance he could, which was to not chip in during the planning stages of Taemin's Ultra Amazing Birthday Extravaganza, the day out somehow got worked out anyway on group text with a schedule and meeting point that everyone else agreed on.

It would have impressed Kibum, since Taemin could sometimes barely keep track of his own existence, but he was too busy regretting not having taken the chance to participate in the planning so that he could have derailed it.

Which was why he found himself chivvied out the door on a Saturday morning by the birthday boy, onto the subway, and then, several stops and a bit of walking later, in front of Jonghyun's house.

It was modern and well-kept on the outside, and both bigger and smaller than Kibum had imagined for someone who served coffee and also was heir to the throne of a major international business group. It was also strangely nerve-wracking to be standing in front of it, like if he crossed the threshold, something terrible and momentous might fall on him.

While he wouldn't have one hundred percent turned around and run away, the possibility definitely lurked in the back of Kibum's mind, but Taemin pulled at his arm and marched him forward, so Kibum didn't have much of a choice after all. Kibum pressed the doorbell to prove to both of them that he wasn't being as much of a useless ditherer as he felt.

"Hello!" said Jonghyun cheerfully as soon as he opened the door. He swept them inside with a wide gesture. "Come in, come in. Happy birthday, Taemin!"

"Thank you!" said Taemin.

They stepped in and took off their shoes, and Kibum suppressed a squeal when Roo pattered around the corner cautiously to peer at the newcomers.

Kibum dropped to the floor and clapped his hands softly together. "Hello, Roo!" he said, watching with delight as she toddled towards him curiously, her nails clicking on the wood floors, and sniffed his proffered hands. She licked his fingers and accepted a stroke on the head.

"She likes you," said Jonghyun, looking both pleased and mildly surprised. "She isn't usually so forward with strangers. When Jinki first came she hid from him for a few days."

"That's because she knows Uncle Kibum is going to save her from her crazy appa and his silly balloons. Don't you, Roo?" said Kibum in a baby voice, rubbing her ears.

Jonghyun made a noise of disbelief as Roo lapped up the attention. He kicked Kibum ineffectually with his toes. "Hey, stop plotting to steal my puppy."

"She's so cute," said Taemin. In a stage whisper to Kibum, he added, "I'll help."

With a hand to his chest, Jonghyun said, "Such betrayal, and under my own roof."

"Who wants seaweed soup?" came Jinki's voice from, presumably, the kitchen.

"Me! It's my birthday!" Taemin yelled and darted in the appropriate direction.

"This," said Kibum to Jonghyun as an aside, getting to his feet and taking Roo with him, cradled in his arms, "is going to go on all day, by the way. It's his birthday, so we'll be obligated to buy him the moon. He'll be really generous on your birthday, too, so it's not as bad as it sounds."

They walked to the open kitchen, a vision in sleek lines and chrome, where Jinki, wearing potholders on both hands, was clumsily ladling seaweed soup from a large pot on the stove into a bowl. He wiped off the sides of the bowl and handed it to Taemin with a proud smile. "I made it myself! Jonghyun told me how!"

"The Internet told me how," Jonghyun admitted.

After a mouthful went down, Taemin announced, mildly impressed, "It's edible," to which Jinki raised both arms in triumph.

Kibum's phone buzzed in his pocket with a text from Minho. "Oh," he said, "Minho says he's here."

"Tell him to come in. He can have some soup too," said Jonghyun. "Jinki made a lot."

"Is this a lot?" Jinki said, looking with surprise at his pot.

A knock on the door told them that Minho had gotten Kibum's message, and Jonghyun strolled over to let him in. They exchanged friendly greetings as Jonghyun invited him in.

Taemin ran over with outstretched hands, palms up. "Hyung, it's my birthday. My present, please."

"Happy birthday," said Minho, slapping his hands down. "Isn't it enough that I've graced you with my presence on this day?"

"No," said Taemin.

Minho rolled his eyes. "It's in the car; you'll get it later. Hello, everyone."

"Soup?" said Jinki.

It turned out Taemin wasn't just being kind when he'd proclaimed the soup edible, and, between the five of them, they managed to finish most of the birthday soup, after which they piled into Minho's SUV, with Taemin claiming the front passenger seat on account of it being his birthday.

"Is it?" said Kibum with a startled gasp as he climbed into the back with Jonghyun and Jinki following after. "I had no idea. Why didn't you say anything, Taeminnie?"

"Shut up, it's my birthday," said Taemin.

"This is news to all of us," Minho marveled.

"We would have done something special for you if only we'd known," Jonghyun added.

As Minho eased the car onto the road, Taemin swiveled around to grumble, "You're all the worst. It was bad enough before with just two hyungs ganging up on me, and now there are four! And on my birthday!"

Jinki raised a tentative hand. "I didn't say anything."  

Taemin grinned sweetly at him. "Jinki-hyung is now my favorite. The rest of you are dead to me. On my birthday."

"What?" Kibum exclaimed. "It's your birthday?"

As Taemin burst into laughter, Jonghyun gave Kibum a high five.

This was nice, Kibum thought as he looked out the window. Just a bunch of friends having a day out. It didn't have to be anything else. He didn't have to think about the warmth of Jonghyun's body next to his, or the way his hand seemed to tingle a second after exchanging their high five, or Jonghyun apologetically and conscientiously picking Roo's shed hairs off Kibum's shirt for two and a half minutes.

Just because he still had feelings for Jonghyun didn't mean things had to be weird or different. They could be like this forever, and Kibum could be fine with that. At least, he could learn to be fine with it. At some point.

"Hey," said Jonghyun softly, breaking into Kibum's thoughts. Or rather, the things Kibum wasn't thinking about. "Are you okay?"

Jinki had fallen asleep, mouth open, and in the front, Taemin and Minho were singing along to a jingle on the radio.

"Are you nervous about the rides?" Jonghyun asked in a quiet voice.

Kibum shook his head and smiled. "No, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing important," Kibum said.

 

***

 

As soon as Minho pulled into a spot at the Everland parking lot, Taemin unbuckled his seatbelt and tumbled out of the car, cheering. Though Kibum would much rather have undergone major dental surgery than be put through his paces at an amusement park, he couldn't help but smile at Taemin's excitement. He supposed there were worse things in life than making your friends happy.

Minho had helpfully bought their tickets online beforehand, so there was no queueing necessary, and they followed the crowd through to the entrance zone. Taemin led the charge immediately to the first gift shop in sight.

Sweeping through with business-like efficiency, Taemin picked out cutesy headbands for everyone, quelling any and all protestations with the fact that it was his birthday. Subsequent groans were also summarily silenced.

"Fox," he clipped at Kibum, tossing an animal ear headband at him. To Minho, "Tiger."

Jonghyun got saddled with bear ears and Jinki a bunny-eared headband. Sticking a pair of cat ears on himself, Taemin paid for the lot and swanned back outside. He made them all crowd together for a group selca, and then two more for posterity.

"Now we can begin," he declared to the world at large and set forth with purpose glinting in his eyes.

Half an hour into trailing after Taemin, Kibum mused to himself that it wasn't as bad as he had been expecting. There were beautiful, interesting buildings, flowers in bloom everywhere, and sit-down attractions like 3D shows, and so far, no one had tried to drag him onto anything visibly life-threatening.

Naturally, this was the most apt time for Taemin to come upon some giant monstrosity called the Double Rock Spin. "Let's go on that," he said, pointing to a top spin ride that swung its passengers up and down like the world's most insane pendulum and rotated them several times over in the air.

"Over my dead body," said Kibum. Preempting the response, he added, "I don't care if it's your birthday."

"Actually, I think that one is a bit much for me too," said Jonghyun, eyeing the ride suspiciously. "You guys go, I'll keep Kibum company."

"Losers," Taemin said amiably, but didn't push the issue.

Kibum watched them go with a slight frown. Turning to Jonghyun, he said, "I know I made you promise to protect me from having to go on rides, but I didn't mean that you shouldn't go either. Don't let me keep you from having fun. If you want to go with them—"

"Who says I'm not having fun? Let's get ice-cream," said Jonghyun. "They're going to have to wait a while in that line. What flavor do you want? I'll buy."

Despite Kibum insisting that he didn't have to, Jonghyun bought them a soft serve each. They found a short stone wall to perch on while eating their ice-cream in comfortable silence. All around them was the themed music piped out from speakers and families and couples gleefully wandering from adventure to adventure.

"Kibum-ah," Jonghyun said, a diffident tone in his voice. "I never said thank you."

"For what?" Kibum asked.

"For staying friends with me after… everything," said Jonghyun.

"Oh." There was a reason they never talked about it, and it was exactly this sudden, thick awkwardness that had fallen between them. He tried for a smile. "It's okay."

What else could he say? That it was a huge sacrifice on his part? That it still pained him every time he thought of that day? That even though it hurt he would rather hurt than not have Jonghyun in his life at all? No thank you.

"After all, it makes it easier for me to get access to your dog," said Kibum.  

"Oh, I see, you're just using me," Jonghyun sniffed.

Kibum shrugged. "I guess being friends with you is all right too," he said, hoping the facetious act would get them back to safe ground. "Sometimes you buy me ice-cream."

Jonghyun chuckled, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Oh, there's Jinki," said Kibum, spying him looking lost in the crowd, the bunny ears on his head bobbing with each step. Kibum stood and waved both arms until he caught Jinki's eye.

Trotting over, Jinki said, somewhat fretfully, "Oh, good, you're here. I saw somebody throw up after riding that ride so I didn't want to go on it anymore. Taemin said I was a loser too, but I don't know what that is, and he wouldn't tell me."

 "Don't worry, it's nothing. He's just being silly," said Kibum. "Do you want some ice-cream? Jonghyun's buying."

Jonghyun made a face at him, but stood up anyway to do it when Jinki nodded. "One ice-cream coming up," he said, and jogged away to the ice-cream stand.

Jinki sat in his place. "Are you okay?" he said.

"Yeah, why?" Kibum asked.

"You looked kind of sad," said Jinki.

"It's nothing," Kibum said again.

"Is it Jonghyun?"

"Is it obvious?"

Jinki nodded. "Yes."

Kibum sighed. "I thought it would have gotten easier by now, you know? It's been quite a while already, since… that day. But it's not easier, not really. And I think I forget every time. Because I like being around him so much, I forget how hard it is. But it's… it's really hard sometimes." He took a deep breath in, surprised at how much of it he was saying out loud.

"Then why keep putting yourself through it?" Jinki asked.

"Because not being around him would be worse," said Kibum. "And he's friends with my friends now, too, so that makes it even trickier." He gave Jinki an apologetic look. "I bet when you became an administrative specialist, you didn't expect it would be so complicated, right?"

Jinki shook his head. "I didn't. I thought love was just… love. Simple."

Giving him a rueful smile, Kibum said, "Ah, if only."

There wasn't a chance to say any more, as Jonghyun returned with a cone for Jinki. "Here you go," he said and waved off Jinki's effusive thanks. He put his hands on his hips. "What are you guys talking about?"

"I was asking," Jinki said with no trace of guile, "what is a Pororo? We saw it near the entrance."

Kibum smiled to himself as Jonghyun, slightly bewildered at anyone having managed to evade the popular cartoon, embarked on an explanation. He was grateful to have someone help him keep his secrets, though it occurred to him that Jinki might be helping keep other secrets, too. Specifically, Jonghyun's secrets. They did live together after all. But Kibum didn't want to know them, or at least he told himself that he'd rather not know. That way, he could keep nursing his masochistic little flame of hope that the Arrow wasn't working as it should on Jonghyun and Eungyu.

As far as Kibum knew, their relationship could be going so well that they might announce their engagement next week, but so long as no one told him about it, it wouldn't be real.

Masochistic _and_ delusional, the total package. Who _wouldn't_ fall in love with him?

Kibum mentally slapped himself out of the funk he'd fallen into and made himself perk up at Jonghyun's mention of a carousel in the vicinity.

"A slow-moving, ground-level ride with fancy, bejeweled horses? That's my style," said Kibum.  

They texted Taemin and Minho to say they were moving on to the next zone and picked a spot to meet up again after their respective rides, then walked to Magic Land, where the carousel was housed.

It was immediately obvious that this particular zone was geared more towards little kids, to which Jonghyun said to Kibum affectionately, "You're my lamest friend."

"You're the one who brought up the carousel; I just said yes," said Kibum. "Admit it, you're happy I'm here so you can use me as an excuse to skip all the scary rides. All the scary, death-inducing rides."

"I _am_ happy you're here," said Jonghyun.

"Because…" Kibum prompted.

"Because otherwise I would have never had a chance to see you look so adorable in these fox ears," Jonghyun said, flicking one of the ears on Kibum's headband. He whipped out his phone and snapped a picture. "Future blackmail material?" he mused.

"Nonsense," said Kibum, having forgotten until now that he'd had the headband on in the first place. "I am rocking these. What you have there is proof that I look great."

Jonghyun didn't disagree.

"What about me?" said Jinki, pointing to his bunny ears.

"My friend," Jonghyun said, throwing a loose arm around him, "you are always adorable."

Though Kibum laughed along, he felt a small pang of jealousy that he didn't have that easy friendship with Jonghyun anymore. Sure, they exchanged messages and jokes, but they didn't really touch each other, except when it was in the only acceptable form of mild violence or when they were relentlessly patronizing each other. Not like Jonghyun had at his art show, not the way Jonghyun was hanging off Jinki now – comfortable and carefree.   

The line for the carousel was comparatively short, and soon they were on their majestic steeds, Kibum having given up his first choice of horse with the prettiest saddle to a small child who'd wanted it more. He ended up next to Jonghyun, who had chosen a horse bedecked with flowers going mid-gallop. Jinki was on the outer ring, his horse on a spring that he could make bounce.

As the music and lights started and the platform began to rotate, Jonghyun leaned over and said obsequiously, "Is this too fast? The horses do go up and down, you know. I hope it won't be too high for you."

Kibum scowled at him. "I thought you were supposed to protect me from such assaults?"

"From the others," Jonghyun clarified. "I never said I wouldn't do it, too." 

"Unbelievable," said Kibum. He hugged the golden pole in front of him. "No," he said loftily. "It is not too fast. It's everything I've ever dreamed of. I'm going to live here now."

Jonghyun looked around. "It's a bit… horsey, isn't it?"

"Get out, you're trespassing in my home," Kibum said with a disdainful look down his nose as his horse moved up.

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?" Jonghyun challenged cheerfully.

"Ugh," Kibum groaned. "Why are you always making me back up my vague threats?"

Jonghyun laughed. "It's not my fault you lack creativity."

"Fine, fine, fine," Kibum said. The one he usually used on Taemin, which was excellent for making him do long overdue chores, was to threaten dropping a bug in his mouth while he slept. It also made Taemin boiling mad at him for at least two days, so he didn't wield it often. But it was pretty Taemin-specific, so Kibum trawled his brain for something else. "I'll… do something… really…"

Amusement and pity mingled on Jonghyun's face as he waited for Kibum to finish his sentence. He laughed again and said, "This is so sad."

"I can't think with all this circus music!" said Kibum.

In response, Jonghyun started dancing to it, rolling his arms and flinging them everywhere, wiggling in his saddle. "I like it, it has a good beat," he said.

Kibum laughed, half endeared, half embarrassed, as Jonghyun's movements began to attract attention and a few snickers from the periphery. "I don't know him," he said to anyone who might be listening. "I don't know this person."

It only seemed to make Jonghyun dance harder, grinning at Kibum the whole time.

"Why?" Kibum moaned. "Why me?"

"What? You don't like my dancing?" said Jonghyun, settling down and seemingly immune to a child pointing and laughing at him. "People tell me I'm very good."

"You could've taken someone's eye out with that," said Kibum flatly, though he couldn't quite suppress a smile.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. Sometimes I'm just moved by the music," Jonghyun said, and started bopping up and down again.

Kibum laughed into his hands. "Please stop."

The carousel slowed and came to a halt, its music and lights dwindling down in tandem. Kibum slid off his horse and Jonghyun followed suit; they collected Jinki on the way out and heard a smattering of giggles as a couple of teenage girls passed them by.

"They were laughing at you," Kibum pointed out.

Jonghyun shrugged and smiled. "As long as you were laughing, too," he said. He took out his phone to check for messages in their group text. "Oh, Taemin and Minho are at the meeting spot already. Let's go."

As he led the way, Jinki glanced at him and back at Kibum, his brow slightly furrowed, but he didn't say anything.

They found Taemin and Minho near a snack stand, each with a churro in their hands. Minho offered Kibum a bite while Taemin enthused about the spinning ride, each new sentence making it sound more and more appalling.

"Kibum-hyung," Taemin laughed, taking in what must have been an expression of mounting horror on his face, "it was fun. Everybody lived."

"Well, I should hope they'd have the courtesy to. On your birthday," said Kibum.

"That's right!" said Taemin. "Nothing bad can happen on my birthday. So you can definitely come on rides with us."

"Nooo," Kibum moaned as Taemin tugged him along by the wrist to whatever hellscape he had planned for next.

Thankfully, it was a water ride, which Kibum had no objections to, particularly since, foregoing the plastic sheet provided, they all ended up drenched and cackling at each other's dishevelment as they stepped off. Kibum did, however, have to wrench his eyes away from the way Jonghyun's T-shirt was plastered to his body, leaving not very much to the imagination and providing it with a lot more fodder for future sleepless nights. Who knew a barista slash artist slash associate director had so much time to go to the gym?

It was a hot day and they dried off quickly as they squelched their way through more attractions, including a roller coaster Kibum got sweet-talked onto with promises of secure straps and immovable bars and that he got through with a lot of shrieking.

By the end of it, Kibum was more than glad he had come with his friends and that Taemin seemed to be having such a good time, even as his energy began to flag.

The exit seemed like a two-day hike away by the time they were through and ready to go; even Minho looked a little tired.

"Are my feet supposed to hurt like this?" Jinki asked Kibum surreptitiously.

Kibum assured him that everyone's feet were sore and patted his back.

"Ah, I'm so tired of walking," Taemin whined as he squatted on the ground for a moment. He looked over to where a chair lift system was in operation, a series of open benches transporting park visitors from zone to zone on a network of thick, black cables. "Can we… take the sky lift back?"

This was directed hopefully at Kibum, which he felt was both unfair and the best idea he'd ever heard even as his stomach filled with dread at the thought of being so high up in the air… swaying in the wind… supported by nothing but a metal clip on a cable… suspended over the wide, open vastness of space…

Kibum gritted his teeth. He couldn't insist on making everyone walk back just to accommodate his stupid but completely rational fear; besides, his feet hurt, too. Maybe just this once he could get over it.

"Of course," he said.

Taemin smiled his thanks and led the way.

Sidling up next to Kibum, Jonghyun said quietly, "Are you sure? I can walk back with you if you don't want to go on the cable cars. I know they're not your style."

With a grateful smile, Kibum said, "It's okay. I can do it. It won't be that bad."

It seemed like most of the other park attendees had the same idea, however, and the queue was unfortunately massive. This had the helpful effect of giving Kibum time to spiral as he watched the movement of the lift. Though the whole operation went smoothly, with car after car taking off without incident, parts of him were alternately freaking out in silence and convincing himself that if he took his eyes off the machinery for one minute everything would come crashing down with the next gust of wind.

 Kibum was startled to feel a warm hand at his back, and even more startled to realize it belonged to Jonghyun. Jonghyun didn't acknowledge it, even as Kibum turned to look at him questioningly, just kept his attention on the conversation between the rest of the group.

"You know you can probably buy that at any street shop for half the price, right?" Minho was saying about one of Taemin's purchases.

"I know," Taemin sighed, buyer's remorse setting in as he frowned at his new white tiger keychain. "But it's so cute. And I want it now."

"And it's his birthday," Jonghyun chimed in.

"Yeah," said Taemin, high-fiving him.

Minho rolled his eyes with a smile. "I can't wait for my birthday to roll around so I can do this back to you. We're going to a football game and you're going to like it. Every single second of it, plus overtime."

"We go every year," Taemin complained. "It's always the same."

As they bickered over Minho's football obsession, Kibum listened only with half his mind on it. The other half was still busy goggling at Jonghyun's hand on his back. He recognized it as what it was, a way for Jonghyun to help him calm down a little, but it was still unexpected. Kibum reached around and squeezed his hand in thanks, and got a small smile back.

By the time it was their turn to load onto the chair lifts, Kibum's inner voices were calm enough to screech at only normal human levels. Still, he hesitated before getting on, unable to make eye contact with the attendant helping to direct the park visitors onto the chairs.

"Go on," said Jonghyun at his back. "It's okay. I've got you."

Momentarily emboldened, Kibum stepped on and scooted in to the far side, clutching the side of the chair with white knuckles, his free hand a tight fist in his lap. Jonghyun followed him in, and then Taemin after that. Each chair could fit three, so Minho and Jinki went in the next one.

"See you at the bottom!" Minho called with a wave. "Kibum, it'll be fine!"

"Sure," Kibum muttered.

"Hyung," said Taemin, leaning forward to catch Kibum's eye, "it'll be quick. We'll get over there in no time. I'm really proud of you, hyung! Fighting!"

"Mmhm," said Kibum.

The chairs jerked forward, and they were gliding over open space now, their feet dangling in the air. A breeze twirled by, making the chair sway back and forth. Kibum squeezed his eyes shut and thought of anything else. A low moan paddled around in his throat, and he focused on the vibrations in it.

"Kibum-ah, you're doing great," said Jonghyun's voice next to his ear. "We're almost there."

One by one, Jonghyun worked Kibum's fingers open from his clenched fist. He slid his hand into Kibum's and held it tight.

It seemed like only a second later when Jonghyun spoke again and said, "We're here. See? You did it. Get ready, we have to get off quickly."

Kibum opened his eyes, and true enough, their chair was easing towards their destined platform. They hopped off, Kibum still holding onto Jonghyun's hand. Though the danger was ostensibly over, he didn't want to let go.

A glance from Taemin made him drop Jonghyun's hand, and Kibum felt his face go red, as if he'd been caught doing something naughty. Then he felt bad for dropping Jonghyun's hand like a hot rock when it had been his lifeline seconds before. On top of that, mild shame spread over him as he thought of the reaction he'd had to taking the chair lift in the first place; honestly, what kind of grown man couldn't ride a chair lift?

Pretending not to have noticed anything, Taemin said, "We made it! But now my feet hurt again. It was so nice getting to sit down for a few minutes."

Minho and Jinki were right behind them, and when they convened as a group, they made their way down towards the exit, with Taemin trailing as he got one last window shop in.

"I parked over there, right?" Minho said, eyebrows knotting together, as he gestured vaguely to the left once they'd made it out of the park.

"I don't know," said Taemin. "I trusted you to remember these things."

Kibum tugged at Jonghyun's elbow. "Thank you," he said.

Jonghyun smiled. "Any time."

It turned out Minho was right and could be trusted with the location of the car. Happy, exhausted sighs were heard all around as they climbed in, with Taemin once again claiming the front seat for his own.

"Everybody have their seat belts on?" Minho called out as he backed out smoothly from the parking spot and drove out of the lot.

"Yes, Father," Kibum intoned obediently.

"None of that guff or I'll turn this car right back around," said Minho.

Tired laughter burbled from Taemin's throat. "That means we get to go back to Everland. Yeah!" He raised his arms in a cheer. "Ev-er-land! Ev-er-land!"

The back row picked up his chant, making Minho laugh out a, " _Ya_. You were all raised better than that."

"I don't think I was," said Jinki. He reconsidered his statement, and went instead with, "That was really fun. Thank you for inviting me."

Taemin waved a dismissive hand. "No need for that."

The rest of the journey was made primarily in silence, aside from the radio and Minho softly humming along to it every now and then. Jinki fell asleep first and Taemin dropped off next. Kibum stared out the window, not focusing on anything much, hands clasped in his lap, wishing they were clasping someone else's.

From the corner of his eye he saw Jonghyun's head nod forward, and he chanced a quick look, smiling involuntarily to see Jonghyun asleep, too.

"Ah, kids today," clucked Minho, glancing in the rearview mirror. "No stamina at all." 

"Not like in our day," Kibum played along.

Minho grinned. "Did you have fun?"

Nodding, Kibum said, "Yeah, more than I thought. Except at the end, but that… that turned out okay, too."

Jonghyun's head lolled backwards, resting on the top of the seat for a moment, then dropped onto Kibum's shoulder. Kibum froze. He looked down at Jonghyun, catching sight of his eyelashes and the slide of his nose, the smooth planes of his cheekbones. Kibum's heart wrested with a twinge of pain.

Why couldn't he have this for real? Why could he only have Jonghyun's hand in his when Kibum was in distress and his life in mortal danger? Why could Jonghyun only rest against his shoulder when Jonghyun wasn't conscious?

It wasn't fair. But Kibum took what he got. He let Jonghyun remain there, and kept his hands slotted tightly between his knees lest they try something crazy like stroke Jonghyun's cheek.

When Kibum looked up again, it was to see Minho giving him a worried but commiserative look in the mirror. But Minho said nothing, and drove on.

 

***

 

When the car pulled up to Jonghyun's gate and rolled to a stop, Minho turned on the interior lights. "First stop, Jonghyun's house," he said, just loudly enough to rouse the sleeping. "All passengers should take care not to leave any belongings behind, otherwise they become the sole property of Minho Taxi Service."

"Wha…?" said Taemin, squinting and grumpy. "Who's talking?"

Jonghyun awoke with his head still on Kibum's shoulder and Kibum tried not to look down at him, he really did. But he couldn't help himself, and when Jonghyun raised his head and blinked sleepily he caught Kibum's gaze, their faces much too close for comfort. For a beautiful moment, Jonghyun still not quite registering where he was, they shared a soft smile.

 He started when he realized what was going on. "Sorry," Jonghyun murmured, pulling back.

"It's okay," Kibum said. "You must have been really tired."

Jonghyun scrubbed the back of his neck. "I think it was all that dancing."

"Don't remind me," Kibum chuckled. "I haven't recovered."

"Somebody wake Jinki, please," Minho requested from the front, gesturing at the offender, mouth open and lightly snoring.

Jonghyun tapped on his arm until Jinki jerked awake. He rubbed his eyes. "Oh, we're here already?" After a few blinks he seemed to get a second wind and grinned at everyone. "Thank you for a great day! Thank you for driving!"

"Go inside," said Kibum with a shooing motion. "Get some real sleep."

Jonghyun ushered Jinki out of the car, throwing his own quick thanks over his shoulder and a final happy birthday to Taemin.

"I can't believe it's already almost over," Taemin sighed.

"Give Roo a hug for me," said Kibum.

"Hug her yourself next time you come over," Jonghyun said. He shut the car door and waved, and walked with Jinki back inside.

Minho waited until they were safely in the house, then turned the lights off and started down the street. It wasn't until they got onto the expressway that Minho flicked another glance in the mirror at Kibum and said, "What's… up with you and Jonghyun?"

"Nothing?" said Kibum. "Same as usual."

"That didn't really look like nothing," Minho said pensively.

So Kibum hadn't imagined it, the look he'd shared with Jonghyun. Of course, that was when Jonghyun had just woken up and didn't actually really know what was happening, so who knew how much could be read into it?

"What's not nothing?" Taemin asked, awake now and raring to get into Kibum's business. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing," said Kibum.

Straining against his seat belt to turn and face Kibum, Taemin tsked at him, offended. "That always means it's something. Don't lie to me, hyung. It's bad for your health."

"It's really nothing," Kibum shot back.

At least, it was nothing until he could get more evidence that there was more than nothing there. He didn't want to get his hopes up, again, for what could turn out to be a bigger, more painful fall than before. So what if Jonghyun had looked at him tenderly, even for the briefest of moments? Maybe he had been dreaming about Eungyu. The thought made Kibum want to shudder from head to toe, but he had to consider it. Even as stupid and delusional as he could be sometimes, he couldn't escape reality, and reality was that Jonghyun just wasn't his and couldn't ever be.

"You're only making it worse," said Taemin. "I'll tickle it out of you if I have to."

"Don't you dare," said Kibum, glaring. "Minho, help. Taemin is bullying me."

"Nobody's getting tickled," Minho said soothingly.

Taemin folded his arms across his chest. "But I really want to."

Though Taemin was now facing the front, Kibum stuck his tongue out at him anyway. "That's no way to treat your hyung, who overcame his fears just for you today and showed amazing courage despite almost getting killed on the chair lift."

"Only because Jonghyunie-hyung was there," Taemin said absently as he checked his phone. His head perked up with a sudden recollection and he turned around again to look at Kibum. "He was holding your hand."

"So I wouldn't run off screaming into the night. He was being nice," Kibum said.

Even as he explained it away, perfectly reasonable and matter-of-fact, Kibum couldn't stop himself flashing back to the moment to pick it apart. Most of him had been consumed with fright, but there was still room for warmth to, if not fight the fear, at least keep it at bay when he'd felt Jonghyun's hand clasp his. He'd felt protected and cared for. And there had been Jonghyun's voice in his ear, too, telling him it was all okay.

But as much as Kibum would love to think that there was more behind it than just Jonghyun being kind and considerate, he couldn't. For self-preservation purposes, he couldn't let himself wander too far into hope. Hope was too dangerous.

Not that Taemin seemed to have a problem with it. "I'm nice, too, but I didn't hold your hand," he said meaningfully.

With a look of skepticism, Kibum said, "Are you sure you are? Because I seem to recall someone very not nicely guilt-tripping me into coming along today for his birthday."

Taemin gave him an impatient eye roll. "You know what I mean."

He did, unfortunately. Even more unfortunate was that Kibum had an answer for it. "Look, if things weren't working out with Jonghyun and Han Eungyu, her mother would have already come for my head. She did it to President Jun; she wouldn't have a problem coming after me, too."

Brow furrowing, Taemin opened his mouth to argue, but came up empty.

"Kibummie," said Minho in a low voice, and Kibum snapped into cautious mode. He was never _Kibummie_ unless Minho was drunk and trying to be cute or Minho was about to drop some kind of truth bomb on him big enough to flatten a major metropolis. Even Taemin's eyes had gone a little wide.

"What?" Kibum said warily.

"Why are you making yourself suffer like this?"

Kibum frowned and replied with a mulish, "What are you talking about?"

Frowning right back at him with a look that plainly said he saw right through Kibum's deflection, Minho set the conversation aside for a moment as he concentrated on parallel parking into an open spot on the street outside Kibum and Taemin's apartment.

Taemin turned in his seat and whispered to Kibum, covering the side of his mouth with one hand, "What is he talking about?"

"Ask him, he's the one being crazy," said Kibum. To Minho, he said, "Hey, crazy person, do you want to stay the night? It's getting late already."

"Yes!" Taemin interjected. "That way my birthday will last longer."

Minho nodded, and together they walked up to the apartment, where Taemin brought out drinks and an assortment of snacks, as well as the fresh cream cake Kibum had made for him the day before.

"Eat, drink, it's my birthday," said Taemin.

If Kibum had been banking on the alcohol wiping Minho's memory, he was to be sorely disappointed. In fact, it only seemed to make Minho more insightful, zeroing in with laser focus and destroying Kibum's defenses in one easy swoop.

"You still have feelings for Jonghyun, don't you?" said Minho, popping the tab off a can of beer with the same casualness as he would if he were asking about Kibum's upcoming weekend plans. "Even more than before."

On Kibum's end, the alcohol made him want to get into a scrap, and even more so knowing he could never lie to Minho for very long. "So what?" he said and shoved a handful of corn chips in his mouth.   

Taemin ate his cake and kept quiet, his eyes darting between them.

"So… you're just hurting yourself," said Minho.

Kibum shrugged unhelpfully.

"He's really great, I like him a lot, but," Minho said, "don't you think it might be better if you kept your distance?"

Fiddling with the label on a soju bottle, Kibum said, "I don't want to."

"Jonghyun is our friend…" Taemin pitched in, ostensibly in a tentative bid to take Kibum's side.

"Ya," said Minho, "you're not helping. _Kibum_ is our friend. Our priority. And he's going around being… stupid."

"Excuse me?" said Kibum, a spark of indignation flaring up.

Minho didn't take the bait and continued calmly, "You know what I mean. This can't be good for you. You're around him all the time and you talk to him all the time, but you know he can't return your feelings. Don't you think that's a little…?"

"Masochistic?" Kibum filled in dryly.

Nodding, Minho said, "Yeah, that."

"Probably," said Kibum, settling back against his chair. It wasn't like he'd never had this debate in his own mind; the only difference now was that one of the voices belonged to Minho and other people were privy to the argument.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all," said Minho. "Or at least, not more hurt than you already have been."

As much as he appreciated where the sentiment was coming from, Kibum said, "It doesn't matter. Whichever way I go, it's still going to feel awful."

"What do you mean?" Taemin asked.

"One," said Kibum, highlighting the point with his finger, "I stay friends with Jonghyun. I carry my secret, pathetic, tragic torch for him, but I still have his friendship. Or two, I cut off all ties with Jonghyun. I continue to carry my secret, pathetic, tragic torch for him, and I have nothing else. Which one is worse?"

"Oh," said Taemin, slumping in his seat a little.

Kibum waved his hands as if to clear the air. "Let's not talk about this anymore. It's still Taeminnie's birthday; it's not fair to make his birthday all about me."

Though Minho frowned at him for shutting down the subject, he didn't object.

Forcing himself to brighten up, Kibum took a corn chip and flung it at Minho with a smirk. "This is your fault; you started it."

"Ow, that was _pointy_ ," Minho groused, rubbing the spot on his cheek where the sharp end had bounced off. A wrapper was crunched up into a ball and hurled in retaliation at Kibum, and corn chips began flying across the table from both sides.

"Hyungs, hyungs," Taemin said, pushing himself in the middle of the barrage and attempting to be the voice of reason. "This is so childish! Someone's going to end up hurt." A second of silence passed, and the authority in his voice sweetened to mischief as he went on, "That's why you have to use something soft, like cake."

With that as the only warning, Kibum found a handful of birthday cake mashed into his face, and a shout from Minho suggested he'd met a similar fate. Not one to rest on his laurels, Taemin smushed a few bits of fruit from the cake down their shirts as well.

"I see how it is," Kibum said with dead calm, a dollop of cream slipping off his chin and splatting onto the table.

"I didn't do it. It was an accident," Taemin claimed, seeing his cake-smeared hyungs advance on him. He tried warding them off with, "It's my birthday. I have immunity on my birthday."

"Mm, that's not a rule," said Minho, shaking his head. "Kibum, I'll hold him if you'll be so kind as to get the cake, please."

"No, it's my birthday!" Taemin protested, struggling through giggles and futility as Minho held him in place.

Minho laughed. "We know."

"Happy birthday, Taeminnie!" said Kibum. He picked up what remained of the cake and smashed it in Taemin's face. While Taemin spluttered, Kibum looked at the mess they'd made. "Ah, this is going to take a while to clean up. Worth it, though."

"Absolutely," said Minho, picking up a strawberry that had fallen on the floor and dropping it down the back of Taemin's shirt. He followed it up with a slice of kiwi and then, for good measure, two more strawberries.

Taemin squirmed away from him and wiped cream out of his eyes. "I really wanted to eat the rest of that, though. It was so good."

Laughing, Kibum said, "I'll make another one next week, okay?"

"Yeah," Taemin said, with a little fist pump. "Wait, wait, before we clean up I want to take a picture. Why do my birthdays always end up with a big mess like this, though?"

"That is a reflection on you," said Kibum, leaning into frame as Taemin held up his phone. "Minho and I, we just happen to be there."

With photographic proof of their maturity saved for the ages, they washed cream and cake off their faces the best they could and set to clearing the table and floor of the dessert debris. Then, taking turns for quick showers, it was well past midnight by the time they were all ready for bed.

"Goodbye, birthday," Taemin said wistfully to the apartment at large. "Stay safe and eat well. See you again next year. Good night, hyungs," he said, before shutting his bedroom door.

Minho, who had his own blankets assigned to him for circumstances like these that required him to sleep at their apartment, sighed from the floor of Kibum's bedroom. "That kid gets weirder every year." 

Kibum turned off the light and climbed into his bed. "He gets it from you," he said, earning a thump on the legs from Minho's pillow.

The stillness of nighttime settled over them, lulling Kibum closer and closer to sleep.

"I know that look, you know," Minho said, quietly and out of the blue.

"Wha..?" said Kibum, startled back awake.

"The look you gave Jonghyun in the car," Minho clarified. "I know that look."

"What look?" Kibum said, slightly crabby to have been woken.

There was the sound of Minho shifting and turning in his blankets, then punching up his pillow. As he settled back down again, he took a deep breath. "You're in love with him. Like, really, really," he sighed, "in love with him. Right?"

"And?" said Kibum. It was weird that he'd never mentioned it to anyone out loud before, probably because it made him sound miserable and pitiful, and hearing it said back to him only made it all the more concrete.

"It must really hurt," said Minho.

Kibum didn't respond for a long moment. "I'll be okay."

"Will you?"

Kibum made a noise that amounted to assent, though he was fairly sure neither of them was very much convinced by it.

Though Minho made no further comment and a peaceful silence crept in once more, sleep seemed a lot harder to come by after that.


	9. Chapter 9

Denial didn't make a very good new best friend. Although it assured Kibum that everything was fine, it was clingy, snide about his other friends (especially Minho, who'd had the gall to bring actual facts into the situation), and, probably most unhelpful of all, could do no better than Kibum himself at sidestepping Jinki's mingled looks of concern and pity at work.

What made it worse was that every time Kibum caught his eye, Jinki swiftly looked away, the guilt on his face as plain as day.

It was a Monday afternoon, a little over a week after Taemin's birthday celebration, and Jinki had been normal all week – relative to himself – so obviously something had happened or been said over the weekend to make him like this. Maybe Minho had gotten to him with all his doom and gloom proclamations of Kibum only making things worse for himself.

After approximately the thirty-seventh surreptitious look directed his way, Kibum threw his hands up and stalked out of his office to Jinki's desk. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Jinki said automatically.

Kibum let out a sigh of frustration. "Then why do you keep making that face at me?"

Jinki blinked. "What face?"

In all fairness, Jinki didn't know a lot of things. He wasn't from here, after all. But the naiveté could only stretch so far. The expressions he'd been shooting at Kibum all day didn't happen by accident.

"Your face," Kibum said. "You keep looking at me like you feel sorry for me. Like I'm some kind of poor, pitiful idiot who doesn't even realize how bad he has it or what even more terrible things are coming."

Jinki shook his head adamantly, looking for all the world like he'd just been caught red-handed absconding with the entire contents of the family cookie jar. "No, I don't," was his feeble, uncertain reply. "And you're not. An idiot. Who has it really bad."

"Jinki-yah, are we friends?" Kibum said.

"Yes," Jinki said warily.

"Do friends lie to each other?" Kibum went on.

Jinki hung his head, shoulders drooping. "No."

Like a knowing parent, Kibum waited expectantly for whatever it was to come out and was not disappointed. At least, not in Jinki. There were plenty of other reasons to be disappointed.

"It's just…" Jinki hedged. "I felt sad for you because… I know how you feel about Jonghyun, and…" He sort of flailed in his chair for a second, agitation getting the better of him. "He and Han Eungyu spent the whole weekend together and I didn't want you to know because it would make you sad, but now you've made me tell you."

"Oh," said Kibum.

Jinki looked at him worriedly. "Did that make you sad?"

Waving a careless hand, Kibum he barked out a laugh that even he and his new best friend, denial, didn't buy. "No, of course not. It's okay. Don't worry so much about me, I'm fine. Really."

Though visibly unconvinced, Jinki said, "Okay."

Kibum went back to his office and wondered if it would be better or worse to ask for details. Surely whatever was happening in real life couldn't be half as alarming as what his imagination was putting forth, but Kibum couldn't bring himself to ask. For one, it might get back to Jonghyun that Kibum was nosing around his business, especially given how easily Jinki had caved just with Kibum invoking the rules of friendship. Second, Kibum just didn't want to know; confirmation would be the worst of all.

His phone pinged with a push notification about Orbit International making the news, and Kibum frowned. He'd been getting them sporadically for the last month or so and hadn't really been reading them, as words like _equity_ and _subsidiary_ made him drop instantly to sleep, but since this morning alone there had been three news notifications.

Unbidden, a feeling of trepidation crept up Kibum's neck, and he opened the notification to read the latest article.

The usual soporific terms were still littered throughout, and the article addressed Orbit and the Jang Group's burgeoning relationship, in evidence at a gala birthday party held for CEO Jang's 60th over the weekend, sparking rumors of a potential merger. While Kibum couldn't have cared less about their corporate dealings, much less CEO Jang's social activities, Jonghyun's name caught his eye and held his attention. Apparently the Kim family had been in attendance and seated as close to the Hans as was possible without actually being kin.

_While a spokesman from the Jang Group dismissed the rumors of a merger as "premature"_ , Kibum read, _he insinuated that the presence of Orbit International's chairman and family was not purely for social reasons._

_Analysts note that it makes sense for both companies to seek diversification in order to reduce risk within the current shifting markets. Kim Jonghyun and Han Eungyu are both first in line for succession at their respective companies, and a union between the two powerhouse families would undoubtedly strengthen their footing across several industries._

Kibum put down his phone. While it was nowhere near the debauched imaginings he had dreamed up on hearing Jonghyun had spent his weekend with Han Eungyu, the news didn't exactly fill him with joy either. In fact, it was, somehow, worse. It seemed everything was going according to CEO Jang's plan.

"Not her again," Taemin said, later that evening when Kibum had slouched home in a nihilistic fog and been forced to explain why.

"I can never escape her," Kibum said dully. "I'll be on my deathbed at ninety-five and she'll be there, smugly outliving me and showing me pictures of Jonghyun and Eungyu's grandchildren."

Taemin handed Kibum's phone back across the dining table where they sat, pressing the button to turn the screen black on the article he'd been given to read. He didn't say anything for a moment, seeming to struggle with something internally before, at last, saying, "It wasn't like this before. When _that person_ cheated. And when _that other person_ left you."

"Why would you bring that up?" Kibum said, already unhappy and not needing to be reminded of his past romantic failures.

"It's just…" Taemin gestured vaguely, trying to find the words. "You got over them, really quick. I mean, there were a few days of crying and drinking and wishing a lot of venereal diseases on them, but you got over them."

Kibum shrugged, not seeing where Taemin was riding this train of thought. "They were jerks. That makes it easy."

"Then maybe you should think of Jonghyun-hyung as a jerk, too. For not loving you back," Taemin suggested. "It's not far from that person and that other person not loving you."

Despite himself, it made sense in a strange, convoluted way. Still, "That's not his fault. I _made_ him that way." Kibum pulled the Arrow out of his work bag and tossed it on the dining table. "This _thing_ made him that way." He reconsidered. "Or maybe it didn't. I don't know. Maybe he is truly interested in Han Eungyu and this only accelerated the process. What does it matter now?"

Taemin scrutinized the Arrow, his eyebrows drawing together, dissatisfied. He picked it up and turned it in his hands, then set it down again gingerly. "So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" said Kibum. "Nothing's different, not really. I just… I guess I didn't prepare myself that well for this development. I should have expected it. So I suppose I'll have to make myself expect a wedding invitation on my desk at some point."

He said it with a weary smile, fully resigning himself to the idea.

Even as Kibum inched toward peace with his decision, Taemin sped in the opposite direction. He whapped Kibum on the arm petulantly. "You should have listened to me in the first place!"

Kibum hit him back. "About what?"

"You should have just… not stayed friends with him," said Taemin, rubbing his wounded arm. "Then you wouldn't be like this. Miserable. And you think you've been hiding it, too, but I know. Because I have eyes. And you're miserable."  

"But you like him, too, don't you? He's a good guy," said Kibum. "A good friend. He buys you food all the time."

"That's not the point," Taemin argued. He gave Kibum a look that was equal parts sad and disgusted. "Is this really how you're going to leave it?"

Shrugging, Kibum said, "Not everyone gets a happy ending. In fact, a lot of people don't. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay," said Taemin, getting riled up. "If he gets married to her, I will personally storm in and… and… _ruin_ it. I'll kidnap the priest and steal all the flowers and throw them in the river." He paused. "Not the priest. The priest… I'll give him a nice cup of tea and forbid him to go to the wedding!"

Kibum rolled his eyes, amused in spite of himself, as Taemin's threat got farther and farther away from him. "If we get invited to Jonghyun's wedding," he said calmly, "you're going to be a consummate guest and wear a suit and smile for all the pictures and not make eye contact with the priest. Imagine if you did ruin the wedding? Think how upset Jinki would be with you and your juvenile antics. You'd make him cry."

Taemin's mouth fell open in disbelief. "You can't use my own weapon against me!"

"Jinki's face goes both ways," Kibum said. "It's equally distressing for everyone!"

"This is so unfair," Taemin yelled.

"Well, then, maybe you'll think twice before imprisoning a priest," Kibum said.

Taemin scowled, but the indignation in his eyes blinked out a second later. "He's not really going to marry her, is he?"

"I don't know," said Kibum. "But honestly, for my own sanity, I think I have to anticipate that he will."

Taemin sighed, pouting. "This is Minho-hyung's fault. He didn't push CEO Jang off a cliff like he said he would. You'd think he wouldn't mind going to jail for the rest of his life in the name of true love."

Kibum chuckled. "So selfish."

 

***

 

Despite vowing to cause a major scene at his future wedding, Taemin behaved no differently around Jonghyun, which was a relief. In fact, it seemed a foregone conclusion that Jonghyun should be included in the festivities when Taemin got a significant pay raise at the dance studio he worked for and wanted to treat his friends to dinner.  

"I'm rich," said Taemin contentedly as looked again at the letter about his pay that he'd gotten from the studio owner. Stretched out the full length of their sofa, Taemin nudged Kibum's knee with his toes, having to slide down a little to reach him at the armchair. "Imagine all the cool stuff I can buy now."

"Invest it," Kibum said, only half paying attention while he watched TV.

"No, I'm going to buy a yacht."

Kibum laughed. "Unless your boss died and left everything to you in her will, you still can't afford a yacht."

"Why must you crush my dreams?" said Taemin.

"Have better dreams," Kibum said. "And get dressed. We have to leave soon. The host can't be late for his own dinner."

"The host is paying for dinner, so everyone will be happy to wait for him," Taemin said, though he moved his legs off the sofa. The rest of him was still glued to it, apparently reluctant to follow.

Kicking at Taemin's legs so he would fall onto the floor, Kibum said, "Everyone will also be happy to order the most expensive things on the menu while the host isn't around to stop them."

Taemin got up. "The host needs better friends."

"Too bad, you're stuck with what you've got," said Kibum with a winning smile.

Although Taemin's expression suggested he didn't care for the hand he'd been dealt, he didn't argue the point and went to his room to change. A few moments later, he stuck his head out again. "Hyung? Is my watch out there? Or did I maybe leave it in your room?"

Looking around the living room in vain, Kibum frowned. "It's not here. I don't know about my room; why would you have taken it off there?"

Popping back into his own bedroom to search again, Taemin came out another second later, acceptably dressed this time, and said, "Did I… also leave my rings in your room?"

"I don't know. Go and check," said Kibum, though he had no idea why Taemin would be shedding accessories in his bedroom. "What were you doing in my room anyway?"

Taemin shrugged, pure nonchalance. "Reading your diary. Looking at your porn."

Kibum threw a couch cushion at him, which Taemin managed to dodge. "You don't even like my porn." He also didn't keep a diary, so the question of what shenanigans Taemin might have been up to in there remained unanswered.

Taemin strolled into Kibum's room, emerging a few minutes later holding up a silver ring. "Found one! Still don't know where my watch is, though… Or my other rings…" He brightened up, slipping the ring on his finger. "Still, I have this one."

"See, that's why you can't buy a yacht. You'd just lose it, too."

"That's the beauty of a yacht. It's too big to lose," Taemin pointed out.

"You say that now, but remember the time you borrowed Minho's car?" Kibum said, picking up his set of the house keys and walking to the front door, ready to set off.

"I knew you were going to throw that in my face."

As Taemin sailed past Kibum out the door, Kibum added, "And then you called the police because you thought it got stolen?"

"No, I don't remember that at all," said Taemin called over his shoulder as he walked quickly down the corridor, ostensibly to get away from Kibum and his perfect recollections. "These are all lies."

"But you had only left it somewhere that you couldn't remember?" Kibum went on.

"I can't hear you!" said Taemin, running to the elevator.

He punched the down button repeatedly, slipped inside as soon as the doors opened, and then hurriedly tried to make them close again before Kibum could get there. He stuck his tongue out. Unfortunately for him, a mother and her small child rounded the corner towards the elevator, and he was obligated to hold the doors open for them and for Kibum so as not to look like a sociopath.

Kibum sauntered in and, standing with Taemin at the back of the cab, smiled serenely and very smugly the whole way down.

Once they reached the ground level and the mother and child had left, Taemin said, "I know you think you've won."

"And I have," said Kibum.

"I'm going to buy a yacht just to spite you," said Taemin.

"Well, then, see if I help you when it's lost at sea within the first ten minutes."

Taemin took hold of Kibum's arm, swinging it as they walked together to their neighborhood subway station. "Hyung, you're so mean. After all the nice things I've done for you."

"… Like?"

"Like this dinner! And…" Taemin hesitated. "Other things…"

Kibum laughed. "That's a very persuasive point."

Nodding, Taemin said, "Your life would be so terrible and empty without me."

They debated who was more important for part of their travel to the restaurant, the rest of the time on equally scintillating topics as the affair Taemin suspected their neighbor was having, whether they needed new art for the living room, and why Kibum hadn't baked that replacement birthday cake yet like he'd said he would.

"I'm busy," said Kibum, as they got off the train. "Did you know peak wedding season is now in the fall? That means right now I have a bunch of people wanting me to match them in time to have a date for all those weddings."

"Can't you just match anyone with anyone? Isn't that the whole point of the Arrow?"

Kibum shrugged. "It's more effective if they're already inclined to like the person. Common interests and all that."

"I wonder what Gongju and Mocha had in common…"

"The dogs in our building?" Kibum laughed. It seemed so long ago now.

"I want to arrange a play date for them," Taemin said. "They liked each other so much… I don't know why their owners don't let them play with each other."

"Probably because their owners have some concept of boundaries and are not as brazen and mentally unsound as you, going around just knocking on doors to borrow people's dogs on a whim," Kibum said, swatting his arm.

Taemin grinned. "It worked, didn't it? Though honestly, I'm surprised it did. And I'm still surprised the Arrow actually works, too…"

"Magic doesn't have to make sense. That's why it's magic," said Kibum, wondering when this had stopped being surprising for him.  

They reached the Japanese restaurant Taemin had picked with a little time to spare before their reservation time, and found Minho already waiting there.

"Congratulations," said Minho, about Taemin's pay raise. He threw an arm around Taemin. "It's about time they recognized what hard work you put in for them. All those ahjummas come to dance classes just for you."

"I'm going to buy a yacht."

"No," said Minho.

Taemin screwed up his nose. "Why won't anyone let me live?"

Jonghyun and Jinki arrived together in short order, and soon they were seated and enjoying a feast that Taemin had apparently put no limits on, as if he actually did have yacht money to blow.

By the end of the meal, everyone was stuffed to the gills but reluctant to leave, enjoying each other's company too much to want to call an end to the evening.

Taemin leaned back in his chair with a sigh after a member of staff had walked hopefully by for the third time to check whether he had even looked at the bill placed unobtrusively on the table. "Why do fun things always go so quickly, but things like cleaning the house seem to go on forever?"

"What are you talking about?" Kibum said. "I'm always the one doing the cleaning."

"And it takes you forever," Taemin said.

"If everyone wants to," Jonghyun offered, "we can go to my house for a few more drinks. I'm always happy to have you come over."

"I accept!" Taemin said, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Minho nodded his agreement as well, but said, "Just need to go to the restroom first." He got up and went in search of the men's room, disappearing uncertainly around a corner.

"Good idea," said Taemin. He nudged Jinki discreetly. "Jinki-hyung, do you have to go, too?"

"Uh? No," said Jinki, shaking his head. "Do you?"

"No, just checking," said Taemin.

Kibum, taking only faint notice of this interaction, registered it just enough to note, not for the first time, how weird they were together.

With a new place marked to continue their revelry, the group had no qualms about leaving now. Taemin took care of the bill quickly, and they split themselves into Minho and Jonghyun's cars. It wasn't long before they were all gathered again, in Jonghyun's foyer this time.

"Where's my friend?" Kibum asked immediately, peering around for signs of Roo. 

"Give her time; there are so many of you," Jonghyun said. "Come in, come in. Come and sit in the living room."

While everyone else settled themselves in the long, comfortable couches, Jonghyun went to the adjacent kitchen to get out the drinks. He returned only a second later with an awkward look on his face and a small bottle of makgeolli in one hand and a beer bottle in the other.

"Sorry," he said, "This is all I have. I thought I had more drinks here… I don't know when the last time I bought them was… There's a convenience store really close by, though. Just a few minutes' walk from here. I can go and pick up some quickly."

"No, no, I'll go," Minho said, getting to his feet. "You're already letting us invade your house like this. I'll go, I'll go. Where is it?"

While Jonghyun accepted his offer with thanks and gave him directions to the convenience store, Taemin poked Jinki's arm. "Jinki-hyung, why don't you go with him? He might need help carrying the stuff back."

"Huh?" said Jinki.

"It's just… you look sleepy, so I think the walk will help you wake up a bit. We still have lots of drinking and chatting to do; you can't fall asleep yet."

With no argument from Jinki, who only shrugged and followed Minho out with a smile, Taemin had just a questioning look from Kibum to contend with next.

"Fewer people means it's more likely Roo will come out, right?" Taemin said. "I didn't get to play with her last time. You were hogging her."

"I wasn't hogging her," said Kibum. "She naturally gravitates to me because I'm the best and the nicest. That's just science."

"She really did like you," said Jonghyun, smiling. "Let me see if I can find her. I'm sure she won't mind being paraded around and fawned over. Byulroo-yah," he called out in a singsong voice as he walked from the living room down a short corridor where, presumably, the bedrooms were, "Uncle Kibum and Uncle Taemin are here to see you." 

He came back not a minute after with Roo in his arms, and he deposited her in Kibum's lap, which she seemed perfectly fine with.

Taemin wasn't. "Not fair," he said, reaching out to pet her head.

"You like me best, don't you?" Kibum crooned to the dog while Jonghyun looked on with amusement and affection. "Yes, you do. You're so smart." 

"Jonghyun-hyung, can I use your bathroom?" Taemin asked, apparently having given up on wresting Roo's attention from Kibum.

"Yes, of course. It's just behind us here; down this hall and on the left," said Jonghyun.

While Taemin padded off, Kibum cuddled Roo within an inch of her life. "You have such a great dog," Kibum whined at Jonghyun. "Can't I kidnap her just a little? I promise I'll think about bringing her back."

Jonghyun laughed. "Surprisingly, that doesn't fill me with confidence."

"Why are you being so difficult? I'll just get her to run away with me, then," said Kibum. He turned Roo to face him and looked seriously into her eyes. "Roo, meet me at the train station at midnight. We'll be as far as Busan before anyone realizes we're gone and we'll finally be free of these shackles," he said, pointing at Jonghyun.

"No dog of mine is running away with the likes of you," Jonghyun said. "Aigo, the more I let you play with my dog, the more criminal your mind becomes. No, no, no, you're no good for her." 

Kibum lifted Roo onto her hind legs, facing Jonghyun. He hid his face behind her, affecting a high-pitched voice. "But Father, I love him."

Jonghyun burst into laughter, his eyes squeezing shut, his hands coming up to cover his laugh. "Oh no, this is my worst nightmare. That's it, you're cut off."

Despite Kibum calling it a human rights violation, Jonghyun picked Roo up out of Kibum's arms and set her on the floor. She toddled off placidly, appearing unaware of the major battle that had just been fought over her, and came upon Taemin, who was standing in the hallway, having just come out of the bathroom.

Taemin sat down cross-legged on the floor and let Roo check him out. "Finally, it's my turn," he said with glee.

"This is a travesty," said Kibum.

Jonghyun patted his knee. "I'm doing this for your own good. We need to nip this condition in the bud before it gets out of hand."

"Condition?" Kibum laughed.

Nodding wisely, Jonghyun said, "Sure, it starts with kidnapping little dogs at first, but they're just gateway animals. Soon, that won't be enough of a thrill for you. Then it'll be bigger animals next. You'll think, oh, a mountain goat won't hurt, and then before you know it, you'll be knee-deep in walruses and polar bears." He shook Kibum by the shoulders. "Where will it end, Kibum? Where will it end?"

Kibum giggled as he was being shaken, every single word out of Jonghyun's mouth too ludicrous not to laugh at.

"You guys both have problems," said Taemin.

"I'm beginning to think so," said Kibum, eyeing Jonghyun.

"Only now?" Jonghyun asked genially.

"I mean," said Kibum, "I always had my suspicions, but now…" He shook his head, like a doctor meting out a terminal diagnosis. "And I know Taemin and Jinki, who are both world-class weird, so the competition was stiff to begin with."

Taemin's head popped up. "Hey, this isn't about me. You leave me out of this."

"You're the one who butted into this in the first place," Kibum pointed out.

"Don't try to use facts against me," said Taemin.

Soon, Minho and Jinki were back, toting bags of what was probably too much alcohol in each hand, plus a wide assortment of snacks, as if they hadn't all already eaten their collective weight in dinner not half an hour ago.

Their get-together carried on well into the night, and they were approaching the wee hours of the morning by the time things dwindled down.

Kibum and Taemin called a taxi to get back, despite Jonghyun offering his couches. When they were safely ensconced inside and on their way home, Kibum said, only slurring a little, "That was fun."

"Definite success," Taemin agreed.

 

***

 

Something was wrong. Kibum strolled into Blue Night on his usual Thursday, but Jonghyun wasn't there. Instead, manning the counter was another employee Kibum had occasionally seen before but never taken much notice of – how could he, when Jonghyun was around and shining so bright as to obliterate everything else around him?

Getting in line, Kibum wondered if he should text Jonghyun. In all the time he'd been coming to Blue Night he had never known Jonghyun to miss a Thursday.

Then again, Kibum thought with a frown, Jonghyun had said he'd liked Thursdays because that was the day Kibum came in. But that might not be the case now. Maybe Thursdays didn't matter to Jonghyun anymore.

Which was okay, said a bracing thought in Kibum's head. Thursdays _shouldn't_ matter to Jonghyun anymore; he was with someone else, someone who would apparently help him and his family create a monopoly over any number of domestic and foreign industries. As long as Jonghyun was happy, Kibum should be, too.

Kibum dredged up a polite smile as he approached the counter. He opened his mouth to order his usual drink, but was cut off by the Blue Night employee, a young student type in a backwards baseball cap, who passed him a warm coffee cup.

"The boss said you'd be coming in for this," the young man said.

"Oh," said Kibum, accepting it in surprise.

"Free of charge," was the follow-up when Kibum attempted to hand over his cash.

"Oh," said Kibum again. "Uh, thank you. Is he… Where is Jonghyun? Is he okay?"

With a helpless shrug, the young man said, "I don't know. He didn't say. He just called me this early morning to say he had some emergency and couldn't come in. And that I should make your drink at this time."

If Jonghyun was in a frame of mind to remember Kibum's usual drink, then that probably meant that whatever the emergency was, it wasn't anything too worrisome. Not that telling himself that made Kibum fret over it any less during his walk to work.

When he got to Heartwood, Jinki was already there, like always.

Kibum pounced. "Did something happen to Jonghyun?"

Though Jinki recoiled in astonishment at first, he bounced back with a reassuring smile. "No, he said there was a board meeting he had to go to in Ulsan."

"Oh," said Kibum. That didn't seem like much of an emergency after all, and his heart rate decelerated to manageable levels, though a part of him still had difficulty reconciling the Jonghyun he knew with the grim rigidity of corporate life. "I thought something had happened."

"He said he should be back by tonight," Jinki added helpfully.

"Okay," said Kibum. He rubbed his chest. "I was worried. Over nothing, I guess."

He couldn't shake the feeling, though, even with the rational knowledge that board meetings should not strike even mild fear in the hearts of most people. He managed to keep it together for most of the day, especially seeing that Jinki remained unconcerned about Jonghyun's absence, and not wanting to bother Jonghyun with what really amounted to unwarranted motherly nagging.

Jonghyun was a grown man who could take care of himself and did not need Kibum to ask whether he had eaten and if he was doing all right, particularly not in the middle of a board meeting.

So Kibum didn't go near his phone until he got home, by which time he had convinced himself that texting Jonghyun to thank him for getting his macchiato prepared even when he wasn't physically present was an entirely justified reason for reaching out. And if he happened to throw in a few _Have you eaten_ s in there, that was just a risk they'd both have to take.

_Thank you for my macchiato_ , Kibum typed. _That was really nice of you to remember. Is everything okay?_

The response came seconds later. _Everything's fine. Emergency board meeting. On my way home soon._

Was it just Kibum, or did the reply seem more terse than usual? He frowned and put his phone down. Normally he hailed modern telecommunications as a minor miracle, but in situations like these, he hated that he couldn't see Jonghyun's face and had to try to suss out his emotional state from a few bare words. Was Jonghyun just in a hurry? Was he upset about something? Did he not appreciate Kibum getting in touch with him? Was Kibum reading far too much into a single message?

Kibum left his phone on his nightstand and went to take a shower, hoping it would help him get his mind off the message. It didn't.

When he came back, it was to a missed call from Jonghyun.

Immediately, Kibum dialed his number.

"Oh, Kibum-ah, thanks for calling me back," Jonghyun said as soon as he picked up. He sounded different, tired. 

"Hi," said Kibum. "Are you okay?"

A soft chuckle sounded through the line. "Yes, you don't have to keep asking me. I’m okay. I just… I'm sorry if my message earlier seemed a little short; I was in the middle of talking to my father then."

"Oh," said Kibum, not sure if he should press the issue. What little he knew about Jonghyun's relationship with his father was that it was, at best, tense. "Uh, at the risk of you hanging up on me, are you really okay?"

"Yeees," Jonghyun said, sounding more amused than annoyed. "Hang on. Hey, I'm going to video call you, okay?"

Kibum hesitated. His hair was still wet and scraggly, and he had a splotch of zit cream on his chin. "Why? I just got out of the shower…"

"Whatever, I don't care," Jonghyun said in a singsong voice. "I'm video calling you. You better pick up!"

The next thing Kibum knew, their call was cut off, and another one was coming in – a video call, just as Jonghyun had threatened. Kibum answered it with a scowl plastered on his face.

"Just because you gave me free coffee today," Kibum said with a growl, "I will let this egregious abuse of our friendship pass."

Jonghyun grinned, though Kibum was disheartened to note to himself that Jonghyun looked as he had sounded before – exhausted. "Ah, it's nice to see your smiling face," said Jonghyun impishly. 

"And this gigantic pimple erupting on my chin," Kibum complained.

"I can't even see anything. What are you talking about?" Jonghyun said. "Anyway, I'm glad you got your coffee. I gave special instructions, but I wasn't sure if it would actually get done. Sorry I couldn't be there."

"Was it something… bad?" Kibum asked. "That there was an emergency meeting?"

"Just business stuff," said Jonghyun. "Boring." It didn't escape Kibum's notice that it didn't actually answer the question he'd asked, nor did Kibum believe for a minute that Jonghyun wasn't keeping something back from him.

"You look really tired," Kibum said.

Jonghyun waved it off. "I was just up too early today. Don't worry about me."

Appreciating now being on a video call, Kibum gave him an appropriately arch, discerning look. "You look terrible, how can I not worry about you? Did you eat anything today?"

Jonghyun nodded obediently. "All three meals."

"Coffee doesn't count as a meal."

"All two meals," Jonghyun corrected.

"When are you back?" Kibum asked.

Jonghyun checked something out of frame. "Late tonight, around eleven. My flight is in a couple of hours. I'll be getting on my way to the airport pretty soon, actually."

"Do you have anyone picking you up?"

Shaking his head, Jonghyun said, "No, I was just going to grab a taxi."

"Why don't I come and pick you up?" Kibum's mouth offered before Kibum's brain had a chance to intervene. This had not been part of the agreement when Kibum had decided to accept a future with a Han-Kim wedding in it; he wasn't supposed to actively create situations for him and Jonghyun to be alone. When the words processed, Kibum's brain threw up its metaphorical hands in disbelief and staged a walkout.

"What?" said Jonghyun.

"I'm picking you up," Kibum's mouth repeated, enjoying the novelty of free reign. "I can't have you coming back all exhausted and ending up who knows where in the middle of the night?"

"Home," said Jonghyun, discombobulated. "That's what I'll be paying the taxi driver to do. To take me home. And it's only from Gimpo."

"No, no, I'm coming," said Kibum. "I mean, who would you rather see when you get back? Some surly, pockmarked old man who might try to rip you off, or me, your favorite friend even with this massive zit on his face?"

Jonghyun smiled in spite of the fact that Kibum was insisting on putting himself out for something that could very well be taken care of easily without him. "Definitely you. Though, to be fair, I've had lots of nice taxi drivers." He paused. "But also, you don't have a car."

"A minor technicality," said Kibum. "But don't worry, I'll be there. Text me your flight information. I'll be there."

After hanging up and getting Jonghyun's arrival information as promised, Kibum set to work haranguing Minho by phone for the use of his SUV.

For a brief moment, he considered lying about the reason why, knowing that Minho, if not exactly disapproving, worried about Kibum keeping up his friendship with Jonghyun. But in the end he went with the truth, which was that, "Jonghyun is getting in really late after a long day; I just want to make sure he gets home safely."

Minho sighed. "Okay, but you have to come and pick it up. I'm not driving over to your place just for this. And I need it back by tomorrow morning, before work," he warned.

"Yes!" said Kibum. "Absolutely. You're the greatest. I'll be there soon!"

Thankfully, Minho didn't live far, and neither did he grumble too much once Kibum showed up to claim the car keys, though he did withhold them for a minute to say, "Are you sure you know what you're doing? You haven't driven in a long time."

"It's late; there aren't that many cars on the road now. It'll be okay," Kibum said. "Anyway, it can't be worse than when Taemin borrowed your car, right?"

"Fine," Minho conceded, and relinquished the keys. "But if I see one scratch – _one scratch_ – you will owe me your firstborn."

Kibum didn't point out that he already owed Minho seven of his future children for various favors collected throughout the years, and simply acknowledged the terms, taking the keys and fleeing before Minho could rescind his agreement.

He arrived at the airport with confirmation appearing on his phone that Jonghyun's flight had come in on time. Parking the car, he walked to the waiting area for arrivals and watched closely the stream of passengers coming out until he spotted his quarry.

Kibum waved both arms high in the air until he caught Jonghyun's attention, getting a big smile in return.

"Ah, you really didn't have to do this," Jonghyun said as they walked side by side to the parking lot.

"I wanted to," said Kibum, shrugging.

"Thank you," said Jonghyun quietly, flicking a quick glance at Kibum.

Once they got in the car, Kibum presented Jonghyun with a small thermos of green tea. "See, a regular taxi driver would never do this," Kibum boasted. "Aren't you glad I steamrolled you into letting me come and pick you up?"

"This is too much," Jonghyun said. He narrowed his eyes at Kibum playfully. "What are you trying to prove?"

"You keep giving me free coffee," Kibum said, pulling out of the lot. "I have to find a way to pay you back, otherwise I'm going to end up giving you my eighth firstborn."

Jonghyun laughed. "What?"

"Every time," Kibum explained, "Minho does something big for me, he says I owe him my firstborn. The tally stands at seven right now, and you're getting the eighth one. Possibly the ninth, if I damage Minho's car. These are the rules; I didn't make them."  

Rolling right along with it, Jonghyun said, "I'll name her Nokcha, in honor of this moment." He lifted the tea thermos as if in a toast.

"Oh, it's going to be a girl, is it?" Kibum said.

"Of course," Jonghyun said. "Girls are more fun to spoil. Although, come to think of it, I wouldn't complain if it was a boy either. How about I do you more favors and you give me one of each?"

"This isn't a negotiation," Kibum laughed. 

"Minho's already getting seven or eight of them; he won't care if there's one more or one less boy or girl in the mix," Jonghyun said. "And he didn't specify, right? So I get to choose what I want."

"You'll get what you get!" said Kibum.

They both laughed, though Kibum found himself sobering a moment later to think that they were so close to it being a real discussion. If things were somehow different. If they had been able to follow their initial trajectory, would they one day be discussing baby names and nursery colors for real?

This late, the traffic flow was relatively clear, and it didn't take long to get to Jonghyun's place. Kibum pulled up to the front gate and put the car in park, turning on the interior lights to make sure Jonghyun didn't accidentally leave anything behind.

"Okay, we're here," said Kibum. "Get some sleep. You've had such a long day. Don't go to work tomorrow if you still feel tired, okay? You need to get your rest."

Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, his eyes filled with tears.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Kibum asked in alarm.

"Ah, I must be really tired," Jonghyun said, wiping his eyes hastily. Pulling himself together, he turned to Kibum with a watery smile. "Thank you. It's really nice to be taken care of like this."

With an awkward laugh, Kibum said, "What are you talking about? It was only a short drive. Go in, go in. Get some rest."

Jonghyun hesitated for a moment, as if he had something more to say, but in the end he complied, slipping out of the car. He held the thermos to his chest and leant down to look in the window and give Kibum another round of thanks.

"What are friends for?" said Kibum.

Jonghyun's gaze cast downward for a moment, and he brought it back up with a small smile. "Good night, Kibum."

Kibum nodded in acknowledgement. "Good night."


	10. Chapter 10

"Cake, cake, cake, cake," Taemin chanted, banging his fists on his own legs.

"You are welcome to keep this up for two hours, because that's how long it's going to take to make it," Kibum said, getting his pans and ingredients together for Taemin's replacement birthday cake. "In fact, I dare you to."

He sort of regretted having offered to make a whole new one, and on a Saturday afternoon, too; it was time-consuming and occasionally tricky getting the cake out of the pan after baking and Taemin had already eaten half the fruits that were supposed to go on top.

"Cake, cake, cake, cake," whispered Jinki, who had been invited over with the promise of cake and company.

"Get out of my kitchen, both of you," Kibum ordered. "If you're not here to help, I don't want you in here. Taem, _stop eating those._ Get out of the fridge."

"Sorry," said Taemin through a grinning mouthful of fruit. He closed the refrigerator door. "We'll go, we'll go. We know when we're not wanted. Right, Jinki-hyung?"

"Hm?" said Jinki, who looked as though he had been on the verge of offering to help, only to be distracted by Taemin. Aware only that a question had been posed to him, Jinki said uncertainly, "Yes."

"Actually, no, come back," said Kibum. "Your punishment is going to the supermarket to get more fruits."

Taemin frowned. "But… TV." Before Kibum could argue, Taemin said, "I have a better idea! I'll ask Jonghyun-hyung to pick some up on his way here. He's still at work but he said he could come later."

This was news to Kibum. "Oh, he's coming, too?"

Taemin nodded and grinned. "You don't mind, right? He'll probably be better at helping anyway. It's too bad Minho-hyung went to that football match, then it would really be a party."

Making a noncommittal noise to show he was still listening while actually being preoccupied with other thoughts, Kibum started cracking and separating his eggs. It wasn't exactly suspicious that Taemin had invited Jonghyun without telling him; the two of them had become friends independent of Kibum, too, after all. But Taemin could also get ideas in his head and refuse to let them go, and given his recent talk about ruining weddings, Kibum couldn't help but wonder if he was still set on Kibum and Jonghyun being together.

In a way, it was a thoughtful gesture and driven by Taemin trying to make his hyung happy. But even Kibum had given up on the idea, so why Taemin, if this was indeed what he was trying to do, was still working so hard for it was a little inexplicable. Kibum sighed quietly with the thought that they might need to have another talk later about why abducting priests was a bad thing.

By the time Jonghyun arrived, the cake was baked and cooling, and Kibum had joined Taemin and Jinki for a little television break.

Taemin jumped up to let Jonghyun in and said, looking at Jonghyun's hands as he walked in, which were carrying a bag of drinks but no fruit, "Oh? You didn't get my message?"

"What message?" Jonghyun asked, pulling his phone out from his pocket.

"I texted you to see if you could pick up some fruits on the way…" Taemin said, peering over Jonghyun's shoulder while he checked for missed messages.

Jonghyun shook his head, confused. He showed Taemin his screen. "I didn't get anything."

"I told you not to eat them!" Kibum called out from the couch. The cake decoration would be sparse, then. Maybe he could cut a banana in half, turn it into a sad mouth, and dot a grape each above it for eyes to make a frowny face. Maybe making Taemin eat a forlorn cake would teach him to keep his hands off Kibum's prep.

"…I can go… What… fruits did you want?" Jonghyun said hesitantly, still not quite caught up with what was happening.

Taemin ushered him inside. "No, no, no, you just got here. Sit, sit." He pushed Jonghyun down onto the sofa next to Kibum and said, nobly, gazing into the distance, "I was the one who ate them. I'll be the one to get more. It's only fair."

"That's what I said an hour ago," Kibum pointed out, but was ignored.

"Jinki-hyung, can you come with me? Otherwise I'll be lonely," Taemin wheedled, even though there was a supermarket practically next door to their apartment building.

"Okay," said Jinki, affable as always. He got up and followed Taemin to the door, no questions asked. "See you later," he said to Kibum and Jonghyun.

Kibum watched them go with narrowed eyes. "These kids…" he said, but had nothing to follow it up with. At least, not something too rude for company.

Looking blankly around the living room, Jonghyun said, "I… still don't know what's going on. What's with all the fruit?"

"Oh, did Taemin not lure you over here with cake? I'm making a cake," Kibum explained. "It's to make up for his birthday one, which we kind of destroyed… in his face. There are pictures." Kibum grinned as Jonghyun nodded his approval. "Anyway, it needs a layer of fruit on top and in the middle, but Taemin ate most of them this morning."

"Ah, I see," said Jonghyun.  

After watching more TV in a companionable silence for a while, Kibum got up, looking over to the kitchen, and mused to himself, "The cake should be cooled by now… I can probably start on the cream." Technically he could have started a while ago, on both the cream and syrup, but… TV.

"Do you need help?" asked Jonghyun.

"See, this is why I like you," Kibum declared, wishing there were witnesses. "You offer to help instead of just saying 'cake' at me."

Jonghyun smiled. "I can also do that."

"Don't you dare," said Kibum. "If you want to help, I can use a hand."

Jonghyun followed him to the kitchen and said, of the bare and lightly browned sponge cake on the cooling rack, "That looks good."

"It is," Kibum assured him. He showed Jonghyun the recipe and pointed to the simple syrup section. "Can you get this together?"

Saluting, Jonghyun said, "Yes, sir."

They worked easily as a team, pulling together what they each needed, never getting in each other's way even in the cramped space of the small kitchen. Jonghyun had been tasked with making simple syrup, which, for the first few minutes, required waiting for water to boil, so Jonghyun watched Kibum whip cream instead.

"Ta-da," said Kibum, when he got his stiff peaks.

"How come yours is so fast?" Jonghyun asked, peering at the gentle, barely-there bubbles of his sugar water on the stove.

"Where's my syrup?" Kibum said, knowing full well it wasn't ready.

Jonghyun clicked his tongue. "Don't rush perfection."

"Please," said Kibum, not having it. " _This_ ," he said, dipping a finger in the whipped cream, "is perfection." He tapped his finger on Jonghyun's nose, possibly because his brain still hadn't come back from its strike. Without it there, it wasn't only his mouth going rogue now; entire limbs were deciding stupid things on their own. There would be a lot of mess to clean up once his mind got back.

A short laugh, mostly air, snapped out of Jonghyun's mouth. He looked at Kibum in disbelief, the glare coming across just fine, even with whipped cream adorning his nose. "That was uncalled for."

Kibum backed away slowly. "Now, I can see you're thinking of retaliating, but throwing a pot of boiling water on me is less _fun prank on friend_ and more _serious jail-time crime_."

"Oh," said Jonghyun, reconsidering. "I guess this is my only choice, then." He put two fingers in the cream and wiped it on Kibum's face. 

"That's fair," Kibum conceded, nodding.

"Don't cross me," Jonghyun said with a warning finger, turning away briefly to make sure the syrup was doing okay. Obviously, this was his mistake.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Kibum said airily, then took a spatula and spread whipped cream over the back of Jonghyun's neck like a flourished brushstroke.

Wide-eyed, Jonghyun turned around, shaking his head. "What did I just say about crossing me?"

"Don't remember," said Kibum, wielding the spatula like a defensive weapon. "Couldn't concentrate because I was looking at—" He pointed in Jonghyun's general direction and couldn't help a snicker. "You have a bit of something… right there… It's really distracting. You should get it checked out. It could be a real problem." 

Not, apparently, one for waste, Jonghyun swiped the cream from the back of his neck and went after Kibum with it.

Given the way things were going, it shouldn't have come as a surprise when Kibum got backed against the fridge with Jonghyun pressed into him and Jonghyun's fingers ending up in Kibum's mouth. It really shouldn't have, but it did anyway. Also, given what Kibum knew about the universe getting its kicks from embarrassing the living daylights out of him, it shouldn't have come as a surprise either that Taemin and Jinki should come back at this precise moment to see what could accurately be described as Kibum and Jonghyun in a compromising position.  

Everything and everyone froze for a moment, one perfect moment of stillness that lasted just long enough for Kibum's brain to check back in, assess the situation, and hurl its resignation letter to the floor in a fit of pique.

Kibum jumped back, cheeks burning red. "We were just—" He didn't know how to finish the sentence. He was sure they already looked so guilty no jury in the world needed more than a nanosecond to agree on conviction.

"Ha, I knew it wasn't just me," Taemin crowed, shattering the pin-drop silence as he strolled into the kitchen with the fruits. He looked at Kibum with total composure. "You said it always ends up a mess because of me, but that's obviously not true. It's you!" He grinned widely and turned to Jonghyun, who looked equally flustered as Kibum felt. "And you."

Jinki, at the edge of the kitchen, leaned forward and asked, "What… happened?"

"Accident," Jonghyun said immediately.

"Nothing," Kibum said at the same time.

On hearing their answers cross, they made eye contact, then pulled away from it at once. Kibum settled on looking Jinki's way, who appeared no less confused than before.

Taemin sighed a dramatic, long-suffering sigh. "Must I do everything around here?" He shooed Kibum and Jonghyun away. "I'll finish this," he said, gesturing to the cake. "I can't believe I have to make my own birthday cake. Go and clean up."

"Yes, Mother," said Kibum. "But… do you even know what you're doing?"

"Don't sass your mom," said Taemin, brandishing the spatula.

Like chastened children, Kibum and Jonghyun awkwardly left the kitchen with their heads down, strenuously avoiding looking at each other. It had to be overcome, though, and Kibum, unfortunately the host in this situation, would have to do it first.

He gestured to the bathroom. "You can clean up in there," he said, feeling a little sorry now he'd gone for Jonghyun's neck, seeing as the cream was in his hair and seeping into the collar of his shirt. "The shower head is detachable so that should make it easier… I can lend you a shirt, if you want."

Jonghyun nodded. "Okay, thanks. That would be great, actually. It's getting a little…" He shifted his neck. "Uncomfortable." 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have…" Kibum said.

"No, no, I'm sorry I…" Jonghyun gestured helplessly at him.

There was probably no appropriate way to end that sentence, so Kibum waved him toward the bathroom. "Go ahead. I'll get a towel and a shirt for you."

With a slight nod, Jonghyun went into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Kibum heard the shower turn on a second later, giving him a second to breathe and relive in horrifying detail their antics in the kitchen. He tried not to think about it – Jonghyun's hands on his face and fingers on his tongue – and failed.

Kibum took a deep breath and ransacked his closet for something Jonghyun could wear, settling on a plain black T-shirt that he probably wouldn't find objectionable.

By the time Kibum got back to the bathroom, he had lost track of how many mistakes he'd made just throughout this one day. But he was pretty sure the gravest one was forgetting that people with whipped cream dripping down their necks would not – in fact, could not – leave their shirts on while washing it off.

It was a sight he would sear into his memory and cherish until he was too senile to remember even his own name. Also, he wished he had never seen it. Furthermore, it was just a bare back of a human person and he was perhaps making a little too much of it. A lot too much.

Kibum knocked on the door softly, just to announce his presence, and Jonghyun, bent over the shower stall, turned around.

"Here's a clean towel," said Kibum, trying not to stare. "And an extra shirt. I'll just leave them… over here…" He set the stuff down on the toilet bowl. "Do you want to give me your shirt? I'll wash it for you."

"Maybe you should start with your face first?" Jonghyun said with the hint of a smile.

Kibum caught his reflection in the mirror; in all the tumult, he'd somehow managed to forget that he needed to wash, too. "No, I'm just going to go around like this. It's a new look," he said, his mouth curling up. "Anyway, I'll let you finish up first."

"No, it's okay, I'm about done," said Jonghyun. He squinted over his shoulder. "Did I miss any spots?"

Kibum hesitated. There _was_ a small glob of cream still in Jonghyun's hair at the nape of his neck. He had multiple visions of how this could go, a couple of them not suitable for children. But the bottom line was, if it were Minho or Taemin, Kibum wouldn't have any problem taking over and helping them out; why should Jonghyun be different? If he was going to get over his feelings, he needed to get over stupid, unimportant stuff like this, too.

"Just a little. Here, let me do it," said Kibum, stepping forward. He took the shower head from Jonghyun and worked his fingers gently through Jonghyun's hair until the cream washed out. And then for a little bit longer.

He was beyond masochism at this point. He was the Ultra Supreme King Masochist of the World. Someone ought to have thrown him a parade. The noise from the parade might at least be able to mask the sound of his pounding heartbeat. And was it his imagination, or were Jonghyun's breaths getting more shallow?

Guiltily, Kibum pulled his hand away and shut off the water. "All done," he said, his voice only a bit shaky.

It took a second for Jonghyun to unbend and open his eyes. "Thanks," he said quietly and accepted the towel Kibum handed to him.

While he dried off and put the new shirt on, Kibum leaned over the sink to wash his face, which had the triple threat effects of a) getting clean, b) covering the flush in his cheeks, and c) not being able to watch Jonghyun dry off and get dressed.

Not that the sight of Jonghyun, freshly clean and a slightly pink, wearing Kibum's shirt and draping the towel over the back of his neck, didn't make Kibum's stomach flip a little either.

Trying to get his insides under control with a determined internal scolding, Kibum averted his eyes and went for his own towel, wiping his face off.

"Uh, Kibum…" said Jonghyun, his voice low. "There's a bit…"

Kibum turned to face him. "Hm?"

"Just behind here," said Jonghyun, reaching out with his towel to wipe a spot behind Kibum's ear. "You missed it…"

Kibum fought the urge to close his eyes and purr as Jonghyun rubbed the towel over his ear, much, much too close for comfort. Jonghyun tilted his head for a better look, though it felt almost as if he was leaning in for a kiss. It was too much. Kibum swallowed hard, and tried for a laugh to dispel the tension stacking up inside him. "Ah," he complained, "it wasn't even a proper food fight, and it still got everywhere."

"Not a proper food fight?" said Jonghyun, stepping back. "Are you saying you want a rematch?"

"Naturally," said Kibum.

"You're on," said Jonghyun, grinning. "Name the time and place."

Kibum reached for a tube of moisturizer and offered it to Jonghyun. "To be determined," he said, glad to be back in a safe space where they operated as normal again, jocular and irreverent. "Also, rules: no sharp food."

"What?" said Jonghyun with a laugh, rubbing the moisturizer into his cheeks. "Do you think I'm going to throw a pineapple at you?"

"I wouldn't put it past you," Kibum said loftily.

"Where is the trust in this friendship?" said Jonghyun, shaking his head in disappointment. He handed back the moisturizer tube. "Good service here, though. Free shower, free shirt, free moisturizer. I'll definitely recommend this place to all of my friends."

Kibum laughed. "All of your friends are already here."

"I need more friends," said Jonghyun. "Mine won't let me throw pineapples at them."

"I'll let you throw one at Taemin, does that count?"

Jonghyun nodded, pleased. "Deal."

 

***

 

Although Kibum's push notifications, or lack thereof, didn't seem to be very concerned and made no mention of it, Orbit must have been going through some kind of internal upheaval. What else could explain the numerous trips Jonghyun was making to Ulsan? It seemed as though he was going at least once or twice a week now for emergency board meetings.

Of course, Kibum didn't know anything about corporate affairs; perhaps _emergency board meeting_ meant something entirely different to what he thought. Or, maybe Jonghyun was using board meetings as an excuse for something else. Not that it was Kibum's business.

But even if he wanted to stay out of it, Jonghyun didn't give him much of a choice in the matter.

"I need someone to dogsit," said Jonghyun over video call one evening. He looked apologetic, but also in a way that used his most winning smile to get Kibum to say yes. It wasn't difficult to see through, but that didn't mean Kibum wasn't falling for it.

Still, he felt he should put up some token resistance. "Jinki actually lives there," said Kibum. "He can't take care of Roo?"

"Well, I'm sure he can, and they like each other just fine," said Jonghyun, "but she _really_ likes you. I think she'd be more comfortable if you were there. To ease the pain of my long absence."

It seemed like an overstatement for a three-day trip, but Kibum didn't argue.

"And you can use or eat or drink anything you want in the house. You can sleep there, if you want," said Jonghyun. "You can drive my car."

"Oh, now you're making it interesting," said Kibum, who had already been inclined to say yes as soon as Jonghyun had opened his mouth.

"And if you come, Jinki won't be so lonely while I'm gone," said Jonghyun.

Kibum laughed. "Can we, as a group, agree that using Jinki to guilt each other into doing things really should not work as well as it does? Let's stop this madness. Let's stop hurting ourselves."

"I can hear you talking about me," said Jinki's faraway voice from Jonghyun's end, and a second later Jinki wandered into the background of the video call, leaning in with a quizzical look on his face. 

"It's about how much we treasure you," Kibum said loudly.

He heard Jinki's delighted laugh. "Carry on!" said Jinki, and wandered away again.

Jonghyun smiled into the camera. "Please?"

"Of course," said Kibum. "Don't worry about anything; I'll take good care of her. And Jinki. When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow," said Jonghyun. "I'm sorry it's such short notice; I only got the call today, too. I might have to hire one more person at Blue Night to cover when I'm on these trips." He sounded a little frazzled at the thought, and shook his head. "Anyway, sorry, that's not your problem."   

Kibum hesitated for a moment; it truly wasn't his business and Jonghyun hadn't said much more about it, but considering what a disruption these trips seemed to be causing in Jonghyun's life, surely it was Kibum's duty as a friend to try to figure out what was going on. "Is everything okay down there? You've been having to go to Ulsan so often recently."

Jonghyun nodded with a half-smile that seemed more for show than anything. "Everything's fine. My father… he's been wanting me to take a more active role in the business."

"Oh," said Kibum. "Must be tiring for you, having to keep going back and forth like this."

"Yeah, it is a bit," Jonghyun admitted. "But what can you do?"

Kibum had a few suggestions in mind, but didn't share them. Neither did he voice the concern that had just popped up in his mind – that Jonghyun's role in Orbit might get so active, he would eventually have to leave Seoul altogether.


	11. Chapter 11

Despite Jonghyun's offering blanket access to anything and everything in his house, Kibum didn't sleep there. Jinki was already using the guest room, and why sleep on a couch when Kibum had his own bed at home? There _was_ Jonghyun's bedroom, but that, even as pathetic as Kibum sometimes felt, seemed like crossing a very large boundary from okay to totally creepy.

Which was not to say he didn't occasionally peek in, but only because Roo liked to hang out in there. But he averted his eyes from everything in there whenever he could; doing anything else seemed like a slippery slope straight to pervert.

Kibum came before and after work to take care of her, which also meant that he and Jinki got to go to and come back from work together, courtesy of Jonghyun's luxury car. Kibum had visions of never giving it back.

They arrived at Heartwood to find a postcard sitting on the reception counter, proudly advertising the serene, turquoise blue waters and soft, white sands of a Caribbean beach. Crowding together, Kibum and Jinki turned it over to read it. It was from Hyunmoo.

_Secretary Kim and Administrative Specialist (in training) Jinki,_ it said in thick blue ink, _this vacation is the best idea I've had in decades. If I had known how fun and relaxing it would be, I would have gotten someone to take my place at Heartwood years ago! Will be back soon, as promised. See you in a few days._

Kibum leaned away from the card, needing the space to process the news, which was not unexpected by any means, but still seemed out of nowhere somehow. There was a measure of relief that Hyunmoo would be returning soon as he'd said; Kibum liked the work he did, but the specter of CEO Jang and her ruinous connections kept hanging over his head, and having Hyunmoo back would mean, if not the problem completely solved, at least someone more experienced to help take care of it.

But along with the relief was also a sense of… Kibum couldn't quite pinpoint it, but it felt something like disappointment. Somehow he had gotten used to running the place, and not only that, but enjoyed it. Once Hyunmoo came back, Kibum would shift back to being the assistant, and Jinki wouldn't even have a reason to be there anymore.

Jinki seemed to be having the same thought, his brow furrowing, but he said with a shrug and a smile, "Oh well, I suppose it couldn't last forever. I've really liked it here, though. I guess I got used to it."

"Yeah, I've liked having you here, too," said Kibum, moroseness winning out over the relief. Had the postcard come a couple of months ago, Kibum would have welcomed it with open arms and confetti. But now, mixed feelings were the best he could conjure up.

"I can still visit, right?" said Jinki.

"Of course!" said Kibum at once. "I'll be mad if you don't."

It would be so strange without Jinki there. They hadn't known each other for very long and neither had they met under what Kibum would necessarily consider the best of circumstances, but thinking of his life without Jinki regularly in it… it didn't make any sense.

Jinki sat in his receptionist chair. "Well," he said cheerfully, turning his computer on. "Let's get started. You have lots of appointments today."

Taking his lead, Kibum said, "Okay," and went to his own office. He supposed there would be plenty of time later, when it came, to be sad about Jinki leaving.

The day passed with several appointments running back-to-back and other inquiries needing to be dealt with; like he'd told Taemin, work had gotten pretty busy recently, and before he knew it, the end of the day was at hand.

"Mm," Jinki intoned uncertainly while they packed up, "I may need to take a day or two off sometime next week?"

"Sure," said Kibum. "What for?"

"It's nothing to worry about," said Jinki, preemptively, "but they're going to be setting the date for my disciplinary trial in the central office."

Kibum stared and nearly dropped his bag. "What? _Disciplinary trial_?"

Jinki waved his hands hastily. "It's really nothing to worry about! That's just regular procedure for any mistakes we make. It's for the mix-up with you getting the Arrow, and…" His eyes widening at the offended look on Kibum's face, Jinki said, "Don't worry about me!"

"Why didn't you say anything about it before?"

"It wasn't set yet?" Jinki hazarded. "And I didn't want to worry you."

Kibum frowned hard at him. "That means there's something to worry about," he argued and frowned more. "This is absolute nonsense. A disciplinary trial for—? What can I do? Is there… is there…?" He remembered, dimly, that the denizens of the central office didn't exactly operate on terrestrial terms and that he probably wouldn't be able to attend. But he needed _someone_ to know that even if they didn't properly appreciate Jinki, he did. "Do you need a character witness? Can I write a strongly-worded letter on your behalf?"

Jinki's anxiety slowly resolved into a big smile as Kibum went on. "If you'd like."

"Will it help?"

Jinki nodded.

"Then why didn't you ask me to do it in the first place?" Kibum said, exasperated.

"I didn't want to be a bother…"

"Jinki-yah," Kibum demanded. "Are we friends?"

"Yes?" said Jinki.

"Then you can ask me for anything," said Kibum firmly. He paused, considering the implications of his statement, then added, "Except if it's illegal. But even then let's take it on a case-by-case basis."

"Okay," said Jinki with a sunny smile.

"Good," said Kibum. "Okay, I will write a letter for you. What else do you want?"

Jinki hesitated. "Chicken?" he asked hopefully.

"Done," said Kibum.

So they ended up with fried chicken and beer for dinner that they got delivered to Jonghyun's house, and Taemin magically turned up as well, as if he'd smelled it all the way from his studio.

"It is my superpower," Taemin said, coming inside and settling down at the dining table happily. He looked up into the far distance, hands in a heroic pose at his hips. "I can sense free food from miles away."

"I thought it was because I called you?" said Jinki.

"Don't ruin the mystique," said Taemin, opening one of the boxes and offering it around the table.

Neither Kibum nor Jinki mentioned anything about the disciplinary trial or Hyunmoo coming back. If anyone was to worry, let it be Kibum. Misery shared wasn't always misery halved; sometimes it just meant that everyone was miserable. Besides, nothing had been set in stone yet; Kibum was still holding out hope that when Hyunmoo came back, they might be able to create a new position for Jinki or find him something else to do that wouldn't require him going back to the central office permanently.

When the chicken was thoroughly demolished, they settled on the couches with the TV on and played with Roo. Taemin got up to go to the bathroom, but came back moments later, eyes wide and his expression awkward and slightly guilty.

"Okay, I _swear_ I wasn't snooping…" he said, palms up and out, "but I… found something that you might need to see?"

Kibum frowned at him. "What do you mean you found something?"

"I… I misremembered where the bathroom was," Taemin said, pointing to where he had gone. "I thought it was the next room over…" He cringed a little at his own gaffe.

"Oh," said Jinki. "That's the room Jonghyun uses as his art studio."

Taemin nodded. "Have you gone in there recently?"

Jinki shook his head. "I don't really go in there. I mean, I don't think Jonghyun would mind since he keeps that room open most of the time, but I don't have a reason to."   

"Kibum-hyung, you should… maybe come and see this," Taemin said.

The way Taemin was acting, the curiosity that brewed inside Kibum was unfortunately mixed in with tiny stabs of fear, like Taemin was going to show him Jonghyun's grotesque trophy collection of people he had serial killed. Jars of eyeballs, perhaps, or bags of human hair.

"What is it?" Kibum said, impatience lacing his words to hopefully cover up his trepidation. He shook himself of the preposterous images in his mind, and got up and followed Taemin to the room, with Jinki trailing along behind.

Though Kibum was gratified to see absolutely no traces of a murderous mastermind as he was led into the art studio, the feeling lasted only half a second before it was drowned by a flood of other emotions he couldn't put a name to. Staggered might be a good start.

"It's this," Taemin said, though he really needn't have.

Plain for all to see, the painting sat on an easel in the middle of the room, unfinished, though there were enough of Jonghyun's bright, confident brushstrokes to tell exactly what it was supposed to be.

"It's me," Kibum breathed.

On the canvas in front of them was Kibum in profile. Jonghyun had taken liberties with the colors, concentrating mainly on a theme of blues and greens, with occasional warmer colors streaked in. There were incomplete patches that Jonghyun would obviously continue to work on, but there was no denying who the subject of the painting was.

"This…" Kibum said, but didn't know how to finish the sentence. He tried to fill in the blanks with reasons why Jonghyun would have been doing this – a long project, maybe, where he painted _all_ his friends, and Kibum just happened to be the first one in the series. Or, Jonghyun just painted whatever happened to be in his vicinity; after all, he had landscapes and still-lifes in his repertoire. It wasn't like Kibum could definitively say he ranked anywhere above a bowl of fruit in terms of subject matter.

In the end, Taemin found a reason for him. "Hyung. I think… I think he's in love with you."

"Don't say that," Kibum said in a low, warning voice. The last thing he needed was for his hope to be rekindled only to have to forcibly, violently snuff it out again.

"You don't see a painting of Han Eungyu in here, do you? It's you," Taemin pressed, heedless of Kibum's premonitory expression. Emboldened by his own logic, he nosed around the room, rifling through a few other canvases that were leaning against the wall. With a huff of vindication, he showed them one of the paintings. "So is this one."

Though Kibum couldn't deny that either – it was definitely the face he saw in the mirror every day, rendered beautifully in acrylics – he said, "Get out, get out, we shouldn't even be in here. He kept the door closed for a reason."

Pushing Taemin out and with Jinki trotting ahead of both of them, Kibum returned to the living room, his head a jumble of thoughts that he couldn't untangle. He dropped onto the sofa.

"It's just a picture. It doesn't mean anything," Kibum said. His tone was firm, though who he was trying to convince more – himself or the others – he wasn't sure.

"Of course it does," said Taemin. Exasperated, he turned to Jinki. "Jinki-hyung, what do you think? You think I'm right, right?"

Jinki looked at Kibum for a moment, wavering, then picked his side. "I don't know what to think," he said.

Taemin groaned loudly, abandoning Jinki and his non-opinion. "It's right in front of you. It's— Your own face is literally staring you in the face," he said to Kibum. "He still has feelings for you. Why else would he do it?"

"There could be a million other reasons," Kibum said. He wasn't going to let one painting – okay, two – sway him this easily. A logical explanation was at hand; it just wasn't currently at _his_ hand, but that didn't mean it didn't exist.

"Maybe you should ask him," Jinki suggested. "I don't think us sitting here and arguing about it is going to get us any closer to the answer."

Kibum aimed a harmless kick at Taemin. "Idiot. Why did you have to go in there?"

Shying away from it, Taemin said, "I didn't do it on purpose!" He moved out of kicking range and said, "Ask him."

" _You_ ask him," Kibum threw back.

"It's not _my_ face he painted," Taemin said.

A miffed silence brewed between them, with Jinki looking back and forth at them but not knowing quite what to say to defuse the situation. As much as Kibum knew, rationally, that Taemin wasn't at fault, he couldn't help but direct his irritation Taemin's way anyway; if it wasn't for him, Kibum wouldn't even know those paintings existed and he wouldn't have to agonize over what it all meant, if it even meant anything at all.

Though Kibum and Taemin could have kept up the cold shouldering for at least another day, a key turning in the front lock broke the silence, and they glanced at each other, startled out of their mutual annoyance.

"Hello," Jonghyun called out from the doorway. "I'm back."

They hadn't been expecting him for at least another few hours, and all three of them shot up from their seats.

Jonghyun came into view, a tired look on his face that brightened into a smile on seeing them gathered in his living room. "Oh, you're all here," he said, kneeling to pet Roo, who had come skittering out to greet him.

"You're early," Kibum said, hoping it didn't sound to Jonghyun as accusatory as it did to his own ears.

Nodding, Jonghyun said, "I managed to get an earlier flight."

Grabbing Jinki by the arm, Taemin yanked him along and said to Jonghyun, "Welcome back! Jinki-hyung and I are going for a walk. Also, Kibum-hyung has a question to ask you. Bye! Get some rest!"

Kibum watched them flee in disbelief. "Cowards!" he yelled after them.

With an amused smile, Jonghyun said, "Why? Did you guys break something?"

"No," said Kibum. He took a deep breath. As much as he would have loved to escape as well, he supposed it was for the best that he should be forced to face this. He could get it out in the open right away and not have to plague himself with endless questions for the foreseeable future. "Well, first, I have to apologize on Taemin's behalf. He said he forgot where the bathroom was and accidentally walked into your art studio."

Unperturbed, Jonghyun said, "Oh, that's okay. I usually—" Abruptly, he cut himself off as realization dawned. He blinked a couple of times, looking anywhere except at Kibum, then managed to eke out a small, embarrassed, "Oh."

"It looks really good," said Kibum. "I mean, you've made me look much better than I actually do…"

Jonghyun met his eyes. "I just paint what I see."

Kibum nodded, unsure where to take the conversation.

"Are you," Jonghyun said, "going to ask me why?" Something flickered in his face, some strange mix of fear and hope, like he wanted both to be asked and to run away at the same time.

"Should I?" said Kibum.

"Mm," Jonghyun said, nodding.

"Okay," said Kibum. "Why?"

Jonghyun inhaled deeply, as if steeling himself, but let it out again quickly in a rushed, shuddery breath. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out for a moment. "It's for your birthday," he said at length.

If it seemed like a bad lie, Kibum didn't let on. "I see." He possibly had an extra hand to play with the second painting, though it would be admitting that Taemin, and by extension Kibum himself, had done more than accidentally walk into the wrong room. Still, if not now, then when? "Both of them?"

There were people who could keep their composure under interrogation, and then there was Jonghyun. It was almost laughable the way Kibum could practically see the gears clicking wildly in his head.

"The other day you and Taemin were talking about wanting new art for your place," he said. "So I thought…" Jonghyun didn't finish, apparently hoping the statement would end itself.

It was simultaneously a disappointment and a relief that Jonghyun was taking this route. "Okay," Kibum said, helping him pedal back to both their comfort zones. "Well, I'm sorry we ruined the surprise. You'll have to get me something else now. If I can make a suggestion – something big and expensive. None of this heartfelt, handmade stuff."

"You'll get what you get," Jonghyun said with a grin that, under closer scrutiny, might have looked a tad unnatural.

Kibum returned the smile, and said, "Well, I guess I'll get going. Everything went fine while you were gone. Roo was great, no trouble at all. Jinki on the other hand…" He sort of laughed at his own joke, and without really waiting for a response, Kibum waved goodbye and made for the door.

"Kibum," said Jonghyun.

"Hm?" he said, bending down to slide his shoes on.

"I lied."

Kibum straightened up and turned to face him. "About what?"

"It's not for your birthday," said Jonghyun, coming towards the door. "I… haven't planned that far ahead."

"Then what?" Kibum prompted.

"It's for me," Jonghyun said simply. He looked at the floor as he spoke. "I'm leaving."

Though the possibility had occurred to Kibum before, hearing Jonghyun say it still made his stomach plummet, first to his feet, then off the nearest bridge. "Why?"

"I've suspected it was coming for a while," said Jonghyun, still not looking up, "with my father calling me in for meetings so many times… He wants me to take on more responsibility at Orbit, and this last trip, he made it clear what I need to do. So I'm closing Blue Night and moving back to Ulsan."

Kibum couldn't speak for a moment. He swallowed the knot that was swelling in his throat. "When?"

"I don't know yet. Soon."

Though Kibum nodded, it was a struggle to just accept the news without a fight. But it wasn't his fight to begin with. "Is that really what you want?"

Jonghyun looked up at him in confusion like nobody had ever asked him that before. "No," he said in a small voice. "But—"

"What do you want?" said Kibum.

"I…" said Jonghyun. "I can't…"  

Kibum didn't push the issue. Going against a father's wishes was fraught enough, and who was Kibum to demand it from Jonghyun? "Then… maybe as an early birthday present, paint me a self-portrait," he said, attempting a smile. "I'll hang it up in our living room and think of you every time I look at it."

It wasn't like Jonghyun was moving across the world. Ulsan was an hour away by plane. It wasn't as if they would never speak again. But already knowing Jinki would be on his way out soon, Jonghyun's imminent departure only compounded Kibum's woes. Everything was changing, and not for the better, for any of them.

In spite of his better judgment, Kibum felt his eyes prick with tears. "Ah, what's wrong with me?" he laughed. "It's not like anyone's dying."

"I don't want to go," said Jonghyun.

"Then… don't?" Kibum suggested with a breath of hopeless, joyless laughter.

Resolve filled Jonghyun's face. "Ask me why I did those paintings," he said.

"Are you going to lie to me again?"

Jonghyun shook his head no.

"Why," Kibum said carefully, "did you make those paintings?"

This time, Jonghyun's answer came readily. "Because I still can't get over you," he admitted, looking Kibum straight in the eye and so openly it nearly sliced Kibum's heart in two. "I know it's been months, and I've tried and tried to stop, but I can't. I thought it would be okay being friends, that somehow getting used to having you around would make it easier to manage; I don't know why I thought… Now that I know you so much better, it's only made it worse. I hate when I have to miss a Thursday morning at Blue Night, and I video call you because it gives me an excuse to see you, even if it's just for a few minutes…" He trailed off, suddenly abashed at saying so much all at once. "I'm sorry if this is a burden for you. I only—"

"Jonghyun," Kibum cut in, galled that he would think of himself as a burden in any way. "Do you think _I_ got over you? I've been in love with you since you named my stupid drink after me. I haven't stopped being in love with you, not for a second."

It should have been a relief. There should have been the romantic strains of a violin in the background and fireworks to punctuate their confessions. Cherry blossoms should rain down at their feet. But just as their feelings hadn't changed, neither had their circumstances. What had kept them apart in the first place still stood strong. In fact, one of those things was now attempting to push them apart even more and relocating Jonghyun to another city altogether.

Kibum said as much, and Jonghyun could only nod.

"Where does that leave us?" Kibum asked.

"I don't know," said Jonghyun.

Kibum scrubbed a hand over his face and suppressed a cry of frustration. What they hadn't said was that they were only having this talk because Jonghyun was leaving. That because nothing around them was changing, they would have to be the ones to change. That they were one step closer, now that they had both admitted being friends didn't mean their feelings abated, to cutting ties for their own sanity if there was ever to be a hope of getting over each other.

Which was exactly what Kibum explained to Taemin later, when he got home and was badgered for information, and felt as if he'd explained it in both a calm and grown-up manner, as befitting a calm grown-up like himself. Sometimes things couldn't be helped. Sometimes you had to let people go. Sometimes you had to lose.

"Are you crazy? Have you actually lost your entire mind?" said Taemin. "How can you have left it at that?"

"What else can we do?" said Kibum, still maintaining his calm. He had a feeling it would shatter at some point and he'd end up weeping hysterically in the bathtub for an hour or two, but for now, he felt perfectly composed. "It's been like this from the beginning. This doesn't change anything for us."

Taemin stared at him in open-mouthed vexation, unable to speak for a minute. "Of course it does. All this time you've been thinking that because you shot him and Han Eungyu that you had to suffer with your one-sided love. But he actually loves you back! Why aren't you happier about this?"

"Because, if you think about it," Kibum said patiently, "nothing is really that different. It kind of makes it worse, actually."

Taemin threw up his hands and emitted a strangled noise. "I didn't work this hard just for you to—" Another tortured cry burst forth. "You're both impossible! What is wrong with you?"

Sensing that more rational arguments were not going to get Taemin on his side, Kibum only shrugged.  

His phone pinged with a text. _I'm outside_.

"Jonghyun says he's outside," said Kibum, nonplussed.

"Good," Taemin thundered savagely and stomped over to open the door. "Maybe this means at least one of you has a shred of sense."

He opened the door and waved Jonghyun inside, slicing an impatient hand through the air, and Jonghyun stepped in awkwardly.

"I'm going to my room," Taemin announced, glaring at them both. "You'd better work this out. Both of you are unbelievable." Having said his piece, he stamped away with disgruntled footsteps.

Kibum got to his feet, nervous hands sweeping invisible lint off his pants. "Hi," he said, not sure what to expect. "What are you doing here?"

"Jinki made me come," Jonghyun said, looking as though he didn't quite know why himself, but here he was. "He… He called me an idiot. _Jinki_. Called me an idiot."

"Oh, that's serious," Kibum said.

"Yeah, it is," Jonghyun agreed. He looked at Kibum helplessly. "But he's right. I am."

Kibum swallowed the mass of nerves that were beginning to reverberate inside him, and said, "Let's go to my room and talk. You never know if Taemin's going to flounce out again."

"Okay," Jonghyun said, and followed him in.

Once Kibum had closed the door behind him, he gestured for Jonghyun to sit at his desk chair while Kibum himself perched at the edge of the bed. The room felt a little too small, as if the walls were slowly and steadily closing in, as if the air would soon run out.

"So," said Kibum, when Jonghyun appeared disinclined to begin. "Jinki called you an idiot. That must sting."

"I didn't think he had it in him," said Jonghyun. He let out a shaky breath, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. "Kibum, I'm sorry I'm making such a mess of this. I just can't get it right, can I?"

"It's okay," Kibum said softly.

Jonghyun shook his head. "It isn't." His voice caught as he said it, and he breathed in deep, looking up to the ceiling as if for help, struggling. His eyes filled with tears and he pressed his lips together hard, as though that would staunch the flow. It didn't seem to help much, and Jonghyun choked out a sob. "It's not okay."

In an instant, Kibum was kneeling on the floor next to the chair and holding onto Jonghyun's hand. He stroked the back of it, not saying a word, letting Jonghyun have his cry for as long as he needed. It seemed like it had been a long time coming. Reaching up, Kibum gently wiped a few tears from Jonghyun's cheek.

"You see?" Jonghyun said, his voice quavering when he finally wrested control of it back. "Even when I get like this, you're still…"

Kibum let out a soft laugh. "What, you think I'm going to stop liking you because you cry a lot?" he said. He patted Jonghyun's hand. "Don't be silly. I bet I cry more than you."

In spite of himself, Jonghyun managed to give him an incredulous look, gesturing between them both and clearly winning the _Who Cries More_ sweepstakes.

"That's just right now," said Kibum, getting to his feet to reach for a box of tissues at the back of the desk while still holding onto Jonghyun's hand. "But cumulatively…"

Jonghyun accepted the tissues and dabbed at his face, taking a few calming breaths before speaking again. He squeezed Kibum's hand and gazed at their linked fingers, not letting go. "Do you know how much I always wanted to do this?"

"Cry in my room?" said Kibum, though he knew full well what Jonghyun meant. "You could've done that any time. You're always welcome to. I recommend that corner."

As Kibum had hoped, Jonghyun smiled. He held on tighter. "I wanted to hold your hand and, and go for a walk in that park."

"Our park," said Kibum quietly. "And sit on our bench."

Jonghyun nodded, smiling a little more to know that Kibum knew exactly what he was talking about. "I wanted to go to the movies with you and be really nervous about it and wonder if it would be okay to put my arm around you."

"I would've really liked it," Kibum assured him.

"I wanted to buy you surprise presents and make soup for you when you're sick and take too many pictures together so all our friends get annoyed," Jonghyun continued wistfully, almost to himself. "I wanted to go to the shelter with you when you're finally able to have a dog of your own and spoil your dog, too. I wanted to take you to see my favorite paintings at the art museum and learn how to bake so I could make a cake for your birthday."  

Hearing all their lost chances laid out end to end in front of him, it was Kibum's turn now to get teary. 

Jonghyun stood and stepped close to him. "I wanted to be the one you come to when you're having a bad day. I wanted to be the one who can wipe away your tears." He did as he said, cupping Kibum's cheek and brushing a tear away with his thumb.

Kibum couldn't say a word, though a thousand of them rabbled a white noise in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of Jonghyun's palm on his cheek.  

Leaning his forehead against Kibum's, Jonghyun said, barely above a whisper, "I don't want to go."

"Don't," said Kibum.

And then Jonghyun's lips were pressed against his, soft and warm and slow. It seemed such a natural thing that Kibum forgot to be surprised, forgot all the reasons they shouldn't, forgot everything except the feeling of Jonghyun's arms around him and Jonghyun's mouth on his and the saccharine twist of longing inside his chest.

Kibum could feel himself shaking, holding back a ringing desperation he had kept fettered all this time. He had wanted and wanted and wanted, and now, he had it, if only just for this moment. Little by little, he opened himself up to it, let it out with each new second they got; he grazed his fingers through Jonghyun's hair, brushed his tongue inside his mouth, touched his fingertips to the skin at the small of Jonghyun's back.

The more he gave into it, the more he wanted, and Jonghyun was more than willing to give. Kibum spread his palms over Jonghyun's chest, the heartbeat underneath pulsing in time with his own. His hands closed into fists, bunching Jonghyun's shirt in them, and together they pulled the shirt off him.

Kibum flattened his hands again on Jonghyun's chest, feeling the warm skin there with a measure of fascination. That he'd get to touch Jonghyun like this had never been more than a wild figment of his imagination, but here he was, tracing with his fingertips each curve and plane of every muscle.

Jonghyun watched him explore through hooded eyes, his lips slightly parted, his breaths coming short and shallow. He leaned in to kiss Kibum, deep and slow, and his hands moved up to unbutton Kibum's shirt.

Tilting his hips forward, Kibum felt a rush of pleasure diffuse through his body as they met Jonghyun's. With a low groan, Jonghyun pushed forward until the back of Kibum's calves hit the bed.

They had always been careful, so careful, not to run past the edge of reason, to keep their boundaries safely in place. And as Jonghyun pressed him into the bed, it was clear that they were well beyond those boundaries now and careening to a point of no return. But if they were going to fall, at least they would fall together.

Kibum kissed him and kissed him and thought of nothing else but how their bodies moved together, how his skin burned wherever Jonghyun touched him. The rest of the world fell away; only Jonghyun remained and he was all that mattered.

 

***

 

Kibum awoke, naked, and with Jonghyun at his back, an arm draped around him. Reflexively, Kibum smiled and held on to his hand, grazing his thumb over Jonghyun's fingers. But in the next second, as he grew more awake, a deluge of doubts filled Kibum's mind, overflowing into dread.

What if Jonghyun woke up and decided it was all a mistake? Or maybe last night had been his way of saying goodbye, and that was it for them. What if they couldn't look each other in the face afterwards?

Shoving the thoughts aside, Kibum held on tighter, at least for as long as he would be given. He had a taste of what it was like now, to be with Jonghyun; how could he go back to what his life had been before?

He felt Jonghyun stirring behind him and froze, waiting to see what Jonghyun would do, anticipating the worst.

Jonghyun made a sleepy noise and curled in closer, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Kibum's neck. Involuntarily, Kibum let out a great sigh of relief, which alerted Jonghyun to his being awake as well.

Dragging the tip of his nose up Kibum's neck, Jonghyun murmured, "Did you sleep well?"

Kibum almost laughed, overcome with the fact that none of his fears had come true. In fact, it was the opposite of everything he'd dreaded. He wanted to bite down his smile, but it was too big to manage. "I did. Best sleep I've had in a long time," he said. "You?"

Jonghyun hummed his agreement. Gently, he bit Kibum's shoulder. "What time is it?"

Reaching for his phone, Kibum checked the time. It was a Saturday, so it didn't matter for him, but for Jonghyun, "Uh, you're going to be late for work."

A grumbling noise blew into his back. "You know, when I gave myself this schedule, that was when I didn't have any friends and had nothing better to do than work a sixty-hour week," said Jonghyun, reluctantly getting up. "This is your fault."

Kibum laughed, dragging a finger along Jonghyun's thigh as he got out of bed. "I'm not the one making you work insane hours. How is this my fault?"

"You're making me want to not to go work," Jonghyun said, even as he found and put on his underwear and jeans. He pouted. "I want to stay in bed with you all day. Blue Night will fall into ruins because of you. Even now I’m thinking, how can I make my assistant manager take on twenty more hours a week to accommodate this?"

"Well, when you're done with work, I'll still be here," said Kibum.

He didn't mention that Jonghyun had said only yesterday that he would be closing Blue Night soon. Maybe… things were different enough now that he wouldn't. Kibum squashed down the thought, willing himself not to think of any of that and concentrate on how happy he was in this moment.

Jonghyun smiled, momentarily shielded while he pulled his crumpled shirt on over his head. "Promise?"

"Yes," said Kibum with utmost seriousness. He stretched out a languid hand towards Jonghyun. "I will sit around all day lamenting your absence and fall into a desolate torpor awaiting your return."

Jonghyun slapped his cheek gently. "You'd better not."

Laughing, Kibum caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. "See you after work."

Leaning down, Jonghyun kissed him. He lingered for a moment, then said, "See you after work."

Kibum watched him as he left the room, falling back against his pillows with a smile on his face that he couldn't seem to get rid of. Eventually, he got up, too, and finding an assortment of clothing to minimally cover up with, he pattered to the bathroom. When he came out again, it was to the view of Taemin standing there, sipping a cup of coffee, and radiating so much smugness it could be classed as a nuclear hazard.

"What?" said Kibum, suspicious.

"I just saw Jonghyunie-hyung leave for work," he said.

"So?" said Kibum.

"From our house? Wearing the same clothes as yesterday?"

Kibum blinked at him. "And?"

"Say I was right."

Kibum rolled his eyes and pushed past him towards the kitchen to get his own coffee, not having any of Taemin's nonsense this early in the morning. Taemin followed him and stood behind him expectantly. "What?" Kibum demanded.

"You know what," said Taemin.

Kibum just shrugged and shook his head, like he didn't know what Taemin was talking about. He was pretty sure Taemin would crack first.

"Hyung, I was right. You can't deny it."

"Mm, yes, I can. See? I'm doing it right now," said Kibum, grinning.

"Admit I was right!"

Kibum lifted a hand to his ear and cocked his head. "Did you hear something?"

Taemin let out a wail of injustice and stamped both feet so rapidly it looked like his whole body was jiggling. "Hyuuung!" he said, drawing the word out to the ends of the earth. "Why are you being like this? You know I was right!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Kibum snickered. He gave in. "Yes, you were right. Are you happy now?"

"Yes. See? Was that so hard?" Taemin slid into a chair at the kitchen table and perched his chin in his hands. "So? What happened? Tell me everything. Especially the part where you both agreed _wow, that Taeminnie, what an insightful genius, we should have listened to him from the start and we will now listen to everything he says because he's so smart_."

"Because that definitely happened…" Kibum said. He hesitated before going on. "We talked. And then we fell asleep."

"I heard things. In the night," Taemin said, meaningfully.

"That was just your dirty imagination," said Kibum, taking the chair next to him.

"I'm not the dirty one! I've seen your porn. And I heard you," Taemin said, narrowing his eyes. "Our rooms are right next to each other. I'm scarred. Give me money for therapy."

Placing nothing in his outstretched hand but a sharp smack, Kibum scowled. "No, and I'm not telling you anything. You're too young for this talk."

"You don't have to worry about my delicate ears. You can tell me what happened, I'm not a little kid," Taemin wheedled.

"Fine, we had all the sex."

Taemin grinned. "Gross." He laughed as Kibum glowered at him. "So… what happens next? 

"I don't know," Kibum admitted.

As much as he wanted to spend, preferably, the rest of his life basking in this glow, they still had to talk about their next steps. Much of it hinged on what Jonghyun was willing or able to do with regard to his position at Orbit; whether any of his father's plans would carry on wasn't up to Kibum to decide.

He would, however, have to tell Jonghyun about CEO Jang. Up until this point, all Jonghyun knew was that Kibum's job might be at stake, but not specifically why, or that Heartwood itself could be ruined by her machinations.

"Stop looking like that," said Taemin, rapping the side of Kibum's head with his knuckles.

"Ow," said Kibum, slapping his hand away. "I don't look like anything."

"You look like you're already giving up."

"Just because that happened," Kibum said, gesturing in the direction of his bedroom, "doesn't mean everything is fixed. There's still a lot more we have to talk about."

"So? Talk about it and fix it," said Taemin, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. "You already gave up once and how happy did that make you? You were both tormenting yourselves thinking that was the only way, but you never tried anything else. So try now. Try it together and see."

"I guess," said Kibum, wondering if Taemin might have a point.

Taemin clicked his tongue in reprehension. "Remember when you said _we should listen to Taemin from now on_?"

"No, that never happened."

Ignoring this interruption, Taemin said, "You should take your own advice and listen to me. I'm wise beyond my years. Everybody says so."

Kibum considered this remark over a sip of coffee. "Who is this 'everybody' you speak of?" he asked suspiciously over the rim of his mug.

"Just people. Out in the world," said Taemin. "You don't know them."

"I don't think I want to, if you're their standard for wisdom."

Taemin huffed. "This is the thanks I get for solving all your problems?"  

"What do you want? A parade?"

"At the very least," Taemin sniffed.

 

***

 

Jonghyun turned up again after dinner with day-old cookies from Blue Night and a sweet smile as soon as he met Kibum's eye. He'd managed to squeeze in a shower and a change of clothes, his hair fluffy and unstyled from having let it air dry on the way, and Kibum had to lock his hands behind his back so as not to immediately touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked.

"I know you guys have a lot to talk about," said Taemin, crossing paths with Jonghyun at the door, "so I'm going out to see a movie with Minho and Jinki."

"Thanks, Taem," said Kibum, grateful for his consideration.

"And if you don't work it out satisfactorily, I will come back and spoil the ending of the movie for you," Taemin warned. "And all movies thereafter."

Kibum nodded as he pushed Taemin out. "I got it, I got it. Have fun."

He shut the door and turned to Jonghyun, who'd been watching the exchange with a curious smile.

"Well, where should we start?" Kibum asked, feeling at odds and ends. Despite a thoroughly pleasant morning in which Jonghyun had quashed all his fears of rejection, in the ensuing hours Kibum had had plenty of time to build them back up again.

"With this," said Jonghyun, stepping forward to kiss him lightly on the lips.

Kibum could have melted right into it, reassured once more, but kept his head. As much as he wanted a repeat of the night before, they did have important things to discuss and couldn't put it off forever. Jonghyun seemed to have the same idea in mind, not pushing for anything past a simple kiss.

Tugging Jonghyun by the hand to sit on the couch, Kibum said, "I suppose I should tell you about CEO Jang."

Jonghyun's eyebrows rose. "What about her?"

Careful to avoid any mention of the Arrow, Kibum relayed the terms of CEO Jang's threat – that she would out Jonghyun through her media contacts and blame it on Heartwood, effectively blackening both their reputations in one go, perhaps beyond repair.

"That's…" Jonghyun said, trying to find the right words. "That's worse than I thought it was. I thought it was your boss pressuring you and that you might be fired if the match didn't turn out well. Not that that isn't bad in itself, but… Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Kibum shook his head. "I didn't see the point. You already had your own problems to deal with. It wouldn't have made things any better."

"Still, you should have told me," Jonghyun said. "I mean, this is a woman who has no qualms dragging my personal life through the mud. She's been so nice to my face so far, but if I don't end up marrying her daughter… Will she still go through with it?"

Understanding his point, Kibum said, "You're right, it involved you; I should have said something." He paused. "Should I assume you're _not_ going to marry Han Eungyu?"

Jonghyun chuckled. "What do you think?"

"I don't know your life," said Kibum, one side of his mouth curling up.

Reaching for his hand, Jonghyun said, "Listen, I didn't make all those embarrassing confessions and cry my eyes out in front of you just to turn around and marry someone else. Anyway, she doesn't want to marry me either."

"Is she clinically insane? Is that why? That's the only reason I can think of for anyone to not want to marry you," Kibum said.

With a soft laugh, Jonghyun explained, "Turns out, she's in love with someone else, too. A penniless writer, in fact. It's really sweet, and, of course, her family is against it." 

Kibum had never given much thought to Han Eungyu beyond resenting her for getting to be with Jonghyun and simultaneously pitying her for having the family she did, and it was a mild surprise to realize she had a life all of her own. But knowing this now, "What were you going to do, then, if this hadn't happened?" Kibum pointed between himself and Jonghyun. "Would you have married her?"

Jonghyun shrugged. "We kind of talked about it, but never really came to a definite conclusion. Of course, it would have been good for business, but it would have been a marriage in name only." His face turned a little somber as he thought of what his future might have been. "But we also talked about pretending to date for maybe a year or two, and then having it fizzle out, so at least it would look like we'd tried."

Kibum wondered if she had had a similar arrangement with the gentleman who had, in CEO Jang's view, broken her heart and required CEO Jang to kick down Heartwood's doors in the name of vengeance.

"In any case, Eungyu said she would carry on with her writer regardless of what we decided, so we never really got anywhere with a decision," Jonghyun said.

"And you?"

Jonghyun blinked, not understanding the question. "Me?"

"She had someone to carry on with in secret. What were you going to do?"

"Waste away with my shriveled heart and fill my house with paintings of you," Jonghyun said. "Naturally. What else could I possibly do?"

Kibum laughed. "You could carry on with me in secret," he suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

Jonghyun shook his head, all seriousness. "You deserve to be more than a secret."

As simply as it was said, the weight of the sentiment made Kibum's heart lurch, and he leaned forward to kiss Jonghyun for it. For a few moments, they didn't say anything else, just let themselves enjoy the novelty of being in each other's arms.

At length, Kibum said, "So if you're not marrying Han Eungyu, CEO Jang might well go through with her revenge plot." He looked up at the ceiling. "I can't believe I just said the words _revenge plot_ seriously about my own life."

"That's the kind of extra entertainment you get when you date me," Jonghyun said.

Kibum smiled and squeezed his hand. "What if she _does_ go through with it?"

Jonghyun took a deep breath, thinking. "Let her."

"What?" Kibum blurted. He had not been expecting that. "But… Your father. And Orbit's shareholders and investors…?" He didn't know anything about them beyond the fact that scandals tended to make them run screaming in the opposite direction, and he was pretty sure CEO Jang could cook up a good scandal if she wanted. 

"Frankly, I think we'd be doing a disservice to our own company to work with such closeminded people," Jonghyun said. "If something as ordinary as who I like makes them want to back out, that's fine. We don't need them."

Though Jonghyun was already well aware, Kibum felt compelled to point out, "You don't own Orbit yet… You're not the one making those decisions, are you?"

"True," Jonghyun admitted. "But that's also sort of a point in my favor, isn't it? I'm not the chairman. I'm not even in fully in charge of any departments right now. Who would really care what an associate director does?"

Probably quite a few people, Kibum thought, especially if said associate director was as photogenic and charming as Jonghyun and set to inherit the entire conglomerate besides.

"If it's a scandal," said Jonghyun bracingly, "I think it's one Orbit can survive."

"What about your father?"

"That's… more complicated," said Jonghyun, frowning. "To be honest, I've been trying to avoid thinking about it."

Kibum nodded. "Understandable." Though he had only been in the presence of the senior Kim once and the chairman had been perfectly pleasant at that time, Kibum remembered seeing him with Jonghyun outside Heartwood, before any match had been made. He remembered the imperious look on Chairman Kim's face, the way he cowed Jonghyun into behaving on his terms. That wasn't a man Kibum would want to go up against in any circumstance, least of all as his son.

"I'll… I'll talk to him," Jonghyun said, sounding more confident than he looked. "See if I can't get him to change his mind."

Kibum didn't hold out much hope for it, but didn't say so. Neither did he ask what would happen if Jonghyun's father refused to give way. He wouldn't blame Jonghyun for folding, if that was the case. It was his father, after all.

"You know, as much as I love Blue Night, I thought that maybe closing shop and moving away might be the best thing for me," Jonghyun said. "Seeing you so often hurt sometimes, but not seeing you hurt, too. I didn't know what to do."

"I know what you mean," Kibum said.

"But now it doesn't have to hurt anymore," Jonghyun said with a half-smile, pulling Kibum closer. "Now I get to tell you how happy I am to be with you and how I want to be with you every day."

Kibum kissed him softly. "You'll get sick of me." 

Jonghyun shook his head. "Never."


	12. Chapter 12

Kibum sat at his desk, idly scribbling on a piece of paper to distract himself from the fact that he was the only one in the office. On the wall, a clock ticked away at an oppressive volume, amplified in the silence. Kibum stared out at the empty reception desk and hoped for the best.

Jinki was away at his disciplinary trial, armed with his usual cheery disposition and a letter of support full of superlatives from Kibum, but not much else. On top of that, Jonghyun had gotten on a flight this morning to Ulsan, this one booked himself and on his own terms, to meet with his father and talk about what he wanted for his future.

Pacing up and down the length of the office hadn't done much but wear a shallow groove into the floor that Hyunmoo probably wouldn't appreciate on return, and Kibum had already checked his phone for updates from either Jinki or Jonghyun about a thousand times since getting in. It remained resolutely free of any notifications whatsoever, and Kibum paced on the other side of the office to make a matching furrow.

At noon, Minho turned up, unannounced, with convenience store gimbap.

He nodded a greeting at Kibum and wordlessly made himself comfortable in Kibum's office, putting his feet up on the desk. Hyunmoo wouldn't appreciate that either, but he didn't have to know. Peeling off the plastic wrapping from both servings of gimbap, Minho gave one to Kibum and a pair of disposable chopsticks.

"I'm too nervous. I can't eat," said Kibum.

"I didn't come all the way here for you to throw that away," said Minho, his cheeks already stuffed with gimbap. "Eat."

Kibum shook his head.

"Do you want me to make airplane noises?" Minho said.

Kibum tittered at the thought. "Yes, that would help."

Shrugging, Minho got up and picked up one of the gimbap pieces from Kibum's Styrofoam tray. He cleared his throat, then went full fighter jet, including taking a detour to shoot down an enemy paperweight on the desk, before popping the food in Kibum's mouth. "There," said Minho, patting Kibum's head, and sat down again.

Laughing as he chewed, Kibum realized he actually was hungry after all and had only been too distracted by his anxiety to know it. He ate the rest of his lunch without Minho having to handfeed it to him, and said, when he'd finished, "Thanks."

Minho sighed, in a little too overwrought of a manner in Kibum's opinion, and said, "You always do this. Worrying takes energy, too, you know. You have to keep your energy up if you want to worry your best."

"You're not going to tell me to stop worrying?" Kibum said with a raised eyebrow.

"Since when do you do what I tell you?"

"Almost never," Kibum agreed.

Minho twisted open a bottle of water and gave it to Kibum, and added, "You've done everything you can for now."

"What if it's not enough?" said Kibum.

"Then you regroup and come up with another plan," Minho replied.

"How come you and Taemin think it's so easy to solve my problems?"

"I didn't say it was easy," Minho said, wagging a finger. "I'm saying if it's worth it, you try. You try and try until the end. Do you think when Man City was a man down and losing 3-0 to the Spurs at half-time that they just lay down and forfeited the game?"

"Oh no," Kibum muttered. He had not signed up for Football Analogies with Choi Minho today. He sighed. "Is this the game you went to a few weeks ago?"

Minho glared, bitter with the knowledge that none of his friends took an interest in his life's obsession. "No, this was in England and happened in 2004."

"Then why are you talking about it now?"

"Because," Minho said hotly, "it was one of the most glorious comebacks of all time! They could have easily given up with that big a score deficit, but they didn't! They saw it through to the very end and won the game!" He stopped for a moment, slightly off-kilter. "Why am I talking about this? Oh, right. Think of this as your chance for a comeback."

"Okay," said Kibum, unconvinced and still not sure why Minho had such crystal clarity on a single match that took place over a decade ago and on a different continent when he sometimes couldn't even remember friends' birthdays.

"You know I'm right," said Minho.

Kibum rolled his eyes. "You and Taemin should start a club."

"We did," said Minho, getting to his feet and thoughtfully putting both their empty food containers in the trash. "It's called the _We're Doing This for Kibum's Own Good Even Though He Doesn't Ever Listen Club: A Support Group for People Who Are Cooler and Smarter than Kibum_."

"Are you sure you want to go with that? It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue," said Kibum. "I think it's going to be hard to recruit new members."

"We also considered _Kibum is an Idiot_ ," said Minho.

"Well, that's just factually incorrect," said Kibum.

They agreed to disagree, and Minho gave Kibum a quick hug and recommended looking up video clips of the Man City-Spurs game before taking off, which Kibum did not do. Instead, he checked the clock again, gratified to see that at least with Minho's visit, a good chunk of time had passed without Kibum gnawing his nails down to the bone.

But surely _something_ had happened by now, either in Ulsan or in the central office. The persistent silence from his phone made him even more nervous than he had started out the day with.

Unable to stand it anymore, despite earlier avowals to himself not to bother anyone until they had actual news to come back with, Kibum texted Jonghyun: _How did it go?_

It took half an hour for Jonghyun to reply, and it was with just one word: _Badly_.

Kibum's heart sank.

_Tell you more when I get back. Getting the next flight out_ , Jonghyun added. _Can I come over to your place later?_

Kibum assured him that it was more than fine, and slumped in his chair, wondering what had happened. His mind darted wildly from possibility to possibility, each subsequent scenario more catastrophic than the last.

In the end, Kibum got Jonghyun's flight information, cancelled his afternoon appointment, closed Heartwood early, and told Jonghyun to meet him as soon as he got in – it wasn't as if he could get any semblance of work done with this tearing at the back of his mind. He went home and waited for Jonghyun to arrive, unable to stay still in one spot for more than thirty seconds at a time and pacing like a caged animal for the rest of it. 

When the doorbell sounded, Kibum flung the door open, dismayed to see Jonghyun's red-rimmed eyes and clenched jaw. It didn't take a genius to see that Jonghyun was barely keeping it together. Kibum had never experienced Jonghyun being truly angry before, but he suspected he was witnessing the aftereffects. He quickly ushered Jonghyun inside and wrapped his arms around him, holding on tight until Jonghyun's trembling subsided.

"He wouldn't listen," Jonghyun said into Kibum's shoulder.

Kibum rubbed his hands up and down Jonghyun's back, then gently led him to the couch and sat him down. "Tell me what happened."

Jonghyun let out a sigh. "I don't know where to start. It was a disaster from the beginning," he said, rubbing a hand over his face. "I told him I wanted to stay in Seoul, that I didn't want to give up Blue Night and, and everything else I have here. And I even offered a compromise – if he really wanted me to stay at Orbit, I could work remotely, I could fly in once or twice a week, I could find a way to make it work."

"What did he say?" Kibum asked, though he was pretty sure he wouldn't like the answer.

"He said I was being stupid. And selfish," Jonghyun said. "That my grandfather had sacrificed so much to get Orbit off the ground, that _he_ had sacrificed so much to keep it going when he took over, and that I would be a disgrace to the family name for throwing generations of hard work away for a pipe dream."

Though Kibum knew Blue Night was a thriving business in itself, saying so out loud would be preaching to the choir, so he didn't.    

"Do you know he threw away all my art supplies when I was in high school?" Jonghyun said out of the blue, as if the memory had only just popped up. "I got home one day after school and everything was gone."

"No…" Kibum murmured, aggrieved on his behalf. "Why?"

"I wasn't top of the class. It didn't reflect well on him. He thought I was wasting my time with art when I should have been studying instead." Jonghyun looked down at his hands and shook his head. "Nothing much has changed since then. He still thinks I'm a disappointment."

"Did you… say anything back to him?" Kibum asked hesitantly.

Jonghyun flicked a glance up at him. "I told him about you."

Given what he knew about Chairman Kim's disposition, Kibum might have preferred if he was never alerted to Kibum's existence, but he only nodded for Jonghyun to continue.

Jonghyun's face turned dark at the recollection. "Do you know what he did? He laughed. I told him I was in love, I told him I was happy, for once in my life. And he laughed." Though his voice was bitter, the hurt in his expression was more than apparent.

His heart tightening at the look on Jonghyun's face, Kibum changed his mind. He would be more than happy to announce his existence to Jonghyun's father by slashing his tires and introducing a baseball bat to his kneecaps. "That's horrible," he said. "I'm sorry you had to face that alone."

"That's not all," said Jonghyun with a caustic chuckle. "He… I don't want to repeat what he said about you. Or us. But he said that if I didn't come back to my senses, then I shouldn't come home at all. Ever again."

It was bad enough with Jonghyun's father dangling disownment over his head again, but what made it worse was the way Jonghyun said it. Like he was resigned to it.

Desperate to say anything remotely helpful and coming up empty, Kibum said, "He was angry. I'm sure he wouldn't really—"

"I did it first," Jonghyun cut in.

"What?"

"I resigned from Orbit and I left, and I won't speak to him again. If he disinherits me, so be it," said Jonghyun. His jaw tightened as he swallowed hard, belying the determination in his words.

"You can't… You disowned your own father…?" Kibum said, aghast. Not that the chairman didn't have it coming, truly, but such a decision could never be made lightly, and he feared that the heat of the moment might have made Jonghyun do something he would forever regret.

"Kibum, I gave you up once for him. I won't do it again. Anything else I might have been able to, even Blue Night, but not you."

Warring factions of emotions clashed together in Kibum's chest at Jonghyun's words, neither gaining the upper hand. He was both fiercely proud of Jonghyun standing his ground and at the same time horrified that he was the reason for Jonghyun severing ties with his family. 

"Are you sure…?" Kibum said.

Jonghyun nodded firmly, though there was a sheen of trepidation in his eyes. "If it's you or him, the choice is easy."

Kibum shifted forward and enveloped Jonghyun in a hug. "I'm sorry it came to that."

"Me too," said Jonghyun, resting his cheek in the curve of Kibum's neck, and Kibum felt the wetness of a tear on his skin. 

 

***

 

Kibum sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea, long gone cold, staring at nothing. He replayed in his mind over and over again everything Jonghyun had said to him and relived the tumult of emotions throughout. The resentment at Jonghyun's father, the gratification of Jonghyun taking control of his own future, the apprehension at Jonghyun's final decision.

Though Jonghyun had phrased it differently, it was, when it boiled down to it, Kibum's fault for coming between father and son. It wasn't that he couldn't live with the thought, exactly, but what if Jonghyun came to regret it later?

The front door opened, and Taemin traipsed in.

"Oh! Hyung, you're back early?" he said.

Kibum put a finger to his lips, and said, "Jonghyun's taking a nap in my room."

"He's back? What happened? How did it go?" Taemin whispered. At the look on Kibum's face, he added, "Oh no. This looks bad."

"It is," said Kibum.

He relayed everything that Jonghyun had told him about the conversation between him and his father, Taemin's eyes growing ever wider with each successive piece of information.

"Wow," Taemin breathed, when Kibum had finished. "That's… serious. He's really just… cutting his father out?"

Kibum nodded. "And it's because of me. I can't… I mean, it feels…"

"Good?" Taemin said hopefully while looking hopeless.

"No," said Kibum. "I mean, in a way, that I'm that important to him, but it makes me feel really guilty, too. His father doesn't sound pleasant in any way, but I feel bad for being the reason it happened. And it seems so drastic a move, you know? I just don't want him to look back on it later and wish he hadn't done it."

Worry creased Taemin's brow. "Do you think he would blame you, then?"

Kibum shook his head. "No, but I probably would, if he comes to regret it." He blew out a cross between a groan and a sigh. "Listen to me, I'm making this all about myself when he's the one who's gone through the ordeal. I'm _really_ not worth breaking up a family over." He groaned again and put his head in his hands. "I just don't know why he would have done something so extreme like this without thinking."

Silence emanated from Taemin for a beat too long.

"Hyung…" he said in a small, uneasy voice.

Kibum lifted his head to look at him. "What?"

"Hyung, I think I may have done something bad," said Taemin, disquiet painted in broad strokes all over his face. "I think this is my fault."

"What do you mean?"

Taemin swallowed his nerves before speaking. "I… I just wanted to help. You were so miserable, and I thought…" His hands fluttered all over the place uselessly. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact, and the rest of the story tumbled out. "I stole the Arrow and shot you and Jonghyun."

When he opened his eyes again experimentally, Kibum was still floundering for words.

"What?" Kibum managed at last. "When?"   

"Early last month?" Taemin hazarded warily. "It was when I got my raise, remember? We all went out to dinner, and then to Jonghyun-hyung's afterwards."

The night came back to Kibum piece by piece. He looked at Taemin with misgiving as a recollection that hadn't pinged his attention before suddenly seemed to have a glaring red light shining on it. "Is that why you kept trying to get Jinki out of the room?"

Taemin nodded wretchedly, wringing his hands. "It was when he and Minho-hyung went out to buy more drinks, and I pretended I had to go to the bathroom and shot you then. And… I hid the picture in a different folder on the phone so you wouldn't find it."

"How—?" Kibum started. "How did you even get a hold of the Arrow?"

"I pretended I left something in your room and took it from your bag," Taemin mumbled.

"This is—" He couldn't finish the sentence, didn't even know how. Kibum pushed back his chair and stood up, at a loss, too shocked to fully feel the fury that was beginning to bubble underneath.

Without another word, he walked out the door.

He didn't get very far, slumping against the wall in the corridor just outside their apartment. As Taemin's words settled in, Kibum felt a burst of anger and he pounded his fist against the wall. It should have hurt, as red as his knuckles were turning, but he barely felt it.  

None of it was real.

He had been so, unbelievably happy, too. In hindsight, perhaps he should have been suspicious of things going so well, but he'd been too distracted by Jonghyun's requited feelings to notice. Feelings that, Kibum now knew, had been created by forces he couldn't reasonably explain and were bigger than him, but were still not Jonghyun's actual feelings. It was just the Arrow.

Jonghyun didn't really love him.

It was all a mistake.

Frenzied arguments piped up from all corners of his mind – he shot other people with the Arrow on a daily basis and called it good; why would this be any different? _Because Jonghyun didn't really love him._ The people he shot didn't start out in love either, but he paired them because they were naturally compatible; why couldn't that be the case for him and Jonghyun, too? _Because Jonghyun didn't really love him_. Some of the people the Arrow shot went on to marry and live contented lives together, none of them ever knowing about the supernatural help; why couldn't he and Jonghyun follow suit? _Because Jonghyun didn't really love him._

For as many justifications he could make about the many and varied couples he had matched, somehow those same justifications fell right apart when it came to Jonghyun. Jonghyun hadn't come to Kibum with an application looking for love; he hadn't signed up for a match, least of all with Kibum. Their relationship was based on one simple, misguided act of deception.

And it was because of this that Jonghyun had just severed ties with his father and renounced his own inheritance rights.

Kibum picked himself up and went back inside.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Taemin shoot up from his seat at the kitchen table, and said, "This is getting reversed as soon as Jinki comes back."

"Hyung…"

Refusing to look Taemin's way, Kibum said in a low voice, barely able to keep his voice from shaking with anger, "I don't want to hear anything else from you right now."

Kibum entered his bedroom and shut the door quietly behind him. His heart, already fractured in a dozen different places, crumbled to dust as he watched the peaceful rise and fall of Jonghyun's chest while he slept. Kibum knelt next to the bed, afraid to touch him.

"I'm sorry," Kibum whispered. "I'll fix this."

He couldn't let Jonghyun just go on being under the Arrow's spell, making life-altering decisions left and right in service of feelings that weren't even really his to begin with. Besides, Kibum himself wouldn't be able to hold on to Jonghyun, knowing that whatever affection he got would be an illusion, fabricated by some mysterious ethereal influence.

Tentatively, Kibum reached for Jonghyun's hand, acutely aware that he might never get to do it again.

After this, maybe, _maybe_ Jonghyun could try to patch things up with his father and go back to Ulsan after all. It was the best Kibum could hope for, and probably the most acceptable outcome to meet his craven hopes.

He knew what it was like now to be in a relationship with Jonghyun; how could he go back to being just friends? It had hurt enough when he'd secretly harbored one-sided feelings for Jonghyun, but now, having had those feelings returned – even as a sham – Kibum couldn't see his way back to what they had been before.

The best thing would be for Jonghyun to go. At least then he wouldn't be at odds with his father, and Kibum would have a shred of a chance in hell of moving on.

Stroking the back of Jonghyun's hand, Kibum apologized again quietly, so quietly he was sure Jonghyun wouldn't hear him. "I won't have much chance to say this again," he murmured. "But being with you… it's been the world to me. Kim Jonghyun, I love you. I wish we had time for all those things you wanted to do."

Maybe in the next life or in an alternate universe, there would be a Kibum and Jonghyun who got their happy ending, but it definitely wasn't this one.

Jonghyun's eyes fluttered open, his brow furrowing as it took him a second to work out where he was. He relaxed again into the pillow as he saw Kibum next to the bed.

"Hi," Kibum said softly.

Jonghyun smiled at him, breaking his heart all over again.

"Feel any better?" Kibum asked.

"Mm," Jonghyun said, nodding. He slowly sat up and stretched, while Kibum worked to memorize every line of his body from the curve of his spine to the serpentine patterns of veins down his forearms. As the last remnants of sleep were released, Jonghyun looked over at Kibum and said, with sudden worry, "What happened to your hand?"

Kibum looked down at his bruised knuckles, having forgotten about it altogether. "Nothing," he said. "I just sort of tripped earlier and braced my fall weirdly. It looks worse than it is, I think. Doesn't even really hurt."

Gingerly picking up his hand to study the injury, Jonghyun frowned and said, "Are you going to get it checked out?"

Kibum's heart constricted at Jonghyun's simple solicitude. He filed away the gentle tone of Jonghyun's voice and the way his eyebrows knitted together, put them in a box for safekeeping. "No, it's really fine," he said, finding breath hard to come by.

As normal as he tried to make himself sound, something in his voice made Jonghyun glance up. "Are you okay? You look… Is something wrong?" Jonghyun asked.

Kibum shook his head. "No, I just…" He trailed off, wondering how long he could keep this up, pretending things were fine. Seeing an escape route, Kibum swung directly towards it. "A headache, that's all."

"Oh," said Jonghyun, his face full of concern. He stroked a hand down the side of Kibum's head. "Do you have any aspirin? Do you want me to get you some?"

"No, no, it's okay," Kibum said. "Just need to rest for a while. Why don't you head home and get something to eat? I'm sure Roo must be missing you, and Jinki isn't back yet."

"Oh, that's right. When does he come back from his training course?" Jonghyun asked.

"I don't remember… Either tomorrow or the day after, I think. He wasn't sure if he would stay for the whole course," Kibum said, compounding the lie about where Jinki had gone. He got to his feet and pulled Jonghyun along with him. "Go, go, you don't have to tend to me; it's really nothing serious."

Reluctant, Jonghyun said as they walked out of the bedroom and towards the front door, "Okay. But call me if you need anything."  

"I will," Kibum said, knowing he would never do such a thing again. But it was exactly that thought that made him put a hand on Jonghyun's arm to stop him from opening the door. "Wait, I…"

Guilt inundated him almost immediately, but this was his last chance, the last time. Sending up a silent apology to the universe, Kibum pulled Jonghyun in close and kissed him goodbye, pouring everything he had into it. When he moved back he could feel tears in his eyes.

"Hey," said Jonghyun softly, cupping his cheek. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Kibum nodded, the warmth of Jonghyun's hand too comforting for words. "It's really nothing," he insisted. "I just… I just love you. That's all."

The worry in Jonghyun's face resolved into fondness. "Me too. But that's no reason to cry."

Kibum forced a tiny laugh. "Don't tell me what to do."

Jonghyun grinned back at him. "Okay, okay." He squeezed Kibum's hand. "I'm going. See you tomorrow? We can have dinner together or something."

"Of course," Kibum said.

He clasped his hands behind his back to keep them from doing something reckless like making Jonghyun stay forever, and fixed a strained smile on his face as Jonghyun left. He forced himself not to watch Jonghyun walk down the corridor to the elevator, and shut the door, the click of it in its frame sounding with finality.

It was only now that Kibum noticed a note on the kitchen table, written in Taemin's hand.

_Went to stay with Minho-hyung for a few days. I'm really, really sorry, hyung._

Forgiveness would come, Kibum knew, but he wasn't ready for it yet. He set the note down and went back to his room. Kibum stood in the doorway, looking at the mussed bedclothes, the imagined imprint of Jonghyun's body in his bed. The whole room was already redolent of Jonghyun's presence, already a memory and one he would never have again.

Kibum tucked himself in a corner of the room, drawing his knees to his chest, and cried.

 

***

 

Kibum woke up with a hollow void where his heart should have been. The numbness was a blessing. He had cried and hurt so much the day before it was a mild surprise there was anything left of him to wake up at all.

Slogging through his morning routine on autopilot, Kibum ignored texts from Minho, savored but gave noncommittal and perfunctory replies to texts from Jonghyun asking if he was feeling better, and went in to work as usual, feeling like punishing himself. Everything else in his life had gone to pieces; why not see if he could continue the trend in his professional life, too?

Jinki's persistent absence was another one-two punch in the gut; Kibum felt both as if Jinki couldn't come back fast enough so he could put an end to the farce and that it would be okay if Jinki stayed away forever so he would have a reason never to let Jonghyun go. Thinking the latter made Kibum feel doubly wretched for wishing an endless disciplinary trial on Jinki for his own pointless delusions.

At midmorning, Kibum texted Minho back just to let him know he was still alive, but barely read any of Minho's messages. He was sure they contained comforting but sensible things that he wasn't ready to listen to just yet.

The day crawled on, and if Kibum had been hoping for a distraction, he got one by the afternoon, in the form of Hyunmoo.

"I'm back!" Hyunmoo called, sauntering into Heartwood, with paper shopping bags in his hands and clad in a tropical print shirt. He peered into the office. "Ah, Secretary Kim, there you are. Oh, you look very comfortable in my chair. No, no, don't get up, don't get up. I’m not staying."

Kibum got up anyway to greet him. "President Jun," he said, trying to muster up at least a smidgen of enthusiasm. "You're back. You look very rested."

"I should hope so!" said Hyunmoo. He looked around. "Where's the administrative specialist?"

"He had to go to a disciplinary trial," Kibum said.

Hyunmoo rolled his eyes. "For this?" he said, pointing at Kibum. When Kibum nodded, Hyunmoo said with mild exasperation, "I already told them it was just a simple mix-up."

"Will Jinki be okay?" Kibum asked.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," said Hyunmoo, after a moment's thought. "Those old bastards in the central office will use any excuse to call a tribunal. It's how they have fun. I'm sure it's more a formality than anything. My former administrative specialist, Jangwon, was called to so many of these when he was still working. A few slaps on the wrist here and there, but nothing too serious."

Kibum nodded. It wasn't a full weight off his chest, but at least it didn't seem as harrowing as it did before. He hoped Jinki was coming to the same or better conclusion, wherever he happened to be right now.

"How was the Caribbean?" Kibum asked politely.

Hyunmoo relaxed onto the leather sofa in the office and said, "Best place I've ever been to. Drinking coconuts every day on the beach – that's the way to live. I would have just stayed there if I hadn't promised you I was coming back. That was my mistake." He dug through one of the shopping bags he'd brought with him. "Got some gifts for you and Jinki…"

"Oh, you shouldn't have," said Kibum.

Out from the shopping bag came a straw hat, brightly decorated coasters, a pineapple bag, two gaudy beach towels, and a handful of assorted, mass-produced magnets. "You can decide between yourselves what stuff you want," said Hyunmoo. 

"Thank you," said Kibum, though he wasn't sure he wanted any of it. At the rate his life was going, giving up all his earthly possessions and joining a monastery seemed as reasonable an idea as any, and he was fairly certain monks had little use for pirate magnets. "That's very kind of you to think of us."

"How was everything here while I was gone? Looks like you held down the fort, no trouble," said Hyunmoo.

Kibum took in a deep breath. "Well," he said, "for the most part. There was just one client who was a bit… challenging."

Hyunmoo raised inquiring eyebrows. 

"You remember CEO Jang…?"

"Oh!" Hyunmoo said, startled. "What did she do? Ah, I was so excited to leave I forgot I had even scheduled her to come in until you just said so. But Secretary Kim, you're alive and in one piece, so you must have dealt with her well."

Saving the argument about what 'in one piece' meant for a different day, Kibum said, "I had to… She sort of threatened Heartwood…"

Hyunmoo's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Leaving out the part of the story where Kibum was in love with one of the applicants involved, he told Hyunmoo what CEO Jang had said to guarantee a long-term match for her daughter.

"She thinks she can bring Heartwood down?" Hyunmoo said with a snort. "The gall… If I've told her once, I've told her twenty times." He let out a noise of exasperation. "You know, she's not the only one with media contacts. And she's not the only one who has secrets to expose."

"You mean…?" Kibum said.

"You don't last as long in this business as I do without learning a few secrets yourself," Hyunmoo explained. "Those applications alone are goldmines of information. If she wants to take us down, let her try. It's mutually assured destruction, at the worst." He paused, thinking about what he'd just said, and frowned. "In hindsight, I probably should have prepared you better before leaving."

Realizing how much distress could have been avoided if Hyunmoo had done just that, Kibum managed only a small noise of acknowledgement. If he opened his mouth for more he was afraid _everything_ might come out, including but not limited to a long slew of curse words that only people who didn't want their jobs anymore used.

"But still, you seem to have done just fine without me," Hyunmoo said, looking more than a little impressed.

"I suppose I learned from just watching what you did," Kibum said, though internally he wondered if Hyunmoo had secretly been expecting to come back to total chaos and everything on fire and what exactly that said about his boss.

"Good! That bodes well," Hyunmoo said, but didn't expound on just what exactly it boded well for. He got up from the couch. "Well, I'll be off."

Kibum started. "What—? You're leaving? Will you be back tomorrow? Should I move out of your office?"

Hyunmoo regarded him with a glint in his eye. "We'll see." 

There was a mild commotion from the reception area, and Kibum darted out to see what had happened, Hyunmoo following slowly behind him. Jinki popped up from behind the desk, slightly disheveled and with a bewildered smile.

"I'm back! Sorry about the noise. I fell down," he said. "I forgot this chair was so… rolly." His eyes widened with surprise as he realized Kibum wasn't alone. "Oh, Hyunmoo!" Jinki's smile dimmed, probably with the thought dawning that if Hyunmoo was back, that meant he would have to leave soon. "Oh, you're back."

"President Jun is… leaving for the day," said Kibum. "He's not sure if he'll be in tomorrow."

With the partial reprieve, Jinki's brightness dialed back up. "Have a nice day!"

Hyunmoo nodded his farewell and walked off. "There are presents in the office," he called over his shoulder.

"Ooh," said Jinki, his eyes lighting up with interest. With a brief look towards Kibum for approval, he trotted to the office to pick through the loot and came out with the pineapple bag slung across his body. "I like this."

"It's yours," said Kibum. "How did the disciplinary trial go?"

"It took forever," Jinki griped. "And there was a lot of talking. But they really liked your letter. And in the end, they didn't even really decide anything. They just told me they would have to talk it over some more between themselves and they would let me know. Then they said I could go, so I did."

Eyebrows pulling together Kibum said, "I guess that's not the worst thing that could've happened. President Jun said his administrative specialist went through a lot of disciplinary trials, too, and they never amounted to very much. A slap on the wrist, he said."  

"Oh, does that mean I have a lot more of those to look forward to?" Jinki said, not particularly looking as if he relished the idea. "Nobody told me it would be like this…"

"When will you know what they've decided?" Kibum asked.

Jinki shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine," he said. "Oh, and they also finally got the paperwork through about you getting the Arrow. They're actually happy to keep you on as an archer since it's been going well, but that's up to you."

"Oh," said Kibum in surprise. Somehow he hadn't even thought to ask, assuming that since Hyunmoo was back, everything would return to the way it had been before.

Jinki gave him an encouraging smile, but didn't ask one way or the other what Kibum intended to do.

"Well, in any case, I’m glad you're back," Kibum said. He paused, pushing himself to bring up the issue with the Arrow. Instead, he said, "Are you sure you don't want any of the other stuff President Jun brought back?"

Kibum was stalling, and he knew it. But he figured he could let Jinki have a breather before revealing the Jonghyun news and having Jinki tear him a new one for it. He wasn't sure Jinki was capable of tearing anyone a new anything, but he had apparently called Jonghyun an idiot to his face once, so who knew what else he might do?  

"No, thank you. I'm happy with my bag. Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Jinki asked.

"Well, now that you ask…" Kibum said.

It took him a moment to build up the fortitude to start talking, not to mention have Jinki erase the picture that Taemin had taken. Once that took place, then everything would really be over, and his relationship with Jonghyun would never have happened at all. And Kibum would go the rest of his life knowing exactly what he'd lost.

Kibum turned his Arrow over to Jinki. "There's a mistake on here."

He had found the hidden photograph earlier in the Arrow program, buried by Taemin a couple of subfolders deep. He wasn't sure how Taemin had even figured out how to do it, but then he didn't know how long Taemin had commandeered control of the Arrow either, given that Kibum hadn't even noticed when it had been taken. These were questions for when he was back on speaking terms with Taemin.

The one petty pleasure he could take away from this was that, because Taemin had been the one to use the Arrow, he would remember it, too. And he would know with crystal clarity just what wrong he had perpetrated and why Kibum was going to be angry with him for the foreseeable future.

But even as Kibum thought it, guilt prodded at him for wanting his friend to suffer, too. Misery did love company, after all. And both of them would be miserable. They had been friends for so long, and right now, Kibum could scarcely stand to look him in the face.

Kibum fought the urge to sink to the floor in a curled-up ball. He was losing Jonghyun and blaming Taemin for it, and after today, he would barely have anything or anyone left. He had thought that life was unfair before, but life had gone beyond the pale. Life was atrocious and fickle and flat out the worst.

"Huh?" Jinki said as he looked at the picture in question. He squinted. "Is that you and Jonghyun at his house? It's the back of your heads."

"That's because Taemin did it. He took the Arrow without my permission and he shot us because he thought… I don't know what he thought. I suppose he thought he was helping us in some way," Kibum said, allowing his one concession for Taemin's intentions. "I had no idea that he did it. And… everything that happened after that…"

Kibum couldn't quite finish. He didn't even want to think about it, the slow, steady unfurling of their feelings for each other – the video calls, the paintings, the whipped cream, the night they had spent together. He would grow into old age carrying all those precious memories with him, and from time to time, he would sit with the reminiscences and savor their faded sweetness for as long as he could bear to, until his own bitterness crept in again to taint it all.

"I don't… understand," said Jinki.

"Taemin shot us," said Kibum. And if he sounded terse, it was only because he was wishing they could get this over with already so he could commence his lifetime of brutal nostalgia. "He stole the Arrow and he shot us. And I didn't know. I thought Jonghyun was actually in love with me. I thought it was all real. But… you have to fix it. Jonghyun didn't ask for this, and I can't let it go on."

Jinki pondered this for a moment, his expression unreadable. "I'm very disappointed," he said finally.

"I'm sorry," said Kibum, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I didn't think anything like this would happen."

"Not that," said Jinki, lobbing the Arrow back at him. "Neither of you read the rulebook like you said you did!"

"What?" Kibum said. He looked at the phone, the picture still intact. He looked up at Jinki again, disconcerted. "Aren't you going to erase this?"

What kind of lunatic administrative specialist was Jinki? He hadn't even gotten through one disciplinary trial successfully and he was already shirking his duties? Surely Jinki wasn't ignoring the mistake just for Kibum's sake; Jinki loved the rules.

"Why would I?" said Jinki. "It's just a regular picture."

"What are you talking about?"

From what appeared to be thin air, Jinki produced a copy of the rulebook and flipped it open to one of the pages near the back. He pointed to one of the sections. "See? Here it says that only the specific archer assigned to an Arrow can use it for its intended purpose." He frowned at Kibum. "Of course we accounted for things like the Arrow accidentally being misused or falling into the wrong hands. That's why it only works when you, the assigned archer, use it."

Kibum didn't dare let go of his heartache, though a glimmer of hope brimmed in the distance. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Taemin just took a picture. That's all," said Jinki. He snapped the rulebook shut and tapped Kibum's head affably with it. As Kibum stared at him, Jinki further clarified, "This Arrow doesn't work for anyone but you."  

"That means…" Kibum said, too afraid to finish the sentence.

"Jonghyun didn't need the Arrow's help," said Jinki. "He found his way to you all by himself. Whatever happened between the two of you, the Arrow had nothing to do with it."

Jinki's words took an eon to process, trickling through bit by bit until Kibum's doubts eroded. And even then, Kibum wasn't sure if he was hearing or understanding a hundred percent correctly. Jonghyun really was in love with him after all. Everything he'd said and did stemmed from his own genuine feelings.

"Can you…" Kibum tamped down a lump of burgeoning nerves and pushed the Arrow into Jinki's hands again. "Can you erase it anyway? Just so I can be sure. Please."

Though Jinki reiterated the lack of necessity since nothing had actually happened with the picture, he humored Kibum and took his Arrow. Holding it next to his own phone, Jinki executed some kind of file transfer and, after a bout of speedy, complicated typing, removed the picture from existence.

"Okay," said Jinki, with a smile. "All done."

Resisting giving voice to the _Are you sure?_ that sprang immediately to mind, Kibum accepted the proffered Arrow back.

"I did it just like I would have with any other error," Jinki assured him, as if he knew exactly what Kibum had thought. "The picture is gone. Even though it wasn't really a mistake, I fixed it like it was one, so don't worry, okay?"

 With feeling, Kibum said, "Thank you."

The relief that washed through came in a wave, and when it ebbed, Kibum still found himself with a lingering feeling of disquiet that he couldn't place.

It seemed near ludicrous, given that his problems had seemingly been obliterated in one fell swoop – Jonghyun had never been affected by the Arrow in the first place and CEO Jang's threat, even if still a little frightening to think of, held much less sway than before.

There was still the matter of the outcome of Jinki's disciplinary trial, but things were looking at least somewhat positive on that front. What, then, could be giving Kibum the feeling of unfinished business?

It nagged at him for the rest of the afternoon, insistent on taking up prime real estate in his mind. Hearing his phone chime with an incoming text message was a welcome distraction from trying to piece together his own confusion.

_Want to meet for dinner later?_ said Jonghyun's message.

A smile immediately bloomed on Kibum's face. The last time he had seen Jonghyun, he had privately marked it as a final farewell, but it didn't have to be anymore. He could meet Jonghyun for dinner tonight and for whatever else they wanted to do and whenever; he could hold his hand and kiss him good night; he could love Jonghyun as much and as ardently as he did and not have to hide any of it.

_Of course_ , Kibum typed. _Can't wait to see you._

He ran through a quick mental list of places to suggest for dinner, imagined telling Jonghyun about his day over drinks, about how Hyunmoo had suddenly turned up again with good intentions but junky souvenirs, and…

It wasn't exactly like getting hit with a bucket of cold water, but the overall effect was equally sobering. The only thing Kibum could tell Jonghyun about his day was just that, the pile of kitschy tourist tokens on the office couch. Everything else revolved around the Arrow or the Cupid business somehow, and Kibum had never been forthcoming about any of that. For good reason, he thought. But perhaps now there wasn't much of a good reason anymore.

The niggling feeling that had been bothering him for the last couple of hours intensified, and Kibum finally understood what it was.

If he wanted a truly fair shot at a relationship with Jonghyun and a clear conscience moving forward, he would have to tell Jonghyun everything.


	13. Chapter 13

Kibum would be the first to admit that it was a shoddy plan. But he had to do _something_ , and this was all he could come up with on short notice. And if it was to work, he needed Taemin. Kibum scrolled through the contacts list on his phone and pressed Taemin's number.

"Hyung?" said Taemin's voice over the line, small and wary.

"Taeminnie," said Kibum, in what he hoped was his warm but authoritative hyung voice that only sometimes worked, "I wanted to let you know that things actually turned out okay in the end. Jinki said there was nothing to fix. The Arrow didn't work when you used it."

There was a short pause. "Really?" said Taemin. Then, a little louder and more insistently, "Really?"

The release of tension in Taemin's voice was almost tangible. Although Kibum would cop to still being annoyed about Taemin going behind his back with the Arrow, a smile crept onto his face anyway at the sound of Taemin's relief.

"I'll tell you more about it later," Kibum said, "but right now I need you to help me with something."

"What do you need?" Taemin asked, already on board.

"Can you borrow Gongju and Mocha again?"

Which was why, later that evening, Jonghyun walked into Kibum's apartment to find him in possession of two mystery dogs, one sitting quietly and minding her own business, and the other menacing a squeaky toy within an inch of its life.

Jonghyun stared for a moment with his mouth agape, then said, "Did you go to the shelter without me?"

"No, I'm just borrowing them from the neighbors for a little while," said Kibum, clutching the Arrow in his hands, and his copy of the rulebook unearthed from the deep, dark abyss of the underside of his bed now relocated to the coffee table in the living room. "I wanted to tell you something. And show you something. Uh, why don't you hold on to Mocha before he chews through everything in here?"

The secondary effect, Kibum hoped, of Jonghyun holding a small, adorable dog in his arms was that it would keep him happy and calm, and his hands too full to slap Kibum in the face at the end of it all.

The latter outcome seemed unlikely, but Kibum had to account for all contingencies, including Jonghyun walking out on him. If their situations were reversed, Kibum wasn't sure how he would react in Jonghyun's shoes, but he knew this was, if not necessarily the most elegant way to go about it, the right thing to do.

"Come here, Mocha," said Jonghyun, lifting the little dog up and into his lap as he sat down on the couch. With that done, he looked at Kibum expectantly.   

Ever since deciding he was going to tell Jonghyun everything about Heartwood, Kibum had been practicing opening lines in his head. _I'm not who you think I am – So here's a funny story – I have this phone that's actually magic –_

"I haven't told you very much about my work," Kibum said instead. "Truthfully, I didn't know a lot about the ins and outs myself until recently, when I had to take over for my boss."

Little by little and starting from the day the Arrow had shown up by courier, it all came out. Jonghyun listened in perfect silence and with morbid fascination, and then watched with wide eyes the demonstration Kibum performed on the guest dogs.

"It'll wear off by tomorrow," Kibum said as they watched Gongju and Mocha snuggle up like they had done the first time. He chanced a glance towards Jonghyun, who hadn't seemed to blink for a full minute. "But it works differently on people. On people, it can last a lifetime, sometimes."

"You… You used that on me?" Jonghyun said.

Kibum nodded. "When CEO Jang told me what she would do if I didn't get you and Han Eungyu together…"

Jonghyun's brow creased, his mouth opening soundlessly with what were probably a thousand questions battling each other to get out first. "But I never… And Eungyu didn't…"

Guessing what he meant, Kibum said, "It only works if both parties are open to the idea. If she was already in love with her writer by then, then that's why it had no effect on either of you." He chose not to mention what Jonghyun's feelings might have been at the time; it seemed presumptuous to say, especially now.

With a prolonged frown, Jonghyun stared at him. "Did you… Did you use it again on me after that? With you and me?"

Though it stung to hear it and Jonghyun's doubt in him, it was a fair question. Kibum shook his head. "No. Never. I should tell you that Taemin tried without me knowing, but it didn't work."

The thousand questions that had been fighting to get through seemed to have worked things out between themselves and now came out in rapidfire order, and Kibum was compelled to explain every last scrap of information he knew – how the Arrow worked; Jinki's role in it all; the fallout from what Taemin had done, or thought he'd done. 

"This is a lot to take in," Jonghyun said finally.

The good news was that he didn't seem at all angry. Stunned might be a better word, so the good news was somewhat relative. There'd be plenty of time later, after the shock wore off, for anger to set in.

"I understand," Kibum said. "And if it's too much and you never want to see me again after this, I'd understand that, too."

"I didn't say that," Jonghyun said. He breathed in deep and let out the breath through his nose, contemplative. "If you say you never used it on us, I believe you. When did you say Taemin tried doing it?"

"That day he treated us to dinner because of his pay raise. At that Japanese place, do you remember?"

Jonghyun nodded as he cast his memory back, and a half-smile formed on his face. "It was already too late by then anyway. I was already in love with you at that point; I just couldn't do anything about it because of my father," he said. "Or at least I thought I couldn't do anything about it."

"Are you still…?" Kibum said, afraid of hearing the answer either way.

"My father has never concerned himself with my well-being or happiness, unless it affected him in some way," said Jonghyun with a quiet sigh. "Really, I'm better off without him."

"Even after everything I've told you about me? It's still worth it?"

"You were the catalyst," said Jonghyun, "but it honestly had been a long time coming. Moving to Seoul and setting up my own shop and getting my art off the ground – that was my way of rebelling. But I got scared. I was always scared of him. But once I realized that you felt the same way about me that I did about you, that helped me take that last step."

"It's a big step," said Kibum. "I just don't want you to come to regret it. Especially not because of me."

Jonghyun shook his head. "Even if you were to break up with me today, I wouldn't take it back." He glanced over to where the two dogs were playing with each other and didn't say anything else for a long moment, and when he looked up at Kibum again, he said, "Listen, this is a lot to process. Can I…? I need some time to think about everything you've told me. Is that okay?"

"Of course," said Kibum. "I'm sorry I couldn't have told you about it before."

Jonghyun left him with a warm, tight hug that suggested he was more likely to come back than not, but an abiding uncertainty still hung over Kibum long after.

Even as a voice in his head castigated him for doing this in the first place and risking losing Jonghyun, Kibum knew he couldn't have gone on for long without telling Jonghyun the whole truth. Omission wasn't quite the same as outright deception, but over time, who knew how many lies he might have to tell to keep it secret? Better this now than a lifetime of covering his tracks.

Kibum sat on the floor with the dogs. "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm sorry I had to do that to you again," he said, ruffling his fingers over their heads. As if sensing his mood, Gongju laid her head on his knee and let him bundle her up into a hug.

A message came in on his phone from Taemin. _How did it go?_

Kibum sighed to himself and typed, _I'm not sure_.

 

***

 

When Kibum reached work the next morning, Hyunmoo was already there, indiscriminately spraying water on the few plants that dotted their waiting area. He hadn't reverted to his usual tailored suits, still favoring a tropical theme from the neck down.

Behind the reception desk, Jinki met Kibum's eye and shrugged.

"Ah, Secretary Kim, you're here," said Hyunmoo, tossing the spray bottle onto one of the chairs. "Come, let's sit down and have a little discussion."

"Okay…" said Kibum.

Obediently, Kibum eased himself into one of the waiting area chairs, and Hyunmoo followed suit, laying a stack of files next to him.

"Let me cut to the chase," said Hyunmoo. "I've decided to retire."

"Oh," said Kibum. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jinki start in surprise. They shared another look, this time with the mutual understanding that they would now both be out of jobs. At least Jinki could eventually be assigned to another archer, but Kibum would have to look for something new altogether.

Hyunmoo picked up the files at his side and said, "You've always been a good assistant and did very well in my absence, especially considering that I didn't leave you with much instruction." He handed the files to Kibum. "So, consider this both an apology and my thanks. I'm signing over Heartwood to you."

Kibum nearly dropped the files. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"It's yours," said Hyunmoo, waving a careless hand. "I don't need it anymore. I've been in this business for too long. Besides, Jangwon and I started out together, and now that he's out of the game, it seems like the right time for me to go, too."

The overwhelmed feeling cresting over Kibum was not unfamiliar. It felt the same as when Hyunmoo had announced he was going on vacation and that Kibum would be in charge of everything henceforth. Panicky dry heaves were approaching at speed.

Staving them off as best he could, Kibum asked, "What are you going to do instead?"

"It's back to the Caribbean for me," said Hyunmoo. He looked around the office with a sentimental smile. "I made _a lot_ of money out of this place. Not much use in the central office, but here?" An enthusiastic light flashed in his eyes. "Humans really know how to live in luxury. So that's the plan."

"Oh," said Kibum, for lack of something better to say.

"Now, before I go, here's a word of advice. Don't go out drinking with clients. Or, if you must, don't let them drink you under the table. Leads to a lot of trouble sometimes," Hyunmoo said, his mouth twisting with slight irritation.

"CEO Jang?" Kibum guessed.

Hyunmoo nodded. "It's really best if you don't go around drunkenly telling clients about the Arrow," he said with a grimace. "Thankfully I only did it once, but of course it had to be to the one person who would milk it for all it's worth. Ah, that reminds me. In the red file there, you'll see what I have on the Jang Group. In case you ever need to use it."

Considering what Kibum knew about Han Eungyu's romantic situation, he had a feeling he might be using the file sooner rather than later.

_Wait_ , his brain piped up. Was he seriously going to take over Heartwood, just like that?

Despite having been thrown into the position without any advance warning or training, Kibum had, for the most part, enjoyed the work that he did in Hyunmoo's absence. He'd found it challenging work sometimes, but satisfying enough that he came back almost every day keen to do more of it.

But given what he had just gone through with Jonghyun, Kibum wasn't sure he could do it anymore. Not with the Arrow, at least. He could try to justify it to himself and turn himself sideways to make the arguments fit, but the bottom line was, when he thought it had been done to him, Kibum hadn't been okay with it. It had felt like coercion, almost. And regardless of what his clients came in for, Kibum didn't feel as if he could, in good conscience, do that to them.

"Thank you," said Kibum, giving the files back to Hyunmoo, "but I don't think I can take over the business."

Hyunmoo's eyebrows shot up. "Why not? You've been doing a good job with it."

"I just…" Kibum shot an apologetic glance at Jinki. "I don't feel right using the Arrow on the clients."

Hyunmoo pushed the files back into Kibum's hands. "I already filled out all the paperwork; don't make me have to redo it. The business is yours. Do with it whatever you want. If you want to turn around and sell it to the next guy you see on the street, fine. If you want to use the Arrow, use it. If you don't want to use the Arrow, don't. That's up to you."

Kibum blinked at him. "Really?" It had never occurred to him that he could do things any differently. But… "What would that mean for Jinki, then?"

"The central office will assign him to a different archer," Hyunmoo said, less concerned about it than Kibum thought he ought to be.

Jinki gave Kibum a small smile of acceptance. "Don't worry about me," he said.

"You know I do," said Kibum.

Jinki's cell phone rang just then, and his eyes widened as he looked at the caller display on the screen. "Oh, it's the central office."

While Jinki diffidently took the call and listened to whatever judgment was being meted to him, Hyunmoo took the opportunity to say to Kibum, "Everything you need for Heartwood is either in these files or in my office. Your office. You can call me, too, if you have questions."

"We couldn't reach you last time," said Kibum, not quite managing to keep the accusatory tone entirely out of his voice.

"Ah. I'll try to keep my phone on this time," Hyunmoo said. He clapped his hands together. "Well, I'll be off, then. Good luck!"

It was like watching the same scene play over again, with Hyunmoo swanning out and leaving everything in Kibum's hands. Except this time, _everything_ was in Kibum's hands.

And just like before, Kibum wordlessly watched Hyunmoo disappear out the doors and remained standing there even minutes after as reality slowly but surely sank in. To his surprise, while it still felt a little mind-boggling, it seemed doable, too.  

"Kibum?" said Jinki tentatively.

Kibum turned around. "What did they say?"

Jinki's expression didn't exactly radiate happiness, so good news was probably not on the horizon; in fact he seemed to be trying to mask how he really felt. "Oh, they decided to put me on probation," he said.

"What does that mean?" Kibum asked.

Slouching and looking down into his lap, Jinki said, "It means I won't get to take the 'in training' off my title as soon as I'd hoped, and I have to take a refresher course in my department, and when I get my next placement my supervisor will be observing and evaluating my performance regularly until—"

"That is appalling," Kibum broke in. For a mix-up in delivery that was difficult to pin down even partially as Jinki's fault, the terms of his probation seemed like overkill. "I mean, do you think that's what you deserve? And don't tell me what the central office would tell you to say, tell me what you really think."

"No…" Jinki admitted.

"I don't think so either," said Kibum. He let out a huff of frustration. "If you got to decide what happened, what would you do? What would you want?"

Jinki's gaze was blank for a moment, like he couldn't conceive of anything of the sort. At length, he said, slowly and carefully, "If I got to choose… I would stay working here with you at Heartwood and stay with Jonghyun and stay friends with everybody." A tiny chuckle came out. "I guess I like everything the way it is now."

"Even if I'm not an archer anymore?" Kibum said.

Shrugging, Jinki said, "I like working here. And you never gave me that much work as an administrative specialist anyway. I only had to fix that one picture and it wasn't even a real mistake to fix."

Perhaps it was his own wishful thinking, but what Kibum was hearing was that Jinki wasn't even that attached to his actual job as an administrative specialist. What he wanted was to stay in some – maybe _any_ – capacity.

"Jinki," said Kibum, recalling all of a sudden Jinki's input on how Blue Night was run. "Tell me if this sounds crazy."

"Not yet," said Jinki.

"I know this isn't exactly the same, and it might mean leaving the central office, but I definitely can't run Heartwood by myself. Do you… want to be my business partner?" Kibum asked.

Jinki's face lit up by about a thousand watts. "Really?"

Grinning, Kibum nodded. "You worked just as hard as I did running this place while President Jun was gone," he said. "Although… I don't know if there would be any issues with the central office if you were to stay?"

Jinki's face brightened further as some realization dawned on him. "I can resign," he breathed. "I can resign!" Excitedly, he took out his phone and called the central office, cheerfully asking Kibum to wait a moment while he took care of this business. "Hello! This is Jinki, administrative specialist in training. Yes. Yes. I'd like to turn in my resignation, please. Yes. I understand. Yes, thank you. Have a nice day!"

"That was it?" Kibum asked as Jinki hung up and put down the phone.

"They were very angry," Jinki reported, though by the smile and the pleasant tone of his voice no one would ever know it. He looked at the mobile phone on his desk, one he used for the work he did as an administrative specialist in training, and gently placed it in the trash.

"Okay, I guess that's official," said Kibum.

"This does mean I can't get you nice suits anymore," Jinki said regretfully. "Ah, why didn't I think of getting you more things before I quit?"

Kibum laughed. "I think it'll be okay."

They looked over the stacks of papers that Hyunmoo had left behind, including a letter they could send out to their clients explaining the transition, as well as a comprehensive list of steps Kibum should take for full ownership – registration, opening various accounts, keeping up to date with licenses.

"Wow, he really covered everything," Kibum marveled. "I thought he might have just been doing it on a whim."

"If you got to choose," Jinki said, mirroring the question Kibum had asked him earlier, "is this what you would have chosen for yourself?"

Kibum opened his mouth, but took another few moments to actually answer. "I don't know. I don't think this would have even crossed my mind. I feel pretty good about it, though. I mean, maybe later I'll start panicking because of how much I don't know, but for now, I'm feeling good."

"You told Hyunmoo no at first," said Jinki.

"That was because of the Arrow," Kibum said. "I don't want to use it anymore."

"Because of Jonghyun?" Jinki asked, and then added, by way of explanation, "He came home yesterday with a lot of questions."

Kibum nodded. "Did he seem angry?"

"No," Jinki said. "Curious, mostly, I think. You haven't talked to him since yesterday?"

He hadn't. Not even a good morning text. Jonghyun had asked for time to think things through, and Kibum wasn't going to rush him, though he did wish Jonghyun would hurry up with it. It wasn't as drastic as, say, Jonghyun holding Kibum's life in his hands, but there was still something on the line. There was a chance that Jonghyun would look at him differently after this and feel differently about him, and who knew where that might lead?

Either way, Kibum wanted to know soon. The longer the radio silence continued, the more reason he had to come unglued, and he wasn't feeling all that self-possessed to begin with.   

Kibum got his answer when he reached home, opening the door to find Jonghyun sitting in his living room.

"Hi," said Kibum, unsure what this meant.

"You're back," Jonghyun said with a smile. "Taemin let me in. And then he left again. He's a very considerate roommate."

Kibum wavered on this point. "He owes me for a long time." He wanted to pounce on the elephant in the room immediately, but forced himself to let Jonghyun take the lead and sat on the couch, waiting for whatever was next.

"I thought about all the things you told me, and Jinki tried to explain a lot of it to me, too," Jonghyun began. "And honestly, some of it I still can't wrap my head around – how it all works, why it works."

Kibum nodded; he'd been the one using the Arrow, but hell if he could explain its magic.

"But that's not the important thing," said Jonghyun firmly. "The important thing is that you told me at all. I was never actually affected by it, and we could have just gone on quite happily without me ever knowing about it."

Kibum sensed another _but_ coming, and kept quiet, teetering on invisible tenterhooks.

Jonghyun obliged. "But," he said, "you told me anyway. No one forced your hand. You told me about it because you thought it was something I needed to know, even though it could have changed a lot between us."

"Did it?" Kibum asked hesitantly.

"No," Jonghyun said, giving him a soft smile.

Though relief pounded at his chest, Kibum refused to let it all the way in. "Really?"

Jonghyun's smile widened. "Kibum, I loved you yesterday and I loved you two weeks ago and I love you now." He reached over to touch Kibum's hand. "Nothing's changed. Unless you have."

Kibum shook his head, biting down a smile as he turned Jonghyun's hand over to trace the lines on his palm. Then he reconsidered and said, "Well, actually, there is the fact that I am a small business owner now. President Jun decided to retire and signed the company over to me this morning. And Jinki's going to be my business partner."

Still managing to be surprised after yesterday’s events, it took Jonghyun a couple of seconds to pick his jaw up from where it had fallen. "Wow, I don't talk to you for one day and all this happens."

"Mm, imagine if you didn't talk to me for two days. Maybe I'd finally win the lottery," Kibum mused. 

"No, no, no," Jonghyun said with vehement disapproval. "One day without talking to you was bad enough. I'm not going through that again."

"But… the lottery!" Kibum protested with a laugh.

Jonghyun shifted closer until he was right up in Kibum's personal space, not that Kibum minded. "I'm afraid it's not going to happen for you," Jonghyun said, drawing a finger down Kibum's nose and tilting his chin up. "I'm planning on talking to you and seeing you and loving you every day for the rest of our lives, and you're just going to have to learn to like it."

Leaning in, Kibum kissed him and smiled, his heart fuller than full. "I like it already."


End file.
